To take myself to A&E

[PumpkinSpicedLatte]

Not sure if this is the right place , my apologies if not.
Quick overview - I’ve posted here before regarding PND.
DD almost 5 months now
I take Sertraline 200mg
Been a battle to get support so far as I didn’t meet the criteria for severity but I soon spiralled .
I have a husband and also a very close friend who have been above amazing & thankfully is in my bubble so she’s been and helped me many a times, because she ‘gets’ my situation more than DH-nothing personal to DH he just doesn’t get mental health the same as my friend seems to.

I’ve woken today feeling absolutely beside myself mentally . Extremely sleep deprived . DD is not sleeping well at all, I got 2 hours sleep the last 4 days broken into 10 minute intervals of DD waking. I just don’t feel good.
For the first time ever i am contemplating taking myself to A&E to get proper help, but my issues are:
Currently we are having to isolate as DH has covid , I’ve tested negative and have no symptoms , but I’m guessing that means I can’t leave the house to go to hospital due to isolating? The other issue is I also breastfeed my daughter exclusively and she will not accept a bottle , and I can hardly take her with me can I ? Also don’t know how to tell DH that I’m feeling that bad without breaking him.
I’m at a loss, can anyone help?
Please be kind , if possible .
Thank you

@B1rthis

Your baby relies on your for food, comfort and safety. If you choose to go to A&E then she does need to go with you. At 5 months old, her sleeping patter sounds quite reasonable if she's waking to be nursed. Every baby is different, just like every person is different. She may also be picking up on your emotions and could want to be awake to be with you. Taking her out in the fresh air regularly might also help both of you. Baby wearing will help keep her warm. Another suggestion is to just spend the day in bed giving her free access to nurse when ever. This will give her lots of bonding time and she can nod off etc and know when she wakes you will be by her side.

I think you’ve misread the OP! This:

“ DD is not sleeping well at all, I got 2 hours sleep the last 4 days broken into 10 minute intervals of DD waking.”

IS NOT Normal or to be expected. Adult humans cannot survive on ten minute naps!

@PumpkinSpicedLatte Can't give you any more advice than you have already had sorry. But I do hope you get help soon/feel better soon.

It must be SO hard to have very young children/toddlers/babies in these awful covid times.

My heart goes out to you. Look after yourself.

Hello

I'm so sorry you're feeling so terrible.
I don't have much advice for you but I can sympathise, my baby didn't sleep, it wasn't his thing.
I lost my mind for a while, it was the very worst of times and I couldn't see a way out of it.
For us, getting the help of a sleep consultant changed everything, he didn't turn into a perfect sleeper but it definitely helped and I started to get chunks of sleep.

Best wishes to you, I hope something changes soon.

Sleep deprivation is truly awful coupled with your PND . I would call GP or 111 , please don’t suffer in silence. I also would see if your friend could have your daughter for a couple of nights. I know you say she will not take a bottle but it’s worth a try and you need your sleep. Your DH needs to keep away from you both and also needs rest.
I am so sorry to read your posts. It certainly sounds a really hard time for you. Remember you are not alone. Even if you post on the forum we will all try and listen to you. Thinking of you and hoping you manage to get some support

You've had some really good advice here OP, so I'll leave that part alone!

But can I ask a question about your medication?

How long have you been on it? Have your recently increased your dose?

200mg is the highest prescribable dose of Sertraline, and when it's new to your system - or you've just increased your dose - it can cause feelings of severe anxiety and even suicidal thoughts until your body gets used to it. If you're talking to the crisis team, it's important you mention your meds, as they could be to blame.

It being the meds doesn't take things away for you, but for me it makes feelings easier to deal with if I know what's (probably) causing them, and if I know that they're temporary.

You need sleep. As others have said prioritise that over everything.
Please contact you psychiatrist or you GP might be able to help in the short term.
I’ve been in this sleep deprived situation with a baby. I slept in my other daughters room, while my husband looked after my bf baby. I slept solidly and woke up like Pamela Anderson! Just having my baby in another room (my husband was instructed to bring her in if he really needed to) where she presumably was aware the all night milk bar was closed, she was fine and didn’t even stir!

Maybe when you husband is better he could take your baby and you could get some kip.

Please don't go to A&E while you're meant to be isolating. You could put others at risk, and I'm not sure how much help you'll find there.

Contact your HV. Or the team that conatcts you every 6 weeks. Ask their advice.

You will feel much better if you get more sleep. When dh is feeling better, he needs to help more with baby and you need to tell him how you're feeling so he can support you. You should try to nap whenever baby does.

Hi OP - i hope you are managing to get some sleep or perhaps getting the help you need which is why you haven't posted for a while.
I used to work in A&E liaison psych in the midlands and if i were assessing you i would certainly be seeking further support for you via the Crisis team.
the one benefit of being under an NHS perinatal/mental health team is that if you deteriorate there should be a process of escalation to help you get more support. can you call your team and update them, being brutally honest, about whats happening? they have a duty of care to support you and increase that support where needed.
longer term some talking therapies might be useful - you can self refer for this, but right now you need help to stay afloat.
best of luck.

