To think ADULTERY should be treated as FRAUD and punished accordingly?

[LockedDownLil]

By way of the cheated spouse being accorded a larger proportion of finances, automatic full custody of the children, and the cheaters name being besmirched forever more? Like a cheaters register similar to a bankruptcy register. They’re morally bankrupt so it’s pretty much the same.

Is the reason that there are no penalties for this serious breach of contract because it’s mainly men who are the perpetrators?

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Public stoning and flogging would cover it.

I don't agree with the OP. Just require anyone getting married or entering into a civil partnership being required to be aware of previous cheating by whichever partner.

By way of the cheated spouse being accorded a larger proportion of finances, automatic full custody of the children

The cheated on spouse well may not want full custody.

There are some states in the US where "no-fault divorce" does not exist and adultery is "grounds" for divorce.
In North Carolina you can sue the other woman for being a party to the breakdown of the marriage (theft of services) and get monetary damages.

*may well

How can it be 'mainly men'? Who are they doing it with?

It's rotten that a man can marry, impregnate, and move on at so little loss to himself. But I wouldn't have wanted to stay with my husband, I was glad when I had a solid reason to throw him out. I don't think you can make divorce settlements punitive, though.

My ex approached divorce in the way that he clearly felt he would get a chance to shame me in court, it's an unhinged notion. That would make the process more fraught and damaging for any children involved. I would love for it to be normal to get a "reference" from former partners though.

So in effect you are saying that I deserved to be raped because I left my husband for someone else? Didn't matter he had made my life a misery, had been both physically & financially abusive, just the fact I had found someone else to love.

This would take us back 100 years. Also where does your idea that it’s men who cheat? Who are they cheating with. Are you suggesting they’re all gay.

@GeorgiaGirl52

There are some states in the US where "no-fault divorce" does not exist and adultery is "grounds" for divorce. In North Carolina you can sue the other woman for being a party to the breakdown of the marriage (theft of services) and get monetary damages.

What if she denies it?

Love it OP, but don't think it would work! Sadly ...

• to add, I filed a divorce on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviours. That made him very angry. I think divorce should be no fault.

Why don’t we just shoot the adulterer?

@ruabon12

I don't agree with the OP. Just require anyone getting married or entering into a civil partnership being required to be aware of previous cheating by whichever partner.

So wedding vows are essentially meaningless then?

@CayrolBaaaskin

This would take us back 100 years. Also where does your idea that it’s men who cheat? Who are they cheating with. Are you suggesting they’re all gay.

If they were cheating with men it wouldn’t be adultery, just as it wouldn’t if a woman cheated with a woman.

This is stupid.

YABU / dramatic / obviously have issues.

OP have you been at the sherry ??

By way of the cheated spouse being accorded a larger proportion of finances, automatic full custody of the children, and the cheaters name being besmirched forever more? Like a cheaters register similar to a bankruptcy register. They’re morally bankrupt so it’s pretty much the same.

Lockdown has only just been announced (in Scotland). You can't be THIS bored already, OP??

Arrangements for children must always be on the basis of what is best for them; using custody to punish erring parents irrespective of which one can actually parent the children best would be incredibly counter-productive. Can you imagine a court having to find that Parent X is a lazy bastard who will certainly neglect the children but Parent X must have custody because Parent Y strayed once?

You are assuming that adultery is the only "wrong" thing in the marriage. Life is just so much more complicated than that.

In this hypothetical situation I can't believe that after being cheated on I've now got to have the kids full time and can't even have a bloody night out..cheers op

So wedding vows are essentially meaningless then? well, if you make it a provision of this particular vow, then you have to take all the others into account and act accordingly...

So, “all that I have I share with you,” no separate finances then, and if either party has separate finances they should be held criminally responsible and the other party should be given full custody of the kids.

In some countries they still have “love, honour and obey,” the possibilities here are endless.

And what if the couple aren’t married? Is the damage done by a cheating partner less than by a cheating husband? He only can’t be held to account and his kids taken away fro, him because there wasn’t a legal contract?

Can you imagine the lawyers' beanfeast this would be, with both parties to a marriage accusing the other of adultery so they could cop the family's assets?

What happens if they have both committed adultery? Does custody of the kids go to the one who can show they only did it 99 times instead of 100?