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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To put a note through their door anonymously?

275 replies

studychick81 · 02/01/2021 11:04

We live in quite a built up area and have houses around the side and back of us so I am used to noise and know it's to be expected when you choose to live in a semi detached house. I am not one for making complaints about things.

However, the neighbours at the back of us have obviously just got a puppy during lockdown or Christmas and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with what I consider to be very inconsiderate behaviour. I wondered if others would think this is inconsiderate?

Whenever they let their dog in the garden it barks and barks with no attempt from them to correct it/call the dog inside. This is mildly irritating during the day but not too much of a problem. It's when they let it out about 10pm that I find it very inconsiderate. I ve been really tired recently and try to go to bed early to get extra sleep, I am just drifting off around 10pm only to be woken up by the dog barking. I then find it hard to drift back off and can't for some time so there goes my early night! The same in the morning, I am trying to have a nice lie in and the dog starts barking about 7.15 most mornings. I think 10pm is far too late to let your dog out and allow it to bark for a period of time, fortunately it doesn't wake the dcs but bet it does some other peoples. I just want to be able to have an early night sometimes without listening to that.

I am not good with confrontation so was thinking I would just post a polite letter through their door. I know it's tricky to stop a dog barking but they don't seem to make any effort, I don't think they go out with the dog and make no effort to call it back for try to calm it down.

OP posts:
Stinkywizzleteets · 03/01/2021 20:57

I have a mentally ill dog who barks at every opportunity. It does our head in but we’ve had vets & trainers & behaviourists try to help all concluding she can’t be stopped. My alternative was to have an otherwise healthy dog put to sleep.

An anon note would not allow me to explain this to a complainer & it wouldnt change my dogs behaviour.

gerryk62 · 03/01/2021 21:02

The dog needs to do his no 2. at night so not to crap all over there cream carpets😂😂😂

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 21:03

@Otellie

Didn't you say it's like letting your kids out to play after 10?

No. I didnt say that.

Apologies. Il have to scroll back through but presumably it's a wrong tag.
Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 21:04

Sorry @Otellie it was a response to your post. I apologise.

@studychick81 my message was to you.

How is letting your child out to play after 10pm the same? The dog needs out to have the toilet in the garden which presumably your kids don't

Yayhelen · 03/01/2021 21:05

IMO, anonymous notes are not a good option.
It makes it seem that the sender either feels ashamed of the contents/feels they are not justified or is just a bit cowardly (please note, I am not saying that you are any of these things - it’s just open to that interpretation by the recipient).

If it bothers you that much then go and knock on their door and speak to them. This has the added advantage of putting them on the spot a bit and is not as easy to ignore. It also gives them a chance to explain why they feel it’s acceptable behaviour.

Good luck, hope you get somewhere.

Otellie · 03/01/2021 21:05

No problem.

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 21:06

@Otellie

No problem.
The being unable to quote a quote (and prosecco) causes kimchi endless problems Grin
Lastfreakinglegs · 03/01/2021 21:07

Anonymous notes are passive aggressive works if the devil. Have a bit of backbone and at least sign your name.

VinylDetective · 03/01/2021 21:11

@Lastfreakinglegs

Anonymous notes are passive aggressive works if the devil. Have a bit of backbone and at least sign your name.
Absolutely. You’ve got a tongue in your head, OP. Go and knock on their door and talk to them.
MrsBadcrumble123 · 03/01/2021 21:13

I hate the fact that others happily inflict annoyance on others and people think it’s ok?! I would go and speak to them to let them know you can hear their yappy dog. 7am would annoy me and 10pm would wake my kids up! Angry

Lavanderrose · 03/01/2021 21:13

Would be horrible to be on the receiving end of an anonymous note through the door. It’s a puppy,
Puppy’s bark.... it will learn not to. You need to ease up a little.

Eckhart · 03/01/2021 21:16

I hate the fact that others happily inflict annoyance on others and people think it’s ok

You're spurred to hate easily. The neighbours with the dog don't even know anyone is annoyed yet. Quite probably they think that their neighbours are decent enough to accept a bit of noise from a new puppy whilst it settles into its new home.

SueDeNimm · 03/01/2021 21:22

@MrsBadcrumble123

I hate the fact that others happily inflict annoyance on others and people think it’s ok?! I would go and speak to them to let them know you can hear their yappy dog. 7am would annoy me and 10pm would wake my kids up! Angry
Before you did that you might want to reflect on whether you have ever caused an annoyance or disturbance to others. And on whether you are overall a reasonable and tolerant person.
SueDeNimm · 03/01/2021 21:23

10pm is also well within the time limits for acceptable noise in society. Even for people with children.

ERFFER · 03/01/2021 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

earnshaw47 · 03/01/2021 21:30

i dont think having a word would work, surely they dont need to be told that their dog is barking, i`m not good at confrontation either , so, if it was me, i would push a note through their door anonymously

Otellie · 03/01/2021 21:43

The being unable to quote a quote (and prosecco) causes kimchi endless problems

Grin
CharlieBoo · 03/01/2021 21:48

YABU... how long do you expect the dog to go without a wee for? Dogs bark.. it’s a puppy. If was 2am then you’ve got a case. If someone knocked on my door with this as an issue then I think I’d laugh and I’m a reasonable person..

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 22:06

@ERFFER

Wheresmykimchi Eh? Eckhart , you need to chill mate.
Whats the eh for?
Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 22:06

@MrsBadcrumble123 presumably yours , and others on this threads children have never disturbed others

Eckhart · 03/01/2021 22:16

@ERFFER

Wheresmykimchi Eh? Eckhart , you need to chill mate.
Chill? Couldn't be more relaxed. I posted in the style you posted, to see if you could tell that it makes a person look a bit manic.

Clearly, you can tell Smile

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 22:19

@Otellie

The being unable to quote a quote (and prosecco) causes kimchi endless problems

Grin

Xmas Grin
Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 22:45

@ERFFER

Wheresmykimchi Eh? Eckhart , you need to chill mate.
I looked back

You said that babies and dogs are not comparable.

True , as a PP suggested calling the RSPCA and pretending they thought the dog was in danger but in sure they wouldn't suggest calling social services. In the same way PP suggested that they would soon get bored of the dog and send it back, Which no one would do with a child.

And you want to try and imply babies are getting the hard time being compared.

And I don't know how you can tell Eckhart FOH chill when they were imitating youGrin

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 22:45

*to

Dullardmullard · 03/01/2021 22:46

So have we clarified the pup is barking for a few minutes or hours because I don’t think @studychick81 has come back to say. Plus how do you know it’s their dog as I’ve asked already.

It’s natural for dogs to bark we curtail it as humans so it doesn’t cause offence to others. Most dog owners do not throw the dogs out to fend for themselves either.

7am and 10pm are normal times for first and last Wee’s for a puppy in fact you might find they are out there at 2 or 4 am as well as young dogs can’t hold it for long and don’t normally go a full night.

So have you done the note then. Did you sign it.

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