To wish there was a confessionals section

[hicoolcatsandkittens]

Where you could just come on and offload your little sins you couldn't say in person.

Can we have a thread of confessions you want to get off your chest and give us some lighthearted laughs to distract from the current situation.

@sproutburger

I pretend that my broadband is cutting out when pointless work meetings get too boring. Switch off wifi connection on laptop, back on and log back in to meeting. Apologetic message in chat. Repeat for a bit longer 3 mins later. Switch off for good another 2 minutes later. Do useful work that you've been trying to do all week for 45 mins. Rejoin meeting near the end, oh no are you about to finish?

This is genius

I wrapped all the Christmas presents this year during Teams meetings to decide how we would support a large number of citizens to implement a national government policy. I've knitted through the ones since.

I sometimes get DS to dramatically yell for me if I'm talking to a particular colleague who annoys me by never letting anyone else get a word in and who is a complete fantasist. He has thus far broken his toe, had a profuse nosebleed, twisted his ankle and fallen down the stairs. He did drama at school

Made the decision to step back from a (so-called) friend, but they're now going through a hellish time and need support. I care and sympathise and can't walk away, but it's making me feel resentful and then I feel so guilty.

I hide snacks in the bottom drawer of my bedside table. At the moment I have chocolate coins, a bar of dark chocolate & a tube of sour cream Pringles in there. DS2 has been asking about "the cream ones" ever since we finished the plain ones. I keep fobbing him off or outright denying any knowledge of the existence of "cream Pringles" in the house. Not even remotely sorry - they ate most of the plain tube & they've eaten loads of junk facilitated by DH over Christmas. I'm sacrificing my waistline to save their health.

I have some marzipan chocolate under my pillow

On long car journeys when my kids were small, I’d sometimes eat crisps. If they asked me what I was eating I’d say ‘Dried up crunchy mince.’ I never had to share.

I have a lovely soft blanket and cushion in my office. Sometimes I lock the door and have a sleep.

My mother was very abusive emotionally and physically. I used to fantasise about my Dad marrying one of my teachers and having her as a stepmother. I still have this fantasy. I still imagine what it would have been like if I’d had someone like her in my life. I’m 53. It’s pathetic.

Well done on the people for admitting you wouldn't have children. I deffo wouldn't. I love my son very much, but if I had a try first then there is no way that I would be a parent.

Was contemplating leaving my cosy bed to go and make a coffee and a round of toast. Instead, I've just ordered a McDonald's breakfast on the back of this thread. Swore no more take aways. Oh well!

@grassisjeweled
I also fancy the fuck out of my BIL! He's my SIL's husband so theres an extra step of removal that makes the feeling kosher IMO 😂
He is FUCKING hot...

@OurSurveySaid

I would cheat on my OH in a heartbeat, with a married friend who is champing at the bit (and whose spouse is aware of this). Only COVID is stopping us.

This.

I adore my husband and hate myself for thinking like this but I have a male friend that I would risk everything for 1 night with, pretty sure he likes me too which makes it worse

Another BIL one here. I stay at their house a few times a year, and always masturbate there knowing he’s just in the next room. Would never do anything in real life though.

HaHa yet another BIL fantasy here Would also never do anything about it. During a very drunken night many years ago her DH told my DH that she was a great mom but a bad partner, one-sided effort, lazy, bad sex all the usual. Anyway, it remains a fantasy.

I faked a migraine so my mum would stop calling me every half an hour for a chat so that I could play my new game interrupted.

She had a day off work while her husband was working and tends to use me as "back up entertainment" when she is bored. After the third call we had nothing left to say and I couldn't take a while day of small talk.

@Inthe60s

HaHa yet another BIL fantasy here Would also never do anything about it. During a very drunken night many years ago her DH told my DH that she was a great mom but a bad partner, one-sided effort, lazy, bad sex all the usual. Anyway, it remains a fantasy.

Where are all these good looking bils lol

Mine are very unattractive, one has made a move on me a few times, if only he was good looking lol

My DS watches an unhealthy amount of tv.

I ring my own doorbell to get off a boring phone call

This is bloody genius though..why have I never thought of this

This is an old one ! My mum used to get phone calls from a neighbour who was very nice but could she talk ! And talk....and talk....and talk.....

So my mum used to signal to my Dad to ring the doorbell so she had an excuse to get off the phone !

It must be generational because I've been friends with her daughter for years and years and guess what........when she phones she talks....and talks....and talks.....so I gesture to my husband to knock on the door so I've got an excuse to end the call !

A long long time, but while staying over night at DSis house I took batteries from her kids toys to use for my vibrator .

The BIL thing might not be that unusual. There could be something that attracted you to your DP/DH, and that attribute (physical beauty, kindness, humour) might also be in siblings too.

Yep, another BIL one. I’m very happy with DH, but both of his brothers are in fact just as gorgeous as him. I would never do it though in a million years, but no harm in noticing.

Also, and this is a big confession, that I had to name change for
Whispers... I smoke

I’m loving this thread by the way, no harm in celebrating that we are all flawed human beings!

This thread has cheered me up, I've been crying with laughter. Just the pick me up I needed

Yet another BIL one. A few months into relationship with who later became my DH I met his family, including his brother Richard. His nickname with friends was "little richard", he was a big music fan!

Many years later I found out that nickname was because he (allegedly) had a big dick. I've always been more than a bit curious, but little richard will always remain sadly out of reach :(

Also, it's always the kids that have eaten the ice cream. Never me, I don't really like it.

@Deux

I still fancy my ex. Been married 20 years and faithful.

Same!

I once took out a tampon to have sex with a soldier in his barracks. When we had finished I went home without my tampon and it got left on the barracks floor. I heard later that the whole barracks were playing football with it the next day.