One key worker, child should stay home

[Areyouactuallyseriousrightnow]

Not sure if there has already been a thread but AIBU to think that if only one parent is key worker and other is WFH, child should be staying home as school provision is for key workers who cannot complete their important role if they have to look after child at home, not so that the other parent can continue with work without interruption?

My partner is a key worker, but I don’t consider us eligible as I am home and therefore technically can be with the children.

YABU- if there’s one key worker take that opportunity to send the child in.
YANBU- if there’s another parent at home, child should stay home.

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows - I cannot do my job whilst sensibly supervising a 3 year old and one year old. It is not fair on them nor my employer. I cannot take calls nor undertake technical work without leaving them unsupervised which isn't going to happen. I did not say I was too special to work at home with the children present. I simply cannot do both so something has to give. My job of 11 years and masters degree would of course be sacrificed it's just quite upsetting to have to chuck it all

The vast majority of people "can't" do their job WFH whilst helping their kids with school work.

Thing is what you mean isn't that you're physically incapable, it's just very difficult. Well, tough. It's difficult for everyone. So you need to speak to your employer about easing the strain - not making it a teacher's problem. If too many children are unnecessarily in school then the virus will continue to spread at the rates we've seen, bubbles will close meaning doctors, police, nurses etc won't be able to work (you could WFH though) putting a huge strain on our key services. Sorry but if you can WFH your children belong at home with you. Middle through like everyone else. If you do you'll be muddling for a far shorter time.

We have taken up places for our teens and I really don’t care what anybody thinks. We know what is best and have weighed everything up the same as many other parents taking up places for the first time this time around.We are both on the list and Dh is working from home but in constant meetings. I work in education and dc works in the financial sector. He has to lock himself away due to what he does. The job is very much continuous meeting driven.We tried last time and 2 dc ended up very ill.Each child is one of 2 within their year group in going in this time so hardly a huge risk. They are being Covid tested and there is far more room for social distancing even when combined as a group. I will be at far more risk in my school but won’t be begrudging any child in. I know how incredibly hard it is to make that decision as a parent and also how important mental health is.

Mental health is a massive issue this time around and a big drain on the NHS. Like many the previous lockdown had disastrous consequences for us as a family. We should have taken the places we were entitled to but didn’t.We have two dc whose mental health is now being supported by the NHS as a result. Going to school is crucial as we are still battling the impact of the last lockdown. We need to keep one child out of hospital. Both our jobs have been stretched and bosses are now understandably getting jaded due to the huge amount of time we’ve already had off. Staying employed is crucial.Families know their limits and act accordingly.

Every family has different circumstances to wrestle with- differing jobs, housing, personalities, life events, job security, life events ...... It is not a one size fits all. Guilt mongering threads like these are pretty pointless.

@Pinetreesfall you are being too conscientious. Nobody is doing a technical job and taking calls all day, 8 hours per day 5 days per week, and looking after their children on their own. In my work for example if I can manage 5 hours per day, including showing willing to mop up as much as possible in the evenings, my employer is flexible in that way. I am lucky that DH does the same so the kids have someone with them say 60% of the time and sometimes watch TV during a call.
What conversations have you had with work so far? eg- this project deadline will need to stretch / this client will need a call to say we will do things a different way this month/ this junior team member with no kids should be redeployed... all these kinds of discussions should be happening with you suggesting ways to reduce your own workload with as little impact on the business as possible. Employers don't get to just say "we want the same work happening as usual".

Personally I anticipate when this is over there will be lawsuits for employers who dismissed people based purely on the letter of their contracts during lockdown.

My Dh works and creates as a team continuously in conference calls. He can’t make everybody ring back at 6 or 7. If he isn’t there at the meetings he isn’t there. It has an impact on their projects and goes against him as being a reliable worker. He understandably gets very stressed on top of physically and mentally not being able to be there for his dc during the working day.

Do you really want a social worker to be juggling looking after her 3 year old whilst trying to keep a child safe?

Working from home with young children is not possible for many people in health and social care. I feel a bit depressed by these threads today.

I'm a key worker WFH. My partner is working outside the home. I am eligible and I have a space.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9 - WFH with small children, is not possible for most people! But unless it’s a ‘critical for the country’ role, held by both parents, then the rest of us should be scaling back or juggling it between us. It should be a discussion with your employer time, not let’s bend the rules to suit our needs time. It’s a farce that everyone is jumping on the bandwagon, and I’m sick of the excuses. Oh Johnny is much happier when he’s not stuck at home all day..well guess what? All our kids aren’t happy being stuck at home all day!

I'm a bit tired of everyone's dh being "in constant meetings" too. We are all in constant calls unless we manage them and prepare an scale back to only the most important ones.

Too many men have never had to make a hard call between doing their job the way they would ideally like to do it, and doing a good enough job to allow for other priorities. Now they must.

