To take myself to A&E

[PumpkinSpicedLatte]

Not sure if this is the right place , my apologies if not.
Quick overview - I’ve posted here before regarding PND.
DD almost 5 months now
I take Sertraline 200mg
Been a battle to get support so far as I didn’t meet the criteria for severity but I soon spiralled .
I have a husband and also a very close friend who have been above amazing & thankfully is in my bubble so she’s been and helped me many a times, because she ‘gets’ my situation more than DH-nothing personal to DH he just doesn’t get mental health the same as my friend seems to.

I’ve woken today feeling absolutely beside myself mentally . Extremely sleep deprived . DD is not sleeping well at all, I got 2 hours sleep the last 4 days broken into 10 minute intervals of DD waking. I just don’t feel good.
For the first time ever i am contemplating taking myself to A&E to get proper help, but my issues are:
Currently we are having to isolate as DH has covid , I’ve tested negative and have no symptoms , but I’m guessing that means I can’t leave the house to go to hospital due to isolating? The other issue is I also breastfeed my daughter exclusively and she will not accept a bottle , and I can hardly take her with me can I ? Also don’t know how to tell DH that I’m feeling that bad without breaking him.
I’m at a loss, can anyone help?
Please be kind , if possible .
Thank you

This is not the same but I was admitted to hospital when I was isolating due to a family member having Covid. I rang 111. They sent an ambulance who were set up with PPE.
I went to a zone for treatment which was set up for people who might be positive. I had a Covid test and was sent to a ward.
Hope that is reassuring that gaining help is possible.

I can't really advise you on what to do op but I just wanted to say that you will get through this, you really will. I had bad pnd after the birth of my first dc and she's 13 now and it's such a distant memory. You will get to a better place.

Are you in touch with your health visitor? Mine used to come and see me a couple of times a week for a few months until i was through the worst of it.

Can your dr issue some emergency stronger medication? Mine have been very helpful when I phone them, but understand that it's luck of the draw when it comes to Dr's and their mental health skills.

@aLilNonnyMouse

Google the number for your local crisis team and see if there is any support they can offer you. They often work with you in your home and they may be able to find a solution that keeps everyone safe.

^ this

You need to sleep. Urgently. If you are feeling this desperate, your husband needs to recognise that your lack of sleep is now a medical crisis in the same league as a heart attack or a stroke. I feel angry on your behalf OP that he doesn't seem to be recognising this.

I was diagnosed with PND after my first DC was born, which lifted as soon as he started sleeping properly at 10 months. I do wonder if PND is over-diagnosed because it is 'easier' to fix (with drugs) when what is actually happening is mothers are suffering from acute sleep deprivation, for which there is often no easy solution.

Your baby relies on your for food, comfort and safety. If you choose to go to A&E then she does need to go with you.
At 5 months old, her sleeping patter sounds quite reasonable if she's waking to be nursed. Every baby is different, just like every person is different.
She may also be picking up on your emotions and could want to be awake to be with you.
Taking her out in the fresh air regularly might also help both of you.
Baby wearing will help keep her warm. Another suggestion is to just spend the day in bed giving her free access to nurse when ever. This will give her lots of bonding time and she can nod off etc and know when she wakes you will be by her side.

You cannot go to A&E for your MH issues if you are self-isolating as a close contact of someone with Covid. You could end up spreading Covid to others if you have it asymptomatically.

I don't think A &E can do anything for MH issues unless you need to be admitted to a mental health unit for your own protection or the protection of others.

Contact your CMHT or GP. If neither are available, then the crisis team is absolutely who you should contact if you are in crisis. Tbf, it doesn't sound, from your post, as if you are in crisis. You sound exhausted (although I know that extended periods of sleep deprivation can lead to a psychotic episode).

Contact your GP or Psychiatrist. DO NOT go to A&E unless you do have an absolute emergency.

What help is the perinatal team offering? I've been in a similar situation. Do they call you regularly ? Do you have a care -co? Psychiatrists tend to deal with medication but what other support do you get from other members of the team?

I have too much experience with MH issues unfortunately. A&E is not a good idea. You are under a team and the only help above this is a Mother and baby unit as an in patient. Places are rare and could be miles away plus it’s women with PND and any MH issues. I know you are suffering but you are making sense and Don’t seem to be at that level. Having been an in patient I would say it does not always help. A&E can only refer people to a MH team and you are under one or get you assessed to be an in patient,

Ring your psychiatrists secretary and be totally honest with how you feel. You have managed to get through the hardest hurdle and that is being under psychiatric care its just the extra help you need now.

Call the mental health crisis team. Your GP surgery will have the number

Call 111! They have much more support they can access now since December when the service changed. If you need a&e they will book you a slot - this is the new way of reducing waiting room issues with social distancing.

This is awful to read op and if i was your friend i too would break lockdown to help you.

I've been precisely where you are and it is fucking horrific. I wouldn't wish it on an enemy.

Things that helped me on the very worst days :

Only ever look ahead in half an hour blocks. Don't even think about what has to be done in any other part of the day. Just what if anything you can, want or need to achieve in the next 30 minutes. Write down what you've done. Reset 30 mins later and repeat. Before bed review your list and mentally commend yourself for all the things you achieved. My list often just consisted of "brushed my teeth" and i learned to be very proud of myself for doing that!

