To feel disgusted with myself

[justatealot]

Name change as i'm so ashamed

i'm overweight by a lot, and i've decided that this year i will finally get in shape.
It's been a day into the new year and i've already binged at least 2000 calories with chocolate and crisps and sweets
I feel so pathetic.
Please help

Loads of good advice here. I was you 12 months ago. I love crisps, chocolates and biscuits and can put away a huge amount. I was almost exactly your size.

I had felt guilty and wanted to get healthier for ages. But I never quite got started. Then I accidentally did what others have suggested here. I decided to plan healthy meals, healthy distractions, to take control and it worked.

I made sure that I didn't buy my usual grazing supplies, and then aimed for the 8:16 idea, but not too strictly. Basically you try to reduce your eating to an 8 hour window. I also reduced carbs, so have a late breakfast - cereal and fruit at 11, then a light lunch with minimal carbs - usually cheese, biscuits, lots of celery and a banana at 2.30, then a normalish evening meal about 7. It worked for me, as long as I got through to 11 without eating. If I eat early, I get a lot more hungry during the day.

I do allow myself the odd biscuit (or glass of wine. One sin a day.) and if I am feeling too hungry I try to drink lots (sparkling water is good - the bubbles fill you up) or take myself off for a walk.

Although I have to say, I enjoyed discovering how to feel a bit hungry. It's an interesting feeling, as you realise it a) isn't the end of the world, to feel a bit hungry b) actually gives you something of an energy burst and c) helps you really feel as if you are losing weight. Hunger = I'm doing myself good!!

I was strict for the first two weeks and lost 2lbs a week +. I then allowed myself the odd treat, and lost more gradually at 1-2lbs a week, until I'd lost a stone. I took a pause then for winter - I've eaten more but pretty much maintained my weight (until December ) I plan to lose another 10lbs this year and have just started again. But is a positive starting - not cutting down, but planning what to put in.

Best of luck to you. What works for other people will not necessarily work for you, but reading the dieting threads here is good, as you will find little tips and tricks which seem to make sense.

Happy 2021

Today is a bad day, make today a better day. You’ve got this, be kind to yourself

The 2021 low carb boot camp starts soon, this method really works

• tomorrow

Some stark facts are that 95% of dieters regain the weight they lost within 5 years and 40% of those people gain more weight than when they started.

Isn't this 95% actually a myth from 50s?

1st is not a good day to start! I’m going to start on Monday, when my children should have been at school.

I’m starting Monday I would never start on a Friday 😘

Choose one thing to drop, like sugar. Go cold turkey on it, no sugar in drinks, no chocolate ,cakes etc. But you can have crisps, cheese, anything you like. Just no sugar.
Also, don't have it in your house.It'sh harder to resist temptation if you've got it lying around

I dont particulary agree with the first bit of advice. If the OP doesnt have much willpower, and on the face of things they dont, I can see them binging on whatever food group they are allowed.

I agree on buying less crap though. If its not in the house you cannot eat it.

With regards to other people who are saying start when you have got rid of your christmas snacks. I dont think this should be an open invite to eat all the crap you have in your house because you will only have to lose the weight again. If you are serious about losing weight then either give away the junk food or chuck it into the bin.

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Some stark facts are that 95% of dieters regain the weight they lost within 5 years and 40% of those people gain more weight than when they started.

Isn't this 95% actually a myth from 50s?

Yeh, this is nonsense. My weight fluctuates a bit but when I set out to lose weight, it always works.

I would recommend the @justatealot try dieting every second day for a while. It's psychologically a lot less oppressive.

Also, have you looked in to shame OP? I'm literally having my mind blown at the moment how the shame we can't address is to blame for everything we can't get right later in life. I'm reading Joseph Burgo Phd ''Shame'' and just read John Bradshaw's book shame.

Marisa Peer has very good material on youtube as well. Look up Marisa Peer on youtube.

Also dont do any crap like for example the cabbage soup diet etc or intermittent fasting. It does not teach you good nutritional habits and isnt going to help in the long run.

Build a nutrition plan eating mainly veg, lean meats, nuts, fruit, seed and some rice/pasta/potatoes. Try and cut out most processed shit and do a little exercise.

Do not try and overcomplicate something that is essentially rather simple.

OP, I never start resolutions on NYD - it's still holiday mode. Everyone is a bit hung over from toasting the new year and there are still sweets and treats around.

I'd start tomorrow. This evening, just chuck out any left over foods that trigger binges - sweets, biscuits etc that you don't even like that much, you just eat because they are there or were given to you. Put healthy foods at the front of the fridge within easy reach.