OP - you need to get some sleep. Anyone would feel awful in your situation. Your baby must be exhausted too.
Make sure your daughter is fed, clean, dry and warm and then put her in her cot and ignore her. Giver her some calpol if you think she's teething.
She'll go to sleep.

If you feel you are at risk of harming yourself or others you can go to A&E, even if you are isolating because your DH has covid. Isolating does not stop you seeking urgent medical care. However you will probably be triaged to a red or Amber area with suspected covid, you can also take a baby if needs be to a&e but I would try to avoid having to bring a baby to covid a&e. Right now people are turning up to A&E with covid all the time.

However unless you are really at an acute risk of hurting yourself a&e might not be the best place for you. I would start by ringing the secretaries of the mental health team you are under, if no luck your GP or 111.

There has been some good advice but I also think it’s important to work out why your baby is not sleeping at 5 months as that is the only way you and your hubby can get some decent sleep. My son did not sleep through the night until he was 4.5 years old so I get your sleep deprivation.
A 5 month old is stronger than a new born so can fight sleep - my son’s sleep worsened at this age which is why I know!
My first thought is they might be hungry. I realise you said they are breast feed - some mums find breast fed babies will take a sipping cup of formula. Or you could use a sringe. If you were able to give them formula at night that might help them sleep longer.
The most important thing I recommend to people - and it always improves things - is take your baby to a cranial osteo. The process of birth is not kind to a baby’s body - the whole twisting your neck and getting squeezed out can sometimes leave pressure on fragile nerves in the neck or just plain neck pain! Every baby I know with sleep issues has either improved some or a lot after a few sessions of cranial. Looking for an Oesto who had extra cranial training for babies is ideal. Cranial is very gentle and babies can be treated from a few weeks old. It would also be great for you to have some as well. Get your body back into position after the birth and might help your sleep. Good luck.

Hi, I work for 111 and I would definitely suggest giving them a call! There are many different services we can refer you to, and if we feel you do need to be seen in person then we can advice you the best and safest way of doing this! I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this, and I hope you get something sorted :)

I don’t think A&E is the best place to help you OP. Its more for actuate physical symptoms as oppose to chronic mental health issues. Aside from that, I don’t think it would be safe for you.

It’s sad that you’re feeling this way and it’s a shame the right departments etc haven’t been able to support you.

As others have suggested, if Google your crisis MH team and explain how you’re feeling. Hopefully you’ll be placed as a high priority and be seen ASAP

Hope you get the help you need.

Your mental health has the chance to improve once your dh stops being a dick. It's rather a worry that he says he doesn't hear the baby crying. Rather convenient. Would he sleep through a smoke alarm going off? He needs to wake up in all senses of the word should he ever be alone in the house with the child overnight.

You need to contact GP, and contact perinatal mental health team - and explain you have contacted the crisis team and they won't help.

Ultimately, it is their responsibility to get you help, help you get some sleep if medication is needed.

A and E are useless unless you need PICU in an experience I have had with friends. I have never seen a home treatment team be called from A and E (or a crisis team), it has always been a case of things will be better in a little bit (apart from the time where my friend had had police helicopters called out... but even then they tried to ask me to take them home, thankfully police stepped in).

Your husband needs to step in as well.

Agree that A and E won't be of much help I'm afraid. You will sit around for hours and eventually be seen by a team who will give you a few generalised tips on how to improve things. Take other posters advice on other ways to access support.

OP do you have a health visitor? If you do I'd speak to them, they're not just there for your baby. I completely sympathise. I was under perinatal mental health and while lovely they were of basically no use. I'm only getting proper help now that DS is 1 and I've been discharged.

If you're a risk to yourself or others call NHS24 and tell them that you're isolating but need to present at A&E. you'll need to be taken down a different way away from other patients.

His is your DH? Is he physically ill with symptoms because if he still feels reasonably well he needs to help you unless you've decided as a family he should stay away from you both.

Also call your GP as the medication you're on may not be working.

I'm so sorry. I would be tempted to call 999 and ask them not to send an ambulance but say you're in a desperate situation. It is an emergency but you cannot present yourself at a medical facility.

Please tell your DH and get him to have a say or 2 off and look after your DC. I know you’ll still have to breastfeed but make sure all the times you are not breastfeeding you are relaxing - taking baths, doing your nails etc. Then get a really early night. Then tomorrow go out for a long walk alone after you have fed her. Or meet up with your friend half way though and have a long walk together.

Take baby to your bed and stay there. If she's unsettled, I would give her a dose of Calpol or a teething powder, often settles them. Then have a nap, with her. It's so hard being sleep deprived, aside from the constant responsibility of looking after a baby. I had no sleep with my first and slept much better second time due to co-sleeping all the time. You cannot do without sleep, it really is THE most important thing.
Good luck xx

Bless you OP. Those days are so fucking tough I remember them well. Can you call crisis team/mind charity/Samaritans? They might be able to help more than you think they can xx

Sending love to you

Contact your GP and make it very clear how you are feeling. You GP can then help or refer you on to ur community mental health team as an urgent referral and they will follow up with you

X

P.S. You are doing wonderfully. Being a mum for the first time is the hardest job in the world