I could never sleep while the baby slept, i was an anxious mess. I aimed for as much sleep as possible over night instead and this eventually involved me reading dh the riot act. Unless he wanted me to be sectioned he would need to do his bit. I was also very clear on what that meant eg I will be going to bed at 9pm tonight, i will do any wakings after 4am. Between those 2 times i will not do anything. I see you're breastfeeding? One thing i had to do for my sanity to make this work and for me to get better was to change to formula. Not everyone's idea of a solution but at the time i felt like it saved my life.

Don't cook any meals, don't clean,

Can you afford private therapy? I had an excellent cbt therapist who again i think saved my life.

You say you're in isolation, are you displaying any symptoms? If not I'd be tempted to wrap up warm late at night and pound the streets. I found walking beyond helpful.

Keep posting : so many of us have been where you are and if nothing else, just replying to a few posts will distract for a few minutes at a time

You will be fine and you will get through this

If you feel that you’re a danger to yourself or others go to A&E however don’t think they’ll have a quick solution for you they may refer you to crisis team at best but this usually takes hours.

You need to let the staff ok the door know you are isolating so they can isolate you from others and protect themselves. It’s fine to take a young baby with you, especially if breastfeeding. Good luck!

To be honest there's not much A&E can do for a mental health crisis. Phone your GP today (or community mental health nurse if you have one) and ask for an urgent review of your antidepressants. I'm sorry things are so hard for you.

Do you feel like harming yourself or someone else is the important question to determine whether to go to a&e.

If your DH has Covid then no, you definitely can't just turn up at A&E. Also, if you did, what could they do to help you? I'm not being goady, but you're already on medication, you are BFing your DD so you can't be separated from her and you're already under the care of a perinatal health team.

I really think you should reach out by phone to the person who calls you every six weeks and just try and get some sleep. Sleep deprivation is used as torture and anyone who's had a baby knows how brutal it can be, so put sleep and self-care up there with care of your DD and try to let everything else go. If your DH has Covid then he's probably not going to be much help, unless he's got a mild case and is up and about. If that's the case, then ask him to take your DD after her next feed and tell him you need to sleep.

Once your dh is feeling better I'd use this time being stuck at home to get your baby on a bottle. He can take her in another room and you can go sleep and catch up on over due rest. I breastfed my children and nearly went delirious with exhaustion with the third. It's only now I look back and think I should of just put him on a bottle for my mental health then I could of went and napped when shattered and left him with my dh. That type of exhaustion took me to places mentally iv never been before or since. It's so draining when your mental health isnt great having a tiny human relying on you 100% when they dont sleep.

In the meantime can you just show your dh this thread if you dont know how to verbally tell him how low you are feeling. Id call your gp and say you need more medication but I'm not sure if its limited due to breastfeeding.

Even on a good day, A+E will not give you proper help with this. They're generally rubbish with psych.

Agree with 111/crisis team, also that your husband needs to step up to really help.

Don’t go to A&E if you are living with someone who has Covid. That would be absolutely the wrong thing to do.
Contact your GP or the Mental Health Crisis team or both and tell them in no uncertain terms how much you are struggling. If you have only had two hours sleep in four days you must be at the end of your wits.
Get your dh to step up and take the baby off your hands for a while and go to sleep.

Look after yourself, eat well and take as much help is offered.
Once you can go out again (or if your friend is able to go to the shops for you and drop it in your doorstep) buy some bottles and some formula. I am pro breastfeeding for all the advantages it has in normal circumstances but this situation has to change and you absolutely need to get help with feeding so you can rest. My dd refused the bottle for ages but at 8 months I was leaving her overnight with my parents to go to my best friend’s wedding so I had a deadline to work to and a great reason for getting it sorted. You need your dh to be able to help with this so you can get some rest.

I’ve been there OP (but without the added issue of a pandemic). I remember desperately wanting to hurt myself so that they would have to take me seriously and I could get away from the baby and sleep. Sleep deprivation can be really dangerous, especially when you already have mental health struggles. Is there anyone at all who would be willing to look after DC so you can have a few hours uninterrupted? I know it’s difficult with your DH having covid but this really is an emergency.

I'm so sorry you are struggling.
Depending your area, you might be able to self-refer to a crisis team.
Google "(council/county) mental health crisis team" and something should come up. Or if you feel comfortable posting roughly where you are, we may be able to help x

You really need to get your gp to step up and rattle cages.

Sleep deprivation is horrid, it breaks you.

Your baby won’t starve in two hours - can your friend take the little one out in the pram for a huge walk and let you sleep? They can try him/her with a bottle but honestly he/she will not be harmed not having milk for two hours yet that amount of uninterrupted sleep would be a game changer for you.
Try it today and work up gradually to four hours. My ds refused bottles but I had to start half days at work when he was 6mo and he was pretty good eating porridge made up with bm at first then gradually changed to formula.
The end is in sight for of this period of being the only source of food for your lo even if they never accept a bottle (mine didn’t).

I would contact mental health crisis services in your situation. They can then decide if you need Home Treatment Team input initially, and they may also be able to tie you in with local perinatal mental health services.

I know you're suffering, but depending on where you are in the country I'd avoid A&E if you possibly can at the moment, especially given your current circumstances with isolating and breastfeeding the baby.

Please do ring 111 and explain everything you've explained to us. Unfortunately the services are so stretched you do sometimes have to be persistent to get heard.