Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel frustrated with work colleague with mental health issues

126 replies

Triptraptrip · 04/01/2021 05:56

I work in a school with young children. I’m asked to come in early (7am) - along with a colleague to run a breakfast club. Most children come in at 7, and there are about 25 children in the club. My colleague suffers from mental health issues, and struggles to get in for 7 - or doesn’t make it at all. If she does make it, she hasn’t eaten before she comes in - so makes her own breakfast and sits on a gym horse in the corner of the hall and eats. I’m struggling because I have 25 children to look after - which involves speaking to parents, settling them, helping them manage their belongings, helping them make their breakfast, eat, registering them, keeping the calm and happy, clearing up the breakfast things - putting the tables away (quite heavy) and I’m pregnant. I can’t really say anything as I don’t want to upset her as her mental health is fragile. I’m feeling increasingly frustrated, and I’m not sure what I can do? Thank you.

OP posts:
lovelemoncurd · 04/01/2021 06:00

Speak to your line manager. That seems the obvious course of action. Mental health issues or not. That's irrelevant and not your problem. It's about her fulfilling the role in her job description and she's not. That's your managers responsibility to fix.

rawlikesushi · 04/01/2021 06:02

I'd be frustrated too. It sounds like you have been kind and considerate for some time, and the allowances you're making for her are now impacting your own mental health. Barring unforeseen circumstances, it is not unreasonable to expect her to be there on time or to help you with the workload. Could she wait until the children are in and settled before grabbing her own breakfast?

Original poster
Triptraptrip · 04/01/2021 06:03

@lovelemoncurd thank you. I have spoken to my line manager, and I’ve been told to phone if any problems (there is a phone in the hall) - but as it’s early, other members of staff aren’t around - or if they are, they have their own things to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
Triptraptrip · 04/01/2021 06:07

@rawlikesushi I really can’t say anything. I think she thinks I’m doing too much e.g. If I support a child who has spilt a drink, she’ll shout across that the child should sort themselves out. I maybe am being over helpful, and should do less.

OP posts:
JamieLeesCurtains · 04/01/2021 06:09

A 1:25 ratio isn't safe.

Original poster
Triptraptrip · 04/01/2021 06:12

@JamieLeesCurtains no - I’ve also pointed this out. Particularly as some of the children are aged 3 to 4. Again - I’ve been told to call if any problems. Parents are supposed to sign up for the club to manage numbers, but they quite often turn up without registering - and I can’t turn them away.

OP posts:
lovelemoncurd · 04/01/2021 06:12

No being told to phone if problems isn't dealing with it. The manager needs to see for herself and speak to the lazy moo!

Honestly! I can't stand these work shirkers. I feel for you.

louderthan1 · 04/01/2021 06:13

'Phone if there are any problems': there's a problem already, you are effectively doing the work of two people by yourself, with all the associated health and safety/insurance implications.
If she isn't currently capable of doing the job due to health issues then she needs to be signed off by her doctor and cover put in place by your manager, just as it would be if she had a physical health issue.
Your manager sounds shit! You need proper support here.

Original poster
Triptraptrip · 04/01/2021 06:16

It’s so hard - because everyone is fraught. It’s a private school, so keeping the parents happy is a priority. As I’m the first member of staff the parents see in the morning, I have to come across as completely happy, sunny - and in control - and I’m not!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Triptraptrip · 04/01/2021 06:18

@louderthan1 she has had frequent absences, and alternative cover is sought if she is off and this is known in advance. I don’t know the nature of her issues, but I do believe it is very serious.

OP posts:
Digestive28 · 04/01/2021 06:20

You need to start phoning when there are problems, if she doesn’t rock up on time that will be easier for manager to address at the time, so phone, say she’s not here and let manager deal with it

Original poster
Triptraptrip · 04/01/2021 06:21

I think it’s a very difficult situation for the head to manage as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
Triptraptrip · 04/01/2021 06:22

@Digestive28 I do phone, but it’s often difficult to get hold of someone. However if my colleague does arrive, it’s often harder as I’m still not getting help - but I can’t phone as she is there!

OP posts:
ememem84 · 04/01/2021 06:23

And if one day you didn’t turn up? What would happen then?

Porridgeoat · 04/01/2021 06:23

You need to follow your managers direction. Phone everytime there’s an issue. Phone every time there’s an issue so that a picture is formed and your manager has the information to make things safe and ok insurance wise. If you can’t get through to anyone you need to let your manager know as a matter of urgency each morning as you have a duty of care. How will this ever be resolved if you don’t?

MsTSwift · 04/01/2021 06:24

Tough. Heads job to deal with this make it her problem. Cover your back if something happened to a child due to those ratios you know management would make it your fault right?

Original poster
Triptraptrip · 04/01/2021 06:25

And there is also an atmosphere - as I think she really, really doesn’t particularly like me - but I’m good at ignoring that!!

OP posts:
Porridgeoat · 04/01/2021 06:26

Her manager needs to give her supervision and targets. Then monitor performance. Can be a constructive thing about development in the role. You are being failed by your manager and your coworker

Original poster
Triptraptrip · 04/01/2021 06:27

Perhaps if I put it formally, in writing, to my line manager. I’ve got a record then of my concerns.

OP posts:
CupoTeap · 04/01/2021 06:28

If the school feel that it a reasonable adjustment to let her start when she likes that's up to them BUT they can't do that at your expense. Do they know you are pregnant?

violetbunny · 04/01/2021 06:29

@Triptraptrip

Perhaps if I put it formally, in writing, to my line manager. I’ve got a record then of my concerns.
Yes, do. And I would be sure to explain (with examples) what happens when you phone as has been suggested so far, and the impact this is having.
Porridgeoat · 04/01/2021 06:29

Can you make an appointment to see the head and explain how she has been working and that it’s no different wether she turns up or not. Ask him to put some targets in place for her which he can monitor.

Porridgeoat · 04/01/2021 06:32

Great idea. Give on the ground examples. Tell them you feel stressed as you are doing the mornings work alone. Ask if there’s a constructive way they can support her to perform better

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 04/01/2021 06:32

Mental health issues or a convenient excuse to shirk pulling her weight? Sounds like these MH issues are very convenient for her.

HermioneMakepeace · 04/01/2021 06:32

Perhaps if I put it formally, in writing, to my line manager. I’ve got a record then of my concerns.

Yes, definitely do this. Imagine if one of the children had an accident because you weren’t watching them. You’d get the blame for not letting staff know that your colleague wasn’t working.