Your reaction to your decision to lose weight is very familiar. I used to tell myself to start a diet in the morning and by lunchtime I'd have eaten everything in sight. For me, it helped not to diet. I started by exercising for two weeks, four times a week for an hour's intensive bootcamp plus one walk a day. After two weeks, I cut down on bread and refined sugar - almost never eating either of them because they both trigger me to binge. But I never said I wasn't allowed them, only that I didn't want them because they made me binge. If I had them, I observed the bingeing and how uncontrollable it was and then next day noticed how controlled my appetite was if I avoided them. The focus is on self-care not self-denial.

Without the trigger binges it was easier to listen to my body and I started to only eat when hungry, so often skipped breakfast and just had coffee. I also stopped going back for seconds, even of healthy foods, and allowed myself to feel properly hungry between meals. I lost a stone by doing that, really easily, without dieting. It's stayed off, even though I went back onto bread and sugar throughout December. But this month I'll cut them out again along with dry Jan, as I want the weight loss to restart.

I also think when you start with weight loss, if it feels like denial it;s so hard, So create loads of non food treats in your life - treat bath and beauty products, treats of self care like journalling in lovely note books or motivational creating pinterest pages or following a positive affirmation meditation on You Tube (if any of those ar eyour sort of thing) or watching comedies and listening to your favourite upbeat music. If you consciously tell yourself you are treating yourself to these as a reward for getting through a difficult day or to self-soothe at a time you might otherwise eat emotionally, it sets up healthy patterns and habits.

Easier to say than do, but it all helps.

I have installed a free app called 'Done' and you can set a target to do/not do something each day. I've set up two targets on there for two foods I want/need to cut down on and then you click if you have done it or not and it gives you a simple display which shows if you've met the target and your streak of days met. Maybe that would help?

@70isaLimitNotaTarget

Lots of good advice on here OP. Today is not the best day to start anything like a diet .

But :
Don't buy the foods that you know are your weakness . Can you substitue chocolate for wine gums or marshmallows ? Not so easy to over indulge but still sweet
Hot chocolate drink instead of a bar of Dairy Milk

Discard the need to "treat" yourself or want something (through gritted teeth , I hate this phrase) "Naughty But Nice"

Break habits . Don't have a biscuit with your coffee or your favourite TV soap.
Don't eat standing up
Put everything on a plate - if you have to get a plate out and wash up /put away it might put you off

Have a glass of water - your brain will tell you you're hungry when you might be dehydrated .
Brush your teeth instead of eating a sweet

My personal mind trick- I hate hate hate chocolate lime . So if I drink Roses Lime Cordial or 7-Up I cannot have chocolate . The thought of chocolate + lime in my stomach makes me retch .

Great advice ^

Done screenshot. Nice and simple, nothing complicated to put you off.

Congrats OP, you’ve failed at an unrealistic attempt to lose weight. Now that this is out of the way you can get a plan for your success.

I am not an expert, but here are the things that helped me lose weight and keep it off now for more than a year now.

1. Make a food diary, nothing fancy, just a ratty old notebook or collection of loose papers will do. In fact don’t buy or use anything special for this.
2. Don’t change any habits, don’t give up any food, don’t try to do anything different.
3. Write down everything you eat and drink. Date, time, what was consumed, and your approximation of quantity or amount.
4. Do this for a week, start tomorrow when it’s not a holiday.

After a week...

1. Start your new week’s log. This time add measurements... weigh what you consume. Don’t change your habits. Just add the measurements.
2. At the end of the week do two things ...

A. Compare the first week to the second week. How accurate were your assumptions on the serving sizes after you measured them? Probably not that accurate if you’re like me. Did you pick up on some things that you overlooked from logging the first week? The spoon of sugar in your tea? That bite of food you had when your friend told you to try this fab dish? Great!

B. Have you noticed any patterns or habits? Maybe it’s the days you don’t eat breakfast, you have a ridiculously large lunch because you are starving? You are eating or drinking something out of habit- bag of crisps while watching tv before bed?

Week 3...
Sign up for MFP choose sedentary activity level and choose the absolute lowest rat of weight loss. Weigh and measure yourself and take a photo Trust me, you will want this later.

This time do your logging here, now is the scary part, you’re going to start seeing the calories. But now you are an old hand at logging, you’re being honest with yourself and you’ve gotten past the idea of a miracle weight loss idea.

Week 4... this is the fun part, this week you get to figure out what the easy things are. There will be something in your food choices that you can easily change or eliminate without any effort at all. Mine... I started using flavored soda water with my gin instead of tonic. Dead simple, tasted better, an eliminated 100 calories without missing a thing. I found other simple substitutions that meant absolutely nothing to me.

