To put a note through their door anonymously?

[studychick81]

We live in quite a built up area and have houses around the side and back of us so I am used to noise and know it's to be expected when you choose to live in a semi detached house. I am not one for making complaints about things.

However, the neighbours at the back of us have obviously just got a puppy during lockdown or Christmas and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with what I consider to be very inconsiderate behaviour. I wondered if others would think this is inconsiderate?

Whenever they let their dog in the garden it barks and barks with no attempt from them to correct it/call the dog inside. This is mildly irritating during the day but not too much of a problem. It's when they let it out about 10pm that I find it very inconsiderate. I ve been really tired recently and try to go to bed early to get extra sleep, I am just drifting off around 10pm only to be woken up by the dog barking. I then find it hard to drift back off and can't for some time so there goes my early night! The same in the morning, I am trying to have a nice lie in and the dog starts barking about 7.15 most mornings. I think 10pm is far too late to let your dog out and allow it to bark for a period of time, fortunately it doesn't wake the dcs but bet it does some other peoples. I just want to be able to have an early night sometimes without listening to that.

I am not good with confrontation so was thinking I would just post a polite letter through their door. I know it's tricky to stop a dog barking but they don't seem to make any effort, I don't think they go out with the dog and make no effort to call it back for try to calm it down.

Listening to dogs constantly barking is not reasonable noise and to be expected if you live in a built up area, presumably people suggesting it is have dogs that do this.Which is incredibly anti social.
I used to have a (rescue) dog that would bark at its own shadow, beyond letting her let of steam for a couple of minutes. I would certainly never have left her unattended to yap relentlessly for longer than that.
I think they might just be trying to train the dog to go outside, so it may settle down shortly. But if it’s carries on I would just go round and speak to them op, or if that is to frightening for you put a polite note through the door with the option to discuss it further with you, by including your house number.

Op I'm sorry but if you want silence then either move to the middle of nowhere or buy some ear plugs.
A dog barking for a couple of minutes at 10pm and 7am is not cause for making a complaint. Stop being so ridiculous!!!

Talk to them. Have a suggestion as to what works for you. There is no suggestion that the puppy is being badly treated, just you'd prefer an earlier evening runout for him/her.

There are laws about sounding reversing horns and 10pm is OK to sound them, even though it is beyond the watershed on tv.

@studychick81

Unless the baby is crying continuously in the garden early in the morning and late at night I don't think it's the same thing at all. You wouldn't hear it if it is in the house, the sound travels as it's in the garden. We don't live directly next to these people, their house is behind ours. Plus a baby can't be trained not to cry like a dog can not to be barking.

A puppy is effectively a baby! It takes time and patience for them to understand that barking isn't ok. 🙄

I've spoken to 3 different neighbours at three different houses we've lived at over the years about barking dogs. Each time the neighbour has responded well as I've been polite and the noise largely stopped. One was a young labrador left in an outside run all day, one was a very yappy Jack Russell. The latest one here is a labradoodle owned by a couple who let it bark all evening. Their garden backs on to ours so they are in a different street. When I went round I noticed the houses either side were for sale - I wonder why? I sent them a thank you note a few weeks afterwards as we hardly hear the dog now. We have dogs ourselves so nothing against dogs, just irresponsible owners.

@SoupDragon

I would just post a polite letter through their door.

Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a polite anonymous note. I think they always come across as arsey.

I agree. All puppies bark a lot, like babies cry. Put up with it a bit longer, it takes time to train a dog and if they are 'good parents', they will take the trouble to train it. 10pm is not too late for a dog to go out into the back garden and if it stops the incessant barking, it won't bother you. I can assure you if it is still barking its head off in six months you will not be the only one bothered by it and your neighbours will be aware that some drastic action is necessary but let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Anonymous note- arsey, aggressive and far more unpleasant than a dog having a last wee at 10pm.
You wanting silence when it suits you- ditto.

If they might have got the dog for Xmas, then it s only been going on a few days?

