One key worker, child should stay home

[Areyouactuallyseriousrightnow]

Not sure if there has already been a thread but AIBU to think that if only one parent is key worker and other is WFH, child should be staying home as school provision is for key workers who cannot complete their important role if they have to look after child at home, not so that the other parent can continue with work without interruption?

My partner is a key worker, but I don’t consider us eligible as I am home and therefore technically can be with the children.

YABU- if there’s one key worker take that opportunity to send the child in.
YANBU- if there’s another parent at home, child should stay home.

@Elfinghecking

I think if you've made the decision to send your kid in, knowing that you are not actual a 'critical' worker as most people would consider it or are WFH so then you can't get all defensive about it. Just own it.

This attitude is what is making people defensive.

I am a front line NHS doctor, usually work PT, have been face to face since pandemic began and have picked up additional shifts where childcare allows in addition to taking on some clinics from home where possible. We only ever use childcare when I am working

DH works from home in a KW role that is in an industry critical to COVID response. His work is time critical, he is relatively new to this particular role and if he was not able to work in his set hours, they would need someone else. He has a degree of flexibility for a couple of hours a day; if my role was non-critical, we could probably juggle it both wfh but with me out of the house all day, he absolutely cannot hold it down with children there too.

As far as salary goes, he out earns me significantly. His salary pays our mortgage and bills and funds our lifestyle. I acknowledge we are exceptionally fortunate that he is a high earner

If schools decide him wfh means no places, I take unpaid leave and stay with the children. The personal loss isn't so great; I spend time with family and we are all isolated with low chance of contracting anything. The loss to the NHS far more significant considering we are at critical incident.

I shouldn't need to defend my situation but it really upsets me to think people judge us for using childcare

Haven't read the whole thread. I don't think anyone has any issues with key workers absolutely having to send their kids to school is there is no alternative. However given the amount of school occupancy, I wonder if there is a genuine need for all these kids to attend. If there is the govn needs to take further action and find another solution because what is the point of closing schools if they are up to 70% full anyways

@CakeQueen87 really, someone posts saying actually my kids do need to be in school and you think that gives you the right to interrogate their role, working hours etc and pronounce your judgement on whether they’re justified or not?

All I see is people volunteering their personal details themselves,,and saying this is why my DC are going to school
I have no interest in discussing anyone’s personal circumstances, everyone sees themselves as an exception, when in reality very few are.
It’s shit for everyone, the system stinks, but we either individually make tough choices or we prolong this for everyone.

‘ However given the amount of school occupancy, I wonder if there is a genuine need for all these kids to attend.’

I would say clearly not. And 61 % agree. Which kind of matches the ratio for parents send kids into school

I think the difference is often sectors and employers attitudes. DH recently moved to a University from private practice and the culture is so different. The private sector aren't generally flexible, quite a lot of companies consider employees to be disposable and make that clear to their employees.

When DH broke his arm at work (few years ago) the Dr seemed shocked that he didn't have paid sick leave and was asking if he was self employed when DH was pushing for return to work timescales. DH's work made it clear he wasn't going to be paid (at all) until he was back to full capacity, so none of the usual do phone consults and paperwork that would be normal in his sector... Clearly not the kind of employer who would tolerate reduced work output due to homeschooling.

Juggling shift patterns is probably slightly easier if you're doing 3 or 4 shifts a week each - it should be possible to avoid more than 1 day where both are working - I'm working on an assumption of 3 or 4 12 to 13 hour shifts here which would be 36 - 52 hours and therefore full time near enough.

‘ I have no interest in discussing anyone’s personal circumstances, everyone sees themselves as an exception, when in reality very few are.’

This definitely

@riddles26 you are both KW, you are a doctor, you are entitled to a place, this thread is about those with a non KW at home who is not looking after the kids.

How old is your DD? Is there another adult also WFH? If the answer is over 8 and yes, then you're taking the piss and you know you are. I've worked in pretty much exactly the same job and it does not warrant using a school place in the middle of a pandemic

@NCstaythefuckathome just one example, there are many many more dotted about the thread of people being asked the exact nature of their job, their partners job, their children’s ages with an “oh that’s ok” or as above “you’re taking the piss” judgement. That’s far beyond someone volunteering information.

People are volunteering information to show its more nuanced than just a completely binary choice between two parent key worker families - or piss-takers.

@Jellycatspyjamas

Interrogate their role and working hours. WTF are you talking about.
The only role that I have passed any comment on is one that I have done myself and which I therefore felt qualified to give my opinion on.

@NCStaythefuckathome he is in a profession that so many on the thread keep saying shouldn't be key or critical and I guess that's what gets me defensive about the situation.

