to not give employee a chance?

[hippiedoodah]

I run a small business and hired an intern for three months early last year. He LOVED the job and spoke a lot about how this was almost his dream role etc etc.

I have hired a few people before and I had this gut feeling not to trust him in his first week that I have never had with other workers. He worked remotely and did the work. I wasn't impressed with his work but I kept a positive attitude and I gave him pointers to improve. I decided I wouldn't work with him again. There were many levels of mismatch with him being unreliable, narcissistic traits disguised as confidence, different personal values etc

He had no idea I felt like this. The position ended which felt like relief. I am always polite and since he was going there was no reason to be anything but polite.

Then...we needed someone very short notice for temp work the month after an employee quit without notice and he had been pestering me for a job and knew about this opening. My co founder suggested rehiring him since he knew our business and we were desperate, so I let him rejoin which was only meant to be for a week or two.

He had no idea that, although completely friendly outwardly, I really didn't feel he was right for the team. The position of two weeks just drew out longer and longer, there always was more work and we needed an extra pair of hands. I knew he was the wrong person but I was too exhausted to find another. He we there another two months.

My co-founder loves him as he is very charming and cannot see why I don't want to consider him. She and him socialize outside of work though an online group as they happen to know alot of the same people.

Now that position has ended but his 'dream role' is about to become available full time and I will be advertising it far and wide to find the best person. Co-founder wants to offer it to him but I really don't want to give him a second chance.

The problem is that he feels like I am one of his closest friends in London (my friednliness and enthusiasm) and he will assume it is his job and will ask for his start date/interview, he will pester me with calls etc. Whatever reason I give for him not being right for the role etc he will challenge and try and prove otherwise, he really needs the job and is struggling so much financially without any support and is being evicted, he has pulled on my emotional strings in the past.

He will be moving in the circles I am in for a long time so I have to stay on good form. He will find out about this opening very soon. I just have no idea how to turn him down and if I should just give him a chance and be firmer.

AIBU to veto this and not give him a chance. If I turn him down how do I do it without being an ass hole, what reason do I give that he can't dispute?

[quote hippiedoodah]@ChestnutStuffing you have hit the nail on the head.

And when I say difference in values, he has said a few sexist comments and I feel as if he will never respect a female boss. I felt with all my other employees ive had in the past I could be transparent and honest but I felt a bit intimidated by him because I knew I could really upset his ego with a tiny comment and this always felt uneasy.[/quote]
Under absolutely no circumstances would I hire anyone who made openly sexist remarks. You (hopefully) wouldn't if they made racist comments and this is no different. You could end up in a very difficult situation further down the line with existing female employees, if/when he makes them uncomfortable. You have a duty of care in fact not to make their workplace toxic. I'd actually take great delight in telling him that he won't be offered the role due entirely to his sexist comments. Want me to speak to him?!

'He didn't respect my requests nor my goals for improvement. But he was charming and said all the right things before completely ignoring them. He was always on edge and the one time I had to be more firm, he almost exploded with rage and I could tell by his face as he sat in silence for the first time looking angry and being very defensive. He then emailed saying he was taking annual leave the next day. I told him that annual leave had to be booked in advance. He never showed up the next day. The day after he acted as if nothing happened and was shocked that he had to book annual leave in advance, and had only just read the email, and would book in advance in the future'.

This alone is enough reason not to even consider hiring him. A no show is serious misconduct imo and I don't believe that he didn't know he had to prebook annual leave because EVERYONE knows it. To say nothing of the total lack of respect to you as his boss.

These are excellent reasons to consider him a poor employee, nothing 'gut feeling' about it. Most workplaces would not tolerate any of this for 5 minutes, so why on earth are you putting up with it?

Every employee matters, just one poor employee can even break a business and he is a poor employee. So you need to get the best person you can for our role, you know he is not right for it or for your business so do what you have to do and get rid of him.

He is manipulative....this kind of person is well practised in pushing people off balance to get their way. But you need to just put up with feeling uncomfortable and do the right thing here.

How was he disciplined for not turning up to work when expected?

Why does his colleague prefer to work alone rather than with him?

Tell him...you’ve hired someone who will respond well to constructive criticism as he clearly doesn’t!

The difficulty is that it's not entirely clear if he has had constructive feedback ...

[quote hippiedoodah]@ChestnutStuffing you have hit the nail on the head.

And when I say difference in values, he has said a few sexist comments and I feel as if he will never respect a female boss. I felt with all my other employees ive had in the past I could be transparent and honest but I felt a bit intimidated by him because I knew I could really upset his ego with a tiny comment and this always felt uneasy.[/quote]
Have you told the co founder what he said?

the sexist comments + other colleagues not wanting to work with him would mean he wouldn't get a job in my business. You don't need to feel bad about it.