Are social workers not key workers @Ritasueandbobtoo9?

by which I mean their children can go to school or another parent who isn't a key worker can pick up the slack or juggle so important meetings are kept and paperwork done at night?

Amazed that on another thread on here only the other day a mum on mat leave was hauled over hot coals for leaving an 18 month old unattended (in front of the tv) for 15 minutes to have a shower, because it's a 'safeguarding issue'. Yet people here advocating leaving a one year old baby and 3yo to their own devices for much longer than that. Honestly, lots of people need to give their heads a wobble. You cannot keep tiny children safe while wfh. That's one of the reasons childminders and nurseries are still fully open this time around.

I can bet that the people moaning and whinging on here about key worker children in schools who 'shouldn't be because we're all perfect parents who have no other choice than to muddle through' would be the first to take up a place if it were open to them. It's not a race to the bottom. Stop shaming parents for the choices they have made. As others have said, we're all in the same storm but in different boats. Nobody needs to justify their decision because everybody's situation is unique.

Our schools are allowing children with only one keyworker parent to go in. My husband isn't a keyworker but his work is still continuing, both in and out of home. So our children are attending school 2 days a week so he can work out of the house those 2 days. I am working full time as a keyworker. Our eldest child also has SEN so counts as vulnerable too.

@SueEllenMishke Yesterday we weren't sure if DH was classed as a critical worker. UUK and the government confirmed this afternoon that all university staff are classed as critical workers

Do you have a link to this please? I’m not disputing some are but frankly am surprised all would be classified as such, there are a lot of roles. I do know someone it would help though.

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows
Thanks, my children are at nursery and will continue to have a place - they are remaining open. My DH is a keyworker outside the home so we cannot juggle through together. My 12 year old is currently doing live lessons and I will continue to work. If I don't work who supports us? Government sure as hell won't.

@Whatafustercluck thank you. Precisely I cannot just 'muddle through' with my role and cannot leave children of those ages unsupervised for longer than 5 minutes while going to the loo!
I am being paid to do a job. I am not being 'too conscientious' either as others have suggested. I am simply doing my role.
If I cannot do my role because my children would be at home then I have to give it up. It's not a case of doing a half arsed job to muddle through.

none of us can simply do our roles, that's the point. There's a gap between perfect and giving up, that's all I'm saying.

[quote GrumblyMumblyisnotJumbly]**@SueEllenMishke* Yesterday we weren't sure if DH was classed as a critical worker. UUK and the government confirmed this afternoon that all university staff are classed as critical workers*

Do you have a link to this please? I’m not disputing some are but frankly am surprised all would be classified as such, there are a lot of roles. I do know someone it would help though.[/quote]
We were sent an email from HR saying that they'd had it confirmed that university staff we're considered key workers. They provided us with a letter too.

My DH had a similar email.

It might be worth them speaking to HR?

It's also been confirmed by the DfE....

@Pinetreesfall - the point here though, is that many people are struggling to muddle through, and we are not talking about pre-school children here either, as nurseries are remaining open for that very reason. So yes your children would go to nursery, whether you were key worker or not. We are talking about those parents of school age children, who can be left unattended for longer than 5 minutes, and are not at risk from being left to carry on with home school work, while parents are on calls in the next room. Those people who think that they ticked the box because one happens to work in ‘financial services’..which is quite frankly as broad as the hills....and therefore think they are entitled to send their kids to school. So many people are doing this now, such that demand for places at our local schools, is multiple fold what it was before. And that, I’m sure you’ll agree..is wrong.

Seems a startling coincidence that the only WFH non-key worker jobs that are not able to muddle through and compromise are those of parents who are married to a key worker.

Can't believe back office university staff would be classed as kw.

@inquietant

Can't believe back office university staff would be classed as kw.

Why? They are often quite critical in the running of courses and the university in general..

It's 'back office staff' who organize the timetable, make sure students are enrolled on the correct course/module, that sort student finance, process applications and offers, monitor attendance, process grades and therefore ensure people are awarded the correct degree, make sure students can access taught sessions and online material.....i could go on.

As a university academic I could not do my job if weren't for 'back office staff', or Professional Services staff as we prefer to call them.

@NCstaythefuckathome

Seems a startling coincidence that the only WFH non-key worker jobs that are not able to muddle through and compromise are those of parents who are married to a key worker.

Let’s just say that home-schoolers are critical workers then we can all send our kids back to school. No matter that there are threads all over MN about schools that are 50, 60, 75% full. And that the more we all mix the longer this nightmare continues.

Couldn’t get spaces for my children last time due to the amount of piss takers also.
Consequently I had to massively reduce my hours.
So apologies to the NW that some of your Covid testing centres/vaccination centres aren’t ready yet.

Yes I’m still pissed off.

I think the biggest issue this time round is so many employers seem less willing to be flexible and understand the pressures now on parents. People shouldn't have to quit jobs as the furlough scheme is meant to help (although I fully understand losing 20% + pay has massive consequences for many).