You're right though, we have the place because of the value of the jobs to society in the pandemic and I should ignore the snidey comments about jobs in professions like his not being essential. They have no idea what he does to judge

@EmmetEmma @Jellycatspyjamas but then it seems like you’re saying, people want to share their own example with information they deem relevant, but nobody can ask them questions that they see as relevant.

I think you either share your example and people can ask you about it to understand better, or don’t share it.

I think anyone with a genuine need for a place would not be bothered by any of the comments on here. Those who are feeling judged by it are fully aware that they could keep their children at home if they absolutely had to.

This.

@riddles26 I think if the thread doesn’t apply to your situation, don’t worry about it as people are talking about a different context.

I’m totally fine with people asking questions @NCstaythefuckathome as I asked what people think I should do in my situation.

I think @Jellycatspyjamas was saying that some poster’s can come across as arbitrary.

Presumably the point is that actually it’s not straightforward.

I think what complicates it, is that of course there are a million reasons why anyone WFH can’t theoretically look after their kids- because these are separate two full time jobs, neither of which is designed to be done alongside the other!

However what simplifies it is that we need to keep people from mixing, so schools need to be open only for those KW without childcare, so broadly, all non KW at home should be looking after their kids. Not necessarily doing a fantastic job, but keeping them fed and safe. So that we all get out of this quicker.

I'm wfh full time in nhs on covid response, my Dh wfh full time in IT and his work won't furlough him. 2 ds age 4 and 6 who need a high level of supervision. We need his wage to pay the bills. The kids being at home will disrupt my ability to work and it really is crucial at the moment. But, I do feel guilty sending them in.

@Jellycatspyjamas

How old is your DD? Is there another adult also WFH? If the answer is over 8 and yes, then you're taking the piss and you know you are. I've worked in pretty much exactly the same job and it does not warrant using a school place in the middle of a pandemic

@NCstaythefuckathome just one example, there are many many more dotted about the thread of people being asked the exact nature of their job, their partners job, their children’s ages with an “oh that’s ok” or as above “you’re taking the piss” judgement. That’s far beyond someone volunteering information.

I answered no to both those questions and then got told I was still taking the piss

Some people won't be happy unless nobody but nurses on covid wards have kids at school.

The nurse upthread saying "He really can’t supervise the children and work - his work is very pressured and he already works crazy hours." ‘Yes. He can. That's his job in the pandemic. I am doing this, for example. A nurse must go in and do punishing awful shifts.’

No, a nurse does not have to go in and do awful punishing shifts unless she chooses to. Her family can come first. If her children need her home because husband’s job pays the mortgage and bills, and he cannot school them whilst holding down this job, is it her ‘duty’ to risk losing their income, home, ability to provide for their family?

Of course not. She’ll take unpaid leave to care for her kids, allowing her husband to work and keep them afloat financially. Or she’ll use a keyworker place if available, so she can still do those ‘awful punishing shifts’ to help the NHS!

*I answered no to both those questions and then got told I was still taking the piss grin

Some people won't be happy unless nobody but nurses on covid wards have kids at school.*

I agree, and some folk seem to think they’re the personal gatekeepers of school provision - rather than the people on the ground who are actually paid to make those decisions.

‘
I agree, and some folk seem to think they’re the personal gatekeepers of school provision - rather than the people on the ground who are actually paid to make those decisions.’

I just don’t believe that 40 - 50% of families NEED to have their children in school as they have no alternative in the middle of a lock down.
And as someone not taking the piss I get to have an opinion about something that could extend school closures for the rest of us.

@Elfinghecking

‘ I agree, and some folk seem to think they’re the personal gatekeepers of school provision - rather than the people on the ground who are actually paid to make those decisions.’

I just don’t believe that 40 - 50% of families NEED to have their children in school as they have no alternative in the middle of a lock down.
And as someone not taking the piss I get to have an opinion about something that could extend school closures for the rest of us.

Yep you’re right, we absolutely are entitled to our opinion when it’s our children at home who are affected if schools stay closed longer due to the continued spread of covid that this will very obviously contribute towards.

Gov really does need to step in at this point and tighten up ‘critical’ worker. It’s not fair on schools to put them in the position to argue with piss taking parents.
NHS frontline staff working out of the home should be no1 priority and then triage other down but not allowing any more than 10% of kids in school.

Our school has sent out an email reminding parents that even critical worker parents should try to keep their kids at home if they WFH

• there are so many kids in school that they’re worried the teachers will catch COVID or need to self isolate jeopardising their ability to deliver education to all the kids.