Never hire someone your gut tells you not to. Especially in a small firm.

Don't overthink this or let people tell you you should have appraised him better or whatever - that's in the past.

Just don't hire him.

Write the job advert in such a way he doesn't qualify (lack of experience seems the obvious thing, if there's a couple of other things chuck em in too) - if he contacts you once it's posted, say 'great to hear from you, for his perm role we're looking for more X, but of course let's stay in touch'. If he writes again - say the same thing again. Any more emails ignore. Take one call - say the same, any more calls ignore. Be jolly and positive when you see him.

It's really tough running a start up, you need to conserve your energy and trust your gut. Don't overthink this.

If you think you need to be more assertive for sure work on that, but always best to build your strengths rather than worry about your weaknesses.

Tell him and your business partner that he is welcome to apply for the position but that it will be a rigorous and fair recruitment process and he will need to meet all the requirements and be the best person to apply (and have the necessary skills to be appointable). Tell him this is not a foregone conclusion and that you hope he has attended to your constructive feedback and will note whether he appears to be taking it on board. Offer to meet with him if he wishes to receive more feedback in advance of applying.

OP I used to manage a volunteer who was like this. All he knew about the topic was what I had taught him, but being male and older than me this instantly made him an expert. It's the one and only time I've sacked a volunteer, and this was after several months of trying to make it work with him. My manager hadn't seen that side of him until after I'd informed the volunteer that there was no more suitable work for him to do with the organisation, when he really let rip in an email. Any doubts my manager had about my decision were erased at that point.

It felt great afterwards and the project ran much better without him - so if it seems daunting dealing with this man, motivate yourself by thinking how much better everything will be once you're rid of him and you have a good colleague who works hard and respects you.

It’s your business (and your co-founder) therefore you should both agree with the next employee. At the moment they’ll be a wealth of potential candidates.

To maybe pamper your cI-founder you can offer him an interview. ‘Sorry but when you were interning/tempting we were able to publish your work but it wasn’t to the standard I would expect from a full-time employee.. it’s nothing personal but you need some more experience’.

Just advertise, let him interview. Then hire someone else and just tell them you've hired someone else.

I wouldn't even feel obliged to interview him btw, just put together the person specification for the role very carefully and shortlist only the strongest candidates for interview.

Focus on getting the best person for your business; don't spend undue amounts of energy worrying about him. If he is unsuccessful and feels hard done by that is for him to deal with, nothing to do with you.

Nobody is automatically owed a job. You don't owe him a chance as your Op suggests; the fact is that you have already given him many chances but he hasn't taken them. If he had wanted to be an employee he should have taken the opportunity during his internship to learn and take your feedback on board.

Don't hire him.

Also it's not very good that your co-founder doesn't seem to be listening to your objections.

Finally, I am not living in the UK right now, when I come another Brit, I don't assume them to be a complete genius that can do nothing but good just because we are in a foreign land together, I try to see them for the person they are. Maybe your co-founder could do the same?

As someone else said, if he is a nightmare as intern/temp (where he would be on, what is to him, his best behaviour), what is he going to be like once he is in a full time position?

[quote hippiedoodah]@TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup you don't have to judge me. It's not as simple as that. And I appreciate your honesty but I didn't come to be bashed.

He didn't respect my requests nor my goals for improvement. But he was charming and said all the right things before completely ignoring them. He was always on edge and the one time I had to be more firm, he almost exploded with rage and I could tell by his face as he sat in silence for the first time looking angry and being very defensive. He then emailed saying he was taking annual leave the next day. I told him that annual leave had to be booked in advance. He never showed up the next day. The day after he acted as if nothing happened and was shocked that he had to book annual leave in advance, and had only just read the email, and would book in advance in the future.

I didn't think any further disciplining him would improve his performance, only worsen. I couldn't make him respect me. Since the placement was short and he was producing useable but not great work, I thought the best bet was to ride it out.

Hes unpredictable and manipulative. The other employee has requested to work alone rather than with him despite being really enthusiastic to work with him at the start.[/quote]
After this update, there is no way in this world that I would hire him!

Write the job spec for the person your business needs.
NOT for another intern.

Even If he applies in an open recruitment process, do not interview him.
Do not give him a glimmer of hope or expectation that he is a likely candidate. No mixed messages.

You don't owe him a job.
If you don't think he's suitable, don't employ him. Simple as that.
How he feels about it is irrelevant.

I think the OP is long gone.

@hippiedoodah what did you decide to do?