In england, people self isolating should not walk their dogs and only exercise them in the garden and the home. This is an actual nightmare and maybe what s been going on?

Our puppy used to bark at his shaddow and never really grew out of it, no matter how much training. How long do they let the dog bark outside?

Anonymous notes are nasty and cowardly. Speak to the neighbours in person.

How long is the dog barking for is the question if it’s a few minutes that’s normal and get ear plugs. Also how do you know it’s actually this dog as your in a built up area surely there are other dogs too.

if for awhile go round and ask if they can stay with their pup. Don’t do the note or if you have to sign it

Plus it not unreasonable between 7 and 10 for noise. Pain in the arse for excessive noise though.

Ok I will see what happens over the next few weeks with it. At the moment is seems like no effort is being made to train it with barking anyway.

I will not be going round there but will consider signing the note. I don't know these neighbours and they could be unreasonable and be abusive to me. I don't want to get myself in that situation. If they know where we live they could be threatening and I am not risking it as we have young dcs. Not everyone responds to complaints reasonably. Another neighbour started having a go at a young girl who had parked her car perfectly legally outside their house in the street. My DH had to go out and help her as they were being and abusive. I am not prepared to be on the receiving end of that potentially.

@studychick81

Unless the baby is crying continuously in the garden early in the morning and late at night I don't think it's the same thing at all. You wouldn't hear it if it is in the house, the sound travels as it's in the garden. We don't live directly next to these people, their house is behind ours. Plus a baby can't be trained not to cry like a dog can not to be barking.

A puppy is a baby! How long is it actually crying for? 10pm and 7am isn’t unacceptable times for a bit of neighbour noise. YWBU to post an anononous note it’s cowardly and petty.

Anonymous notes are cowardly, craven and twattish. YWBVU to send one - imagine the feeling of knowing one of your neighbours resents you and you don't know who? It would be horrible.

If you really can't face the prospect of a conversation, a note signed and with your address/phone number for them to respond is appropriate.

I don't really like dogs, but I don't think 10pm and 7am is unreasonable as long as it's not 20 minutes of solid barking as the owners ignore it.

Op, you’re clearly fighting for the note and saying things like don’t you have a right to sleep etc, and if it is a polite ask why don’t you just grow a pair and just talk to them politely? Atleast then they could perhaps tell you if there’s an issue, what they might try and do, apologise etc. You can both walk away feeling better (I appreciate this may not happen)

I just don’t get the anonymous note people seem to turn to

@SpiderGwen

Anonymous notes are cowardly, craven and twattish. YWBVU to send one - imagine the feeling of knowing one of your neighbours resents you and you don't know who? It would be horrible.

If you really can't face the prospect of a conversation, a note signed and with your address/phone number for them to respond is appropriate.

I don't really like dogs, but I don't think 10pm and 7am is unreasonable as long as it's not 20 minutes of solid barking as the owners ignore it.

Exactly- anonymous notes are like having a go at someone but not allowing them to respond ir give their side of the story.

If you want to make a point, at least allow them the decency of being able to respond and enter into a grown up conversation about it.

Anonymous notes just seem incredibly childish otherwise

You could contact the council about the noise. I have small yappy dogs each side of me. Both sides have received letters from the council recently and, low and behold, suddenly they don't leave their dogs out for hours on end and allow them to yap.

I didn't report either side although I was getting close to doing so. I know which neighbour reported one side as they told me they had but they say they didn't report the other side and they have no reason to lie.

The side that I don't know who reported used to put their small dog outside at about 8am and there he would stay until about 10pm just constantly yapping. They only took him in if they were going out!

The woman actually asked me if we had reported the dog. Of course I don't know if she believed me but I don't really care. At last there is peace during the day and the poor little thing is actually indoors in the warm and with his family. Quite why you would get a dog then never spend any time with it I don't understand especially as it is a lapdog type

I understand your frustration OP. There is a dog with a loud, deep bark that gets let out between 10 and 10.30pm every night near us. Most of the time I’m still awake but it pisses me off no end if I’ve happened to drift off! I get it needs a wee but it just seems allowed to bark and bark. I think it’s so unsociable!

