To put a note through their door anonymously?

[studychick81]

We live in quite a built up area and have houses around the side and back of us so I am used to noise and know it's to be expected when you choose to live in a semi detached house. I am not one for making complaints about things.

However, the neighbours at the back of us have obviously just got a puppy during lockdown or Christmas and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with what I consider to be very inconsiderate behaviour. I wondered if others would think this is inconsiderate?

Whenever they let their dog in the garden it barks and barks with no attempt from them to correct it/call the dog inside. This is mildly irritating during the day but not too much of a problem. It's when they let it out about 10pm that I find it very inconsiderate. I ve been really tired recently and try to go to bed early to get extra sleep, I am just drifting off around 10pm only to be woken up by the dog barking. I then find it hard to drift back off and can't for some time so there goes my early night! The same in the morning, I am trying to have a nice lie in and the dog starts barking about 7.15 most mornings. I think 10pm is far too late to let your dog out and allow it to bark for a period of time, fortunately it doesn't wake the dcs but bet it does some other peoples. I just want to be able to have an early night sometimes without listening to that.

I am not good with confrontation so was thinking I would just post a polite letter through their door. I know it's tricky to stop a dog barking but they don't seem to make any effort, I don't think they go out with the dog and make no effort to call it back for try to calm it down.

In my experience, you do also become quite used to the noise and start to not hear it anymore.
I’d try mention it in person, say it’s waking the kids up at night. Hopefully they can nip it in the bus whilst it’s still a pup.

Nip it in the bud**!!

Grow a spine.

If you sent me an anonymous note it would get my back up and I wouldn’t change my behaviour at all. If you politely spoke to me it would.

But also I would argue 10pm
And 7.15 isn’t too early or late for a working person.

Talk to the neighbour non anonymously.

This!

My dog rarely barks but when he does, it's always when I've nipped to the loo and can't get there to stop him. He's a dick.

I'd go and have a word. If they ignore you then maybe you should start to let the DC outside early doors for a while. Let them make noise like only children do.

My quote didn't work sorry. I was responding to the poster who suggested shouting "Shut that dog up," out of the window.

I'm usually on the side of people with noise complaints, having experienced the hell of noisy neighbours who had parties until the wee hours complete with breaking bottles, shouting, and swearing in their back garden, they even told the council's noise control to f- off. But in this case, I'm confused. You have kids. Did anyone ever put an anonymous note about you "allowing" your kids to cry at 2am for milk when they were babies? You say they "just" got a puppy perhaps over Christmas, e.g. you didn't notice it before then. Surely you should give them a chance to train their dog and to learn how to handle it! If this is still going on in 6 months' time then maybe let them know. In the meantime, buy some earplugs as other pps have said.

Part of living close to others is dealing with "reasonable noise".
Barking at 10pm is not "unreasonable".

Now, if it was barking at 2am or throughout the night I'd totally agree with you but I think you are the one being unreasonable here.
You could choose to go to bed at 8pm and then demand complete silence- would that also be reasonable?

I also presume its not barking for hours but a few minutes whilst its seeing/pooping. You can of course put a note through the door but that is a very passive aggressive thing to do and could cause them just as much distress as you say the dog is causing you. You dont acknowledge this anywhere though do you?- that for you barking is upsetting, for them, getting a passive aggressive note might be just as upsetting.

At least have the decency to chat with them face to face rather than putting unpleasant anonymous notes through the door- thats very un-neighbourly.

My neighbour had a dog that she let outside and it would bark and bark to come back in.

I just downloaded the council noise app, recorded the barking and they sent a letter out to them. No barking since. It’s been bliss!

My neighbour put a note through her neighbours door to tell them their dog was barking a lot when left alone. She signed it which is why it maybe was taken okay. They are still terrible dog owners but at least it isn't barking all day.

Be an adult, sign it, be polite.

Just go and have a word. They are going to see you putting it through their letterbox, or someone else will. That’s just so cringe for you. Just own it.

It’s easy enough to say ‘just own it’ but you don’t know what the neighbours can be like, and does op really want to risk pissing them off and them knowing who she is/where she lives? If they’re not reasonable people it could lead to months/years of harassment.

@MerryChristmasToYou

Don't worry, they'll probably rehome the dog soon, once they realise that their cute untrained puppy is too much to handle.

Yes this might well happen. The house behind us had 2 dogs. They were constantly barking and if I went into my garden they would shoot out their dog flap and come charging down to the fence snarling, barking and jumping wildly up against it. (Not very big gardens.) They never ever called them back or told them to stop barking or tried to restrain them in any way. Luckily for me they seem to have gone! They’ve had their garden ‘made over’ now so I’m hoping that means they aren’t coming back.

We have a person who lets their dog out, does my head in. Starts early and barks all bastard day. Been going on months yappy little shit.

My dog, who is normally quiet, does appear to bark when let out for first and last wee, similar times to OP. I wouldn't have thought it was excessive-about a minute or two. Although we shout to her 'Maggie, stop she will stop but goes onto do it next time.

Tbh unless it was excessive ie all day, every day I would classify a dog barking in the same way as a baby crying ie normal household noise and part and parcel of living in an urban area.

A note through the door doesn’t have to be arsey, it can be worded as politely as possible detailing the issues with the dog barking. If you are not someone who handles confrontation over difficult issues easily I totally understand why you would take that option. Knowing who has a problem with your dog doesn’t change it, you still have a barking dog that is causing someone a problem. Particularly if you don’t know the neighbours by name then how does it make any difference? They will either be mortified or they won’t. Their direct neighbours possibly feel the same way but because they know them dare not say anything.

Whats with all the dog hate threads lately.

I have neighbours who do this. The dog barks around midnight and 6am to be let in. Why they can't fit a dog flap I don't know - a friend if mine has done this and her dog doesn't bark at all to go out or come in.

Get ear plugs. The times you've listed as being late or early, I really don't think they are. 10pm is not late.

I disagree with those who say an anonymous note will always come across rude. We got one during lockdown but it wasn’t meant for us (we hadn’t been making the noise the note claimed we had) so we just ignored it. But it was well written and very much along the lines of “hey neighbour, so sorry to be doing this over a note, we’re not good with face to face conversations, etc etc.”

We've had one like that, I actually went round when it was barking and said "I think your dog wants to come in", they said they hadn't heard it barking because they had the tv on. Anyway it solved the problem, they stopped leaving it out on its own.

Unless the baby is crying continuously in the garden early in the morning and late at night I don't think it's the same thing at all. You wouldn't hear it if it is in the house, the sound travels as it's in the garden. We don't live directly next to these people, their house is behind ours. Plus a baby can't be trained not to cry like a dog can not to be barking.

@NotPrude

I disagree with those who say an anonymous note will always come across rude. We got one during lockdown but it wasn’t meant for us (we hadn’t been making the noise the note claimed we had) so we just ignored it. But it was well written and very much along the lines of “hey neighbour, so sorry to be doing this over a note, we’re not good with face to face conversations, etc etc.”

Then I would ask: if the note was so polite and courteous and friendly, why didnt they put their name on it?

Unless you feel your physical safety is at risk, I cant stand people who want to snark at others but wont take responsibility for it. If youve written a perfectly polite note then why not say it was from you?
Equally, if you stay anonymous then why should anyone take notice of it? it could be a hoax or a wind up?

There is no justification for an anaonymous note. Either knock your neighbour's door & discuss it with them or sign your name and house number so they can come and talk to you. Through discussion you are most likely to reach an amicable compromise. Anonymous complaints create a battleground before you have given discussion a decent chance.