Moral obligation to have the vaccine. Is one of us being selfish?

[FLOrenze]

We are in our mid 70s and are both very fit. We have strictly observed the rules from the beginning. The on-line calculator says we should be due for the vaccine in February.

DH says he won’t have it yet so that someone further down the line can be vaccinated. I think we have a moral obligation to vaccinate.

His view is that we we only go to the supermarket, we wear masks and wash our hands. I think that even though we have minimal chance of catching the virus he should protect me before others.

Nobody should give up their vaccine when offered so someone else can having it. A hierarchy of risk had been decided. I would not want someone in their 70s to forego it for my sake.

If you are offered the vaccine, take the vaccine. The order of roll out is not just out of compassion it is to protect the NHS. Those most likely to suffer the worst complications get it first, so please take it when it is offered. I can’t wait to get mine, but I’m young and healthy so happy to accept that it will be a while! 💐

He should take it. No one knows how this will affect them and someone technically less vulnerable waiting a little longer will have far less impact on the big picture than your OH needing hospital treatment.

I can’t decide whether your DH is trying to be chivalrous or just stupid.

If he doesn’t want to take the vaccine then that’s up to him, I don’t believe he has a moral obligation to take it if he doesn’t want it, but nor does he get to pretend he’s being a martyr for the sake of someone nameless further down the list.

I also think it will cost the NHS time and effort to keep track of people who want the vaccine just 'not yet'. It is much more efficient for them to do people in order than have to re-contact people. Take it when they want to provide it, don't try to second guess the system.

Thank you. I feel more in a position to defend my position now I can use the protecting the NHS argument. Secretly I thought he was a little arrogant in his assumption.

I think you need to assume you may click a hospital bed if you catch it. So best to vaccinate when offered.

*block

It would benefit people further down the line more if your husband had the vaccine and didn't end up occupying a hospital bed which that younger person might need, whether covid related or not. He isn't benefiting anyone by not having it, not himself, not you, not anyone else.

I agree with you.

He’s high up the pecking order for a reason. He can’t guarantee he won’t get Covid.

Would he refuse hospital treatment if he got it? If the answer is no then he needs to trust in the decisions made with hospital capacity in mind.

Everyone offered it should take it unless they have genuine medical reasons for not doing so (in which case I’d hope they wouldn’t be offered it in the first place but I don’t know how linked up things are)

We all need as many people as possible to be vaccinated as soon as possible, it’s more selfish to decline it

He should have it when he is scheduled. The NHS don't need the added work of keeping track of his wishes, finding him a new slot and re-scheduling him for a later date.

@TeenPlusTwenties

I also think it will cost the NHS time and effort to keep track of people who want the vaccine just 'not yet'. It is much more efficient for them to do people in order than have to re-contact people. Take it when they want to provide it, don't try to second guess the system.

agree entirely.

I do take the point that key workers are probably more likely to get it and spread it so perhaps there is an argument perhaps that they should have it before the elderly. But the fact is that when the elderly get it they are more likely to be severely ill and clog up the NHS.

I agree overall that when offered, one should take it asap.

As others said, if he wants to benefit others, the best way he can do that is minimise his chance of a hospital stay - and the best way to do that is to have the vaccine,

ps do you have children/grandchildren? I am fairly sure they would be horrified at this stance.
My own parents are mid 70s and the only thing that is keeping me going at the moment is the thought that there is a good chance they will get their first vaccine next month.

Although chances of catching it are small as it stands what if someone drives into you on the way to the supermarket, or he slips on an unmarked patch of wet floor? All of a sudden he is in hospital through no fault of his own and much more likely to catch COVID than previously imagined.

I suspect he is suffering from the fact that at his age he is a high bracket to take it. Male pride in effect is kicking in that he wants to be chivalrous and make sure someone else takes it.

Unfortunately the truth is his age puts him in a bracket where he needs to take it now he is exactly the type of person the NHS is hoping has the vaccine to avoid getting it and needing treatment

You can trust the system to have you both in line fairly. If they say now is his time, that's all you need. He should go. If he does get Covid then he might take up a bed that otherwise would be free.

Would it not be more difficult to arrange a vaccine when it's not his turn? It's done on clinical need, I would take it when offered.

What pretty much everyone has said. JVIC has decided the priority schedule to maximise the benefit for everyone, not just for individuals. It's not only your DH's risk that's taken into account, but of him using a hospital bed & staff. So he's not helping by not having it.

That's without considering the effect on you if he gets ill.

You need to convince the silly did otherwise, but it sounds like you're going to need to canny about it and not make it so personal to you, but about the JVIC & NHS

Good luck

Is. I'd be hurt & annoyed too.

We want as many people vaccinated as quickly as people.

I think turning down the vaccine when offered it is creating more work and slowing things down - he should definitely have it if he's happy to.

You should both have the vaccine when you are offered it.

There will be plenty of vaccine for the whole population and it is daft to forego it "so someone else can benefit". That's just not how it works.

The most responsible thing to do is for you both to accept the vaccine.

As the previous poster also said - he'd be creating more work for the NHS by refusing it as they will then have to come back to him at a later date, which just creates pointless admin.

Just another thought... Do you think the real reason he doesn't want it is truly because of selflessness and wanting to let someone else benefit.... or do you think he is actually a little suspicious of it?

It’s not to protect you.

It’s to protect the NHS. People over 70 are more likely to need hospital treatment for COVID-19 so it’s about trying to reduce the need for treatment.