For this week you are going to reach your goal for the week, you’ll have good days and bad days, but you are concerned about the end of the week results, and you are using your daily goals as a tool to get you that weekly goal.

Week 5 and beyond... how are you doing? Getting the hang of this now? Hopefully you’ve noticed that you can still eat anything you want, you can have treats, you can have good days and bad, and still meet your goals. Now if you haven’t weighed yourself you might want to start doing this weekly. You’re going to have good days and bad days with this too... at some point your weight will go up ... do not beat yourself up about this... your weight will fluctuate from week to week...you’ll get stuck at a weight for weeks, you’ll have a week where it goes up, you’ll have some weeks where it goes down. How is it looking from month to month?

Now that you’ve tackled some of the easier things, maybe now you can try some of the harder things... emotional eating, habit eating, hormonal eating. Don’t cold turkey eliminate... manage them. Need chocolate, focus on quality vs. quantity... get one or two pieces of decadent chocolate and make a big deal about enjoying them. Sit down, put them on a plate, relax, enjoy them. Same with habit eating... do you zone out with a snack while scrolling on your phone? Put the phone down and enjoy the snack... put your head into it. Comfort eating? Do it! Just focus on it and log it. We comfort eat for a reason, it’s ok, it’s not the food itself, it’s usually the quantity.

At this point, you’re hopefully past the scary point between novelty and habit. Do you feel like you can do a little more? Accelerate your goal loss for awhile, add in some exercise, find non food ways to treat yourself.

Have you noticed that this is a long drawn out process? It is, there’s no hurry to lose weight, you don’t need to do it fast, nobody gets extra points for quick weight loss. Seriously the people who have had the most and sustained loss have figured this out. That is the biggest and most boring secret out there.... forget fads, forget quick, don’t listen to anyone else (yes I caught the irony of this statement) figure out what works for you and keep at it even after you stumble.

If you are serious about losing weight then either give away the junk food or chuck it into the bin.

I find this advice problematic because it's not me that buys the stuff. It's DH. Family packs of crisps every other day! Chocolate biscuits, really fatty crackers for cheese. His argument is: don't eat them if you want to lose weight but that is hard if you are on restricted calories and really hungry. I find it easier to resist junk other people bring into the house if I'm 'healthy eating' rather than dieting.

@justatealot

Name change as i'm so ashamed

i'm overweight by a lot, and i've decided that this year i will finally get in shape.
It's been a day into the new year and i've already binged at least 2000 calories with chocolate and crisps and sweets
I feel so pathetic.
Please help

OP - This time last year I was exactly the same as you. I said every SINGLE day that this would be THE day that I would start and I never did. Then something shifted in my head I think (but that wasn't til May!). I downloaded the Lose It app and it honestly changed my whole outlook on how much I was eating - not really what I was eating because I eat pretty healthily in normal circumstances but my portion control was my problem. I've lost almost 3 stone since May just keeping track on how much I'm eating and I haven't found it particularly difficult. I'm not saying that app is the best one for you, but it works for me.

Over the last couple of weeks I've eaten far more than I normally would but I'll get back on it on Monday and I've planned my meals for the next week, which I always find helps me. Good luck OP, you can do this, you really can.

@Labobo

OP, I never start resolutions on NYD - it's still holiday mode. Everyone is a bit hung over from toasting the new year and there are still sweets and treats around.

I'd start tomorrow. This evening, just chuck out any left over foods that trigger binges - sweets, biscuits etc that you don't even like that much, you just eat because they are there or were given to you. Put healthy foods at the front of the fridge within easy reach.

Your reaction to your decision to lose weight is very familiar. I used to tell myself to start a diet in the morning and by lunchtime I'd have eaten everything in sight. For me, it helped not to diet. I started by exercising for two weeks, four times a week for an hour's intensive bootcamp plus one walk a day. After two weeks, I cut down on bread and refined sugar - almost never eating either of them because they both trigger me to binge. But I never said I wasn't allowed them, only that I didn't want them because they made me binge. If I had them, I observed the bingeing and how uncontrollable it was and then next day noticed how controlled my appetite was if I avoided them. The focus is on self-care not self-denial.

Without the trigger binges it was easier to listen to my body and I started to only eat when hungry, so often skipped breakfast and just had coffee. I also stopped going back for seconds, even of healthy foods, and allowed myself to feel properly hungry between meals. I lost a stone by doing that, really easily, without dieting. It's stayed off, even though I went back onto bread and sugar throughout December. But this month I'll cut them out again along with dry Jan, as I want the weight loss to restart.

