to not give employee a chance?

[hippiedoodah]

I run a small business and hired an intern for three months early last year. He LOVED the job and spoke a lot about how this was almost his dream role etc etc.

I have hired a few people before and I had this gut feeling not to trust him in his first week that I have never had with other workers. He worked remotely and did the work. I wasn't impressed with his work but I kept a positive attitude and I gave him pointers to improve. I decided I wouldn't work with him again. There were many levels of mismatch with him being unreliable, narcissistic traits disguised as confidence, different personal values etc

He had no idea I felt like this. The position ended which felt like relief. I am always polite and since he was going there was no reason to be anything but polite.

Then...we needed someone very short notice for temp work the month after an employee quit without notice and he had been pestering me for a job and knew about this opening. My co founder suggested rehiring him since he knew our business and we were desperate, so I let him rejoin which was only meant to be for a week or two.

He had no idea that, although completely friendly outwardly, I really didn't feel he was right for the team. The position of two weeks just drew out longer and longer, there always was more work and we needed an extra pair of hands. I knew he was the wrong person but I was too exhausted to find another. He we there another two months.

My co-founder loves him as he is very charming and cannot see why I don't want to consider him. She and him socialize outside of work though an online group as they happen to know alot of the same people.

Now that position has ended but his 'dream role' is about to become available full time and I will be advertising it far and wide to find the best person. Co-founder wants to offer it to him but I really don't want to give him a second chance.

The problem is that he feels like I am one of his closest friends in London (my friednliness and enthusiasm) and he will assume it is his job and will ask for his start date/interview, he will pester me with calls etc. Whatever reason I give for him not being right for the role etc he will challenge and try and prove otherwise, he really needs the job and is struggling so much financially without any support and is being evicted, he has pulled on my emotional strings in the past.

He will be moving in the circles I am in for a long time so I have to stay on good form. He will find out about this opening very soon. I just have no idea how to turn him down and if I should just give him a chance and be firmer.

AIBU to veto this and not give him a chance. If I turn him down how do I do it without being an ass hole, what reason do I give that he can't dispute?

All the more so - he is a grown man without a proper job! Maybe that tells you something - why is he still an intern at his age?
Whatever, he's not your problem.

He can’t be that bad if you’ve kept him for this long. He obviously brings something to your company.
And if your cofounder likes him, you need to agree on this together.

It’s a bit weird that you have such a strong ‘gut feeling’ against him.

This all seems very strange.

As others have said as a business owner you get to make the decisions: hire or don’t hire whomever you wish.

But you need to work on your management skills going forward: clear feedback, boundaries and don’t let a bloody intern to walk all over you.

If an intern at my company almost exploded with rage and failed to turn up to work because they were sulking they’d have their role terminated.

It sounds like you're almost scared of this bloke?

Imagine that you are a 60 year old male CEO, how would you treat him?

I can bet you he would NOT have almost exploded with rage if you'd have been a 60 year old bloke. He'd have showed some respect.

Out of interest, what is the mutual language that he speaks with your partner? That would not sit right with me, them speaking a language you perhaps don't understand.

Your company, right? You are responsible for hiring and shortlisting candidates?
Advertise for external candidates - put the minimum experience requirement in - do not shortlist him.
End of conversation.
Further pestering constitutes harassment.
Block communications if need be.
Your co-founder/his friend can handle or mediate along the lines of: very sorry but with the current employment situation the field was very wide with more experienced candidates.

@TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup

You've not adequately appraised him in case you bruised his ego?! Really!! He's an employee, tell him what needs to improve and let him have a tantrum or whatever if he can't handle it. All the more reason then to not rehire him.

This is how averagely adequate men end up promoted cos they've been barely doing a job but for so long that it's only right that they get the promotion. Urgh.

This is spot on. I wouldn’t consider this bashing OP. It’s blunt, but very relevant here. Mediocre men get ahead with this type of behaviour and we must push back when they stream roller. Pay-raise indeed LOL, cheeky beggar.

Don't hire him. It sounds like you will be very uncomfortable working with him.

Don't interview

Don't hire

Don't respond to his emails

Don't take his calls

Tell your business partner what you said here - he ignores clearly set out written expectations and didn't REQUEST annual leave but said he was taking it and just took it even though you said he couldn't

STOP THINKING YOU OWE HIM ANYTHING

I think you need to tailor the job advert above his experience or qualifications

As for speaking to him, just be clear, we will look at all CV equally. Some companies do blind candidates so they obscure reference to name gender race etc - let him know that’s the process.

If he’s not picked it’s because it was a blind interview process.

@LaurieFairyCake

Don't interview

Don't hire

Don't respond to his emails

Don't take his calls

Tell your business partner what you said here - he ignores clearly set out written expectations and didn't REQUEST annual leave but said he was taking it and just took it even though you said he couldn't

STOP THINKING YOU OWE HIM ANYTHING

This.

He sounds hideous from your description. You're the boss if you don't like someone don't employ them. You don't even need to stress about justifying it.

I really don't understand people questioning why you don't like him.

It is awkward to get rid of people. I suspect I would interview him along with everyone else and if he asks (of course he's going to ask) just say you went with experience. It would make me cringe though you have my sympathy.

Don’t give him a chance.

We work side by side with someone like that who has zero respect for anyone. They can’t get rid of him although employer complains as the given employee doesn’t respect the employer or anyone around. Huge ego, huge drama queen.
Maybe better to hire someone new via agency?