We have a dog and let him out morning and eve but either take him out on the lead in the garden so he’s less likely to bark or call him in immediately if he does (on the rare occasion) let out a bark. I’ve thought about a anonymous note but don’t think it’s the right action as can be quite upsetting for the recipients to, however polite it is.

I’ve decided to either go round and speak to them nicely or live with it. Currently living with it but will go round if it starts driving me loopy!

Drop a note with your name and number and ask them to text you (or set up an email address especially to communicate with them?)
Or get someone to knock on for you?

The problem with anon notes is that the recipient can’t explain and thus there is no way to negotiate a path forward.
I got a very arsey note about my burglar alarm, but I’d only just moved in, and the reason it has gone off all the time was the previous occupant had metered electric, and the alarm thought the supply had been cut whenever they ran out of credit!
It was an easy fix, because I had the meter changed, but I couldn’t reassure them (and stop them from feeling needlessly grumpy at my house’s occupant!) whereas if they’d knocked on I could’ve given them a time frame for an end point, as well as reassuring them I would make sure I didn’t run out of credit in the lead up.

I resorted to writing a reply and sticking it to my front gate for everyone to read!

Much better if you can find a way to communicate that is two way, doesn’t have to be face fo face if that’s not your thing.

Just be aware that if you complain to the council about your neighbour you must declare that when you sell your house. It will be on record and if you dont declare it you could be sued buy the new owners.

I used to do community mediation and from the neighbour disputes I’ve been involved with i would advise against leaving an anonymous note. I would also advise against a signed note. They tend to put people on the defensive immediately even if they are in the wrong.

I would leave it a few weeks to see if the barking settles. If it doesn’t I really would recommend going round and being very polite. Introduce yourself and tell them you live next door. If the dog is there when they answer be friendly and complimentary about it. Then tell them you are finding the barking is waking you up and ask if they could bring the dog back in to the house once it’s done it’s Business.

If people have a name and a face it’s easier to see a neighbour as a real person not just a complaint on legs. If that person seems basically friendly rather than confrontational it’s easier to sort a problem out.

Irrelevant of time of day, I bloody hate when people dont even try to correct their dogs bad behaviour. There's a woman who brings her dog by my house every day and it jumps up my wall barking at my house whether it can see my dog or not. Not once has she ever told it no. I will be amazed if I make it through this pregnancy and having a young baby without shouting at her to shut her fucking rat up. So the first chance I get I will politely ask her to either avoid my house or teach her dog not to bark at my house.

Anonymous notes dont work, they always take the tone of condescension when read, just go ask them to please try to train the puppy while its young because you're struggling to sleep around the barking.

The dog could have owners who are self-isolating or have Covid so can't walk him. It's also not safe to have someone come around to pick him up for a walk.

My friend is in this situation right now and while the dog is normally a placid old thing, a week without a walk has turned him into a barking monster. He just needs to burn off energy with a walk.

So do consider how long the dog has actually been there - you seem unsure on that point - and consider if you are criticising sick or self-isolating people trying to do their best.

In all honesty they are very likely to just say it's a puppy it's still learning and expect you to deal with it while it grows up. So put a a note through or whatever but I'd be surprised if they gave a shit.

You could just put a note saying 'would it be possible to take your dog out on a lead for a wee so it's not barking early in the morning or at night, thanks X'. They might not even realise that it's bothering other people, at least that way they'd be aware.

Why should I not be able to have an option early night or a lie in because of their dog

Because they're not making excessive noise at unreasonable hours. It would be different if it was barking all night or if they were letting it out at 3am, but they're not. The most you can do is talk to them and hope they try to understand your point of view. You don't get to make the rules, or have rights to sleep through from 9.30pm until 7.30am. Whether you would do what they're doing is irrelevant. They are doing it.