I also think when you start with weight loss, if it feels like denial it;s so hard, So create loads of non food treats in your life - treat bath and beauty products, treats of self care like journalling in lovely note books or motivational creating pinterest pages or following a positive affirmation meditation on You Tube (if any of those ar eyour sort of thing) or watching comedies and listening to your favourite upbeat music. If you consciously tell yourself you are treating yourself to these as a reward for getting through a difficult day or to self-soothe at a time you might otherwise eat emotionally, it sets up healthy patterns and habits.

Easier to say than do, but it all helps.

I love the idea of treating yourself to something nonedible, such a positive thing to do I got some gorgeous Elemis rose scented cleanser and shower creme for Christmas (thanks DH), they are such a pleasure to use because they fill my senses. Eating delicious food is not the only way to experience pleasure and we must remember that.

OP I had a few false starts. A few ‘I’ll start on Mondays’ and a fair few binges followed by guilt.

Then I lost 7 stone and maintained it through a marriage and 2 babies (currently in my second pregnancy). My point is ‘one bad day does not mean you’ll never achieve your goal’, put a bad day behind you and reset! You havn't asked for advice but I’m gonna offer it anyway!

• If you’re very large don’t try to crash diet! Just cut 500 calories off your current daily intake you’ll still see great results and are less likely to binge. Dropping from 3000+ calories a day to 1500 is NOT going to end well!

• Stock up loads of veggies and batch cook pasta/rice dishes that are 60% veggies. Don’t go hungry. Same goes for fruit. Make your own crumbles with much less sugar and added oats (works wonders if you’re a sweet tooth).

-Invest in a good set of digital kitchen scales! Guessing portions is your biggest enemy! Weigh everything out. Batch cooking is great for this!

• It’s ok to make up 50% of your daily calories in crap some days. Seriously, 3 Mars bars not the end of the world just don’t exceed the daily amount!

• Ditch pointless calories. Switch butter for low calorie spread, cut out sweet drinks for sugar free cordial, cook with low fat oil/sprays and no sugars in teas/coffee. Limit salad dressings, pesto, cheese, anything you add to stuff as a garnish and don’t really account for! (Sauces like ketchup and BBQ tend to be good low calorie substitutes).

• Get busy (hard in covid but try) get out and about, do as much as possible. Take on projects in the house, anything to distract you from snacking!

I feel you OP. I've put on a stone and half at least (too scared to weigh myself) in lockdown despite saying I'd come out of this fitter and slimmer.

Well I'm fatter, flabby, my chin has a new pal and I have a bloated drinkers belly which actually hurts due to overindulgence and drinking wine like it'll run out. I'm appalled at how I've really let myself go as I'm little (or was) so every lb is really noticeable.

Tonight, I'm going to have my last little hurrah like a PP and order a curry and have my last glass of wine. Begin to intermittent fast over the weekend and ease myself into re-starting properly from Monday (Fast 800) for me. I will also re-start couch to 5k and I'm aiming to make a real dent by March at the earliest, rather than expect a change in a week like I do with most diets. This is long term.

We can do this, you aren't alone.

I too had this mind set and most definitely have eaten more than I should have.

However tomorrow is a new day and getting it out the house is beneficial.

We could start a weight loss thread on a different chat board and keep each other company?

Treat yourself with some kindness OP.

Apologies if this has already been recommended, but I am currently reading “Feel great, lose weight” by Dr Rangan Chatterjee and it’s very good. It is not a diet book, it’s about looking after yourself and achieving good health, and by doing this you will lose weight if you want to. There isn’t a diet plan in it or anything but does talk a lot about our relationship with food which is something I have always struggled with.

That is me for the past few weeks. I'll start tomorrow, definitely need to do something. It never happens, I'm ashamed to say.

You're not pathetic. You know what, life is really hard right now and will continue to be for at least two months. Honestly I wouldn't try anything until things have eased up a bit, the weather's better etc.

I've always thought January is the worst time for anyone to change diet, exercise etc because it's dark, cold, miserable and you want comfort food. Far easier to leave for spring/summer and also for the general world situation to hopefully have improved a bit.

I have 1 day a week when I am off (kind of credit from other days) and it's really good when it comes to control of cravings.
I know that I will have this and that if I want to and that makes me not obsessing. I even realised that my choices on the free day are much better than before! No binging, no overdoing it for the sake of not overdoing it.

Also I zigzag calories. That's what I think it's called. I watched my natural eating pattern and found days when I am less hungry and days when I am more hungry and split calories accordingly. So, for example (random numbers) 1000, 1500, 800, free day, 1200, 1600, 1200.

You will find what works for you. Just remember that you can have something you fancy, just have a bit of it. My weakness is cheese so I make sure to keep some cals for bit of it😁