to not give employee a chance?

[hippiedoodah]

I run a small business and hired an intern for three months early last year. He LOVED the job and spoke a lot about how this was almost his dream role etc etc.

I have hired a few people before and I had this gut feeling not to trust him in his first week that I have never had with other workers. He worked remotely and did the work. I wasn't impressed with his work but I kept a positive attitude and I gave him pointers to improve. I decided I wouldn't work with him again. There were many levels of mismatch with him being unreliable, narcissistic traits disguised as confidence, different personal values etc

He had no idea I felt like this. The position ended which felt like relief. I am always polite and since he was going there was no reason to be anything but polite.

Then...we needed someone very short notice for temp work the month after an employee quit without notice and he had been pestering me for a job and knew about this opening. My co founder suggested rehiring him since he knew our business and we were desperate, so I let him rejoin which was only meant to be for a week or two.

He had no idea that, although completely friendly outwardly, I really didn't feel he was right for the team. The position of two weeks just drew out longer and longer, there always was more work and we needed an extra pair of hands. I knew he was the wrong person but I was too exhausted to find another. He we there another two months.

My co-founder loves him as he is very charming and cannot see why I don't want to consider him. She and him socialize outside of work though an online group as they happen to know alot of the same people.

Now that position has ended but his 'dream role' is about to become available full time and I will be advertising it far and wide to find the best person. Co-founder wants to offer it to him but I really don't want to give him a second chance.

The problem is that he feels like I am one of his closest friends in London (my friednliness and enthusiasm) and he will assume it is his job and will ask for his start date/interview, he will pester me with calls etc. Whatever reason I give for him not being right for the role etc he will challenge and try and prove otherwise, he really needs the job and is struggling so much financially without any support and is being evicted, he has pulled on my emotional strings in the past.

He will be moving in the circles I am in for a long time so I have to stay on good form. He will find out about this opening very soon. I just have no idea how to turn him down and if I should just give him a chance and be firmer.

AIBU to veto this and not give him a chance. If I turn him down how do I do it without being an ass hole, what reason do I give that he can't dispute?

With him being unreliable- can you not use that as a reason?

Have you been honest with him in appraisals etc?

Tbh, him having different personal values to you should not be a reason either way, it shouldn’t matter.

You shouldn’t have rehired him, but I’m sure you already know that.

If you really don't want to hire him you will need to write the essential person specification for the job in such a way that he wouldn't qualify. Otherwise he could end up being the best qualified at interview and you would have a hard time justifying why you didn't appoint him. Especially given his experience in your team.

Is there something in terms of skills / experience your company needs from the new appointment that he doesn't have?

@hippiedoodah I was honest but I was upbeat and positive about it so he would have not known it was a deal breaker.

"great design work John. I think you really need to work on your content and read it through more thourghly and make sure it fits better with the brief. But I really like that you have kept to the font I liked and I am keen to see a second draft".

I can use his weaknesses I already pointed out but I have to be prepared for 'ive changed, give me a chance, don't worry about that I will be better this time, see you on Monday"

Assertiveness is your friend here - he is not afraid to be very assertive so you need to at least match that.

If it were me, I would explain to him that his role was only ever temporary and while he has met xy and z objectives, the full time role has different aspects and for that reason you will be looking for someone with a different skill set to his.

He won’t like it but it’s a business not a feel good charity.

This sounds... odd to me, as a manager of 25 years’ experience.

Has he continued to perform below the level you need him to? Have you discussed this with him? It’s unfair to judge performance of your employees privately, to the extent that you’d veto them for a position, unless you’ve done proper performance management, told them what you expect and give them a chance to improve. If you haven’t done all this then a lot of this is on you.

Is there something more going on? Are you envious of the close relationship he has formed with your colleague? Do you feel threatened by his success with colleagues? It’s hard to admit these things, but you need to be really honest with yourself.

The best way to ensure you get the right person for the job is to have a rigorous and transparent selection process - agree the criteria you’re selecting against in advance with other panel members, ask everyone the same questions, probe further where you need to, and agree a scoring system against your criteria so you can compare candidates fairly. If he’s truly wrong for the role then this will make it clear and you will be able to defend your position when turning him down.

But I’d have a very frank discussion with yourself first to examine why you’ve taken against him to such a degree first. Torpedoing his chance at the job is a big thing to do, so be clear why you feel the way you do before you act.

@CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson the only experience he has is working in our team and I would hope to hire someone with more direct experience in the role so I could give minimum experience requirement

Give him an interview and do the offer him the job because someone else had x y or z that he doesn't?

don't

It sounds like he's just not that great at the job. You've given him significant time to try and improve in the temporary positions, but I think you'd be totally justified to try and find a better fit for a permanent position. If you are making a commitment to have someone permanently you also need to try and find the right person.

If the position is open you may have to be resigned to allowing him to interview for it but I would really try and find a better candidate.

It seems to me part of the problem is that you don't trust him at a gut level and think he is a manipulator. It is really difficult to quantify that into a reason not to hire someone, but TBH it is one of the few things I would be willing to listen to even though I do see there it's problematic with regards to good emplotyment practices. People like that can wreak havoc in a work environment, especially when they are entrenched.

@LeSangeEstDansLarbre thank you for your feedback. I have alot less experience than you. I have only expressed my feedback in the way I described in my above comment. Because he was only there for three months I didn't want to come down harsh because I could sense his ego was large.

I don't think there is any jealously at all, my co-founder never worked with him as he worked under me, she only saw him at team socials. The team is only four people.