Do not take him on permanently OP, you will deeply regret it.
If he keeps going on at you shut him down politely every time and just walk away.
In terms of reasons why he is not right for the role just say he hasn’t got the experience you need.
Explain to your co-founder you cannot work with him and will not. You have stated more than enough reasons why he is not right for the business and that another colleague does not want to work with him. That’s more than enough.

The co founder of your company is being massively manipulated. As are you. He sounds vile. I would be concerned he could cause a lot of damage if allowed on the inside. Dh has a woman working in the company, whose work is fine but whose attitude is appalling. You don’t even have this. Anyway, this woman reports to dh and he is the first one to tackle her as the (male) boss is scared of her. It’s been going on for years apparently and no one likes her. Dh said people practically cheered when she went on annual leave a week earlier than everyone else at Christmas. No way would I let someone on the inside, who I already know is like this. This man is toxic.

You keep referring to a gut feeling which implies his performance is fine but there’s something not right that you can’t place, but then provide lots of examples of why he’s a bad employee. Can’t take direction, including ignoring you when you said he had to book leave. Lying, because he knew exactly what he was doing. Not getting on with the team, as neither you nor the other team member want to work with him (and you may end up replacing the team member who has asked not to work with him, who I assume you’d like to keep). The nicest thing you can say is that his work is not great, but is useable.

He isn’t trying to impress you and doesn’t even have a job yet.

Set the criteria for someone with experience and whatever other attributes you need. As PP says you’ll probably have to interview him but can offer the job to someone better qualified.

Why are you so worried about what your partner thinks? Are you equal partners or is she superior to you?

Also, don’t forget that while this guy is struggling for money and in need of a job, the other candidates need a job and money too.

Out of interest, what culture is he from? Is it one that doesn’t respect women?

Being a weak manager can lead to chaos in the work place.

As a manager in local government I had very clear boundaries and appraisals to conduct at set intervals. If any aspect of work or performance was not up to standard I had to give the employee an informal (in the first instance) warning and a set period in which to improve. If the employee did not improve we then progressed to other measures such as offering further training and a formal verbal warning. At the stage where employees were given a formal verbal they had to sign to say they had been given a warning.

I once had a team member who refused to sign the form after having been given a formal warning. He said that he did not agree with my judgement so he refused to sign. I had to pass the matter up to MY boss and he was called to the head office with his union representative. Subsequently he was transferred to another department on a trial basis. He ended up with his appointment not being confirmed as his probationary had not been completed in a satisfactory manner.

Personal feelings on the part of the manager/s did not come into it.

You would be a fool to allow yourself to be bullied into giving him the role..

It’s contradictory that you had misgivings yet employed him with few boundaries when you were desperate/couldn’t be bothered to recruit properly.

While I completely agree with what previous pp have said about you've managed/appraised him so far, I also think you shouldn't hire him.

Be honest - tell him it's attitude and experience (of the role and of working in a team in a professional environment).

Had experience of a couple of hires like this - nightmares both of them. One was found out quite quickly, the other is still running rings. Trouble is, once he's an employee you can't fire him unless you raise these issues directly during feedback sessions so...now is your chance.

He'll find something else and you're not responsible for his life. Good luck!

I'm a little puzzled about posters saying your personal feelings aren't relevant. You say you don't trust him. Surely you can't hire him! And every detail you have added since shows a complete lack of professionalism on his part. Hire someone else. You can just thank him for his work so far and not engage if he asks why he wasn't hired permanently. Tell him a generic answer -- there were just so many fabulous candidates.

P.s. please don't take this as criticism because it isn't, but I wonder if you'd feel more empowered as a manager if you took some management training? All managers should and it would help with the tools you need in future for employees.

Use an external agency.
Set out the ‘essential’ & ‘desirable’ criteria clearly so that you attract a good selection of the proven skills & attributes (e.g. experience) that your business needs. There are plenty of people looking for employment at the moment.

If he does not make the agency sift, do not offer him an interview as a sop.

If you are not yet ready to recruit for a permanent post, consider using an agency to find an ‘interim’ specialist for a few months to get you back on keel & an opportunity to develop your leadership skills with someone already capable & experienced.

@hippiedoodah 〜
I am sensing concern that he might potentially turn vindictive and possibly do something retaliatory.
I can understand the extra difficulty, if this is the case.

Go with your gut feelings. Quietly.
Minimal contact,
Definitely no interview.

I hope you can find someone else, asap.

I understand the uncomfortable gut feeling. Usually, if it is uwarranted, it goes away quickly; but in this case, as it is persistent, it is likely for a very valid reason.

As a female boss in the same (I think) industry you need to 100% not to take on this man.

I've been exactly where you are. Your gut is telling you no, please listen to it.

I employ 6 men and until this year we were in offices, when interviewing one great candidate my senior guy said why won't you hire him, he's perfect.

I said because I need to feel safe, on occasion we'd work late, sometimes just me and one or two of my team, and just sometimes when I met people for interviews I'd think, if I was alone working late would I feel safe with him. If there was even a question of doubt I wouldn't hire them.

What you've explained is the same feelings I had about a few I interviewed.

I know the landscape of home working etc may change but your gut feeling is the bit you need to listen too.

He sounds pushy, cocky and not the person you need.

Oh he sounds awful. Don’t hire him. You’ll regret it and it’ll eat you up.

I agree pitch the job way over his skills and just keep saying regretfully that you can’t discuss the recruitment process but you’re looking for someone more experienced than him on this occasion. If he replies send him a generic thank you for your interest but no thank you.

This is YOUR business and you are the boss! One of the very few perks of that is choosing not to work with assholes like him!