I really hate to hurt peoples feelings and make too many decisions with my emotions.

I just have a terrible gut feeling about him which is making me over think this. I just don't trust him or feel comfortable around him is the main reason that I don't want him back.

Well for safer recruitment you need to externally advertise and have strict criteria. At interview ask everyone the same questions-but I’d be putting in some questions around the issues you have identified to see if he has reflected on them and would do things differently-or if he comes up with same rubbish, then you have your answer. Maybe get them to do a presentation as well?

Your personal feelings shouldn’t be taken into account. I’ve hired people that I particularly like as people but who have been good at the job.
There is no way when someone isn’t performing to standard that they don’t realise because their manager is too”polite” To be honest that doesn’t sound polite it sounds weak.
An employee should always know where they stand and what they need to improve. Yes put in positives by all means but he should not be left in doubts about what he needs to work on

@ChestnutStuffing you have hit the nail on the head.

And when I say difference in values, he has said a few sexist comments and I feel as if he will never respect a female boss. I felt with all my other employees ive had in the past I could be transparent and honest but I felt a bit intimidated by him because I knew I could really upset his ego with a tiny comment and this always felt uneasy.

Advertise the job, see who applies. Interview fairly.

Hopefully there will be someone better qualified and then it's simply sorry we hired someone with more experience.
If he's the best of the bunch and essentially passes the interview, how him but manage him properly. If he screws up, deal with it. It doesn't matter if his ego is huge. If he acts inappropriately to feedback, follow the procedure for warnings etc. Keep solid written records so if you do need to sack him, you can justify why of he takes you to court

It's coming across in waves that you really have taken a dislike to this guy. Are you letting your personal feelings influence your decisions. Your co- founder seems to think he's a worthwhile candidate. It seems he's proved his worth when you've needed to call on him to step up to the mark. There's something very 'off' with your attitude towards him. Does he make you feel inadequate?

If he’s not right he’s not right and you need to make that clear, but based on his performance and not hitting the competencies rather than your personal feelings towards him.

I also find it a bit worrying he considers you a ‘close friend’. You’re his boss, how has this boundary become so blurry? Many bosses are friendly and enthusiastic but their employees do not misinterpret this as friendship - have you made it clear? Why do you think he doesn’t understand that?

Even if he does challenge your decision you are the person in charge, once you’ve laid out the performance issues and why the job isn’t right there shouldn’t be more for him to say - and if there is you can shut it down politely but firmly. I assume you’ve mentioned his performance issues previously as part of his employment so it’s not a complete surprise to him?

@Groovinpeanut my cofounder has never worked with him professionally, he worked only under me. They are both from the same country so speak the same language together and bonded over that and meutral friends. They have never met in person or 1:2:1, just as part of team socials and their wider friendship group from people in the area who speak their language.

I told her that I was having issues with him at the time and I told her and she understood but said that it was only 1 more month and he was still creating some value.

I don't think she has had enough experience with him to give the same judgement as me. She also is compassionate and wants to help out his financial situation and feels a level of loyalty since they are from the same country.

To me other than being compassionate and weak willed there is no logical reason to rehire him.

I feel that he is quote manipulative and I don't know how to deal with it. I don't feel as if I can lead him without him pushing me around, negotiating, taking advantage of my kindness, and forcing me to give in or be the bad forceful person. So that makes me feel inadequate because I would have to be the sort of boss I don't want to be. I don't think he respects me as a female leader as he has ignored many direct requests in the past.

@Sparklesocks I think its part of the manipulation because he asked for a pay rise right after saying this. I felt very uncomfortable. Other than asking if he had a nice weekend, I really don't think that boundary was crossed.

You've not adequately appraised him in case you bruised his ego?! Really!! He's an employee, tell him what needs to improve and let him have a tantrum or whatever if he can't handle it. All the more reason then to not rehire him.

This is how averagely adequate men end up promoted cos they've been barely doing a job but for so long that it's only right that they get the promotion. Urgh.

You don't need to justify anything to him. It's your business; you hire who you want. You don't owe him anything. Give him a finishing date ; brief note: 'Regret that we cannot offer you permanent employment and wish you all the best for your future career.' Bye-bye.

But you do need to (wo)man up - all this tiptoeing around his bloody ego! You're an entrepreneur with your own business - he's a cocky kid without a proper job! Your decisions are not up for discussion!

@TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup you don't have to judge me. It's not as simple as that. And I appreciate your honesty but I didn't come to be bashed.

He didn't respect my requests nor my goals for improvement. But he was charming and said all the right things before completely ignoring them. He was always on edge and the one time I had to be more firm, he almost exploded with rage and I could tell by his face as he sat in silence for the first time looking angry and being very defensive. He then emailed saying he was taking annual leave the next day. I told him that annual leave had to be booked in advance. He never showed up the next day. The day after he acted as if nothing happened and was shocked that he had to book annual leave in advance, and had only just read the email, and would book in advance in the future.

I didn't think any further disciplining him would improve his performance, only worsen. I couldn't make him respect me. Since the placement was short and he was producing useable but not great work, I thought the best bet was to ride it out.

Hes unpredictable and manipulative. The other employee has requested to work alone rather than with him despite being really enthusiastic to work with him at the start.

@katy1213 I am young but he is older than me. I have woman'ed up alot over the last year but I know I have a way to go. I have never had a problem disciplining before this

He does sound like he is a bad employee. doesn't take direction well, uses up time with his drama. I'd just say no, he's a bad employee.

In future though I would be careful to log this stuff.