AIBU to think that the majority of people on here are middle class and high earners?

[Kaylasmum49]

Just curious.

Why is being middle class and a high earner a bad thing, worthy of lots of snarky comments about Agas and cleaners? There are also lots of people from other backgrounds on MN. The way it's spoken about on here, it's like 'how dare people have more money than me'? We all live in different circumstances and where people have more than me, I just think aren't they lucky. I don't feel any need to try and make them feel bad for having a privileged life.

I think there is a mix on here. I like a mix. I do not like PLU thinking at all, from anyone.

Hopefully some of the people who look down on and stereotype supermarket workers and so on will be having their perceptions and prejudices challenged in these strange times. Our delivery driver this week usually works as a pilot for a major airline, for example. He's enjoying the mix of people at his new work too, colleagues and customers.

" If the average first time mum here is in her 30s and 40s, she would have 10 years of earning before kids, that puts her in a different bracket to someone who had kids in early 20s- i see that a lot on netmums, not as much on Mumsnet."

Possibly if they're middle class career women. In a lot of normal jobs you're income doesn't change that much by age. You don't earn more on a checkout in your 30s than you did in your 20s and you may not have earned enough to be able to save either.
The difference between Netmums and Mumsnet might be a class one rather than an age one, age of first baby also being linked to class of course.

"Why is being middle class and a high earner a bad thing, worthy of lots of snarky comments about Agas and cleaners?"

It's not, but the assumption that it's normal does grate on me. When people try to claim that something really expensive is cheap or accessible to most people it's a bit annoying. Like 'my skin's a bit dry' and the answer is 'get some creme de mer'.
Or the idea that 30k is a low income when it's higher than average.
Some of the rich people on here are out of touch with reality.
I also once saw 'don't you have a guest room?' as if they couldn't believe someone only had the number or rooms they needed in their house.

@MrsMcTats it's not a bad thing but some people here can be a bit ignorant about the real world. There's always people on threads who pop up with comments like "hire a cleaner/nanny" as if it's something everyone can just afford.

It's the how much do you earn threads that do my box in.

No one ever says I work in asda and get 11k a year

It's all

Corporate lawyer, big 3 (or whatever its called), niche position, 2 PhDs, 100k a year, dh on double that, work 70 hours a week.

I'm like yawning at them all

Or "go to couples counselling" on the relationships board. Private counselling costs a bloody fortune.

I do live rurally.
I'm a SAHM.
Both DH and I are working class.
Husband is a high earner.
I don't have an AGA. I'd like one though
I don't have a Nanny, but I am looking for a part time one.

Pic from bedroom window for proof of rural location.

I would say no but then I consider high earners around £100k or more

If you are defining high earners as earning over £40k joint income then there probably are a lot of people in that bracket

I'm a single care assistant & earn less than £1k a month.

But also earnings and "class" are two different things.

@sst1234

Why is there so much disbelief at anyone claiming to be a high earner? Why must it be that they are liars and fantasists? It’s a very bizarre attitude from mners towards high earners. It should be applauded and encouraged that people share their stories with others and give good advice so others can follow too.

This 💯! People can get stuck and think there’s no way to earn more or make a better life for themselves, but it’s inspiring to hear stories from those who have been successful.

Agreed. I'm not sure why people conflate the two.

Oops. Forgot to quote.

@AliceinBunniland

But also earnings and "class" are two different things.

Agreed.

Yes, Molton Brown is t the only acceptable toiletry gift here.

For every thread from a woman who is financially dependent on her partner, we need one from a high earning woman who tells everyone about the effort and trade offs she has to make to be successful.
Unless and until parents teach their daughters that being driven by money is not crass and being financially independent should be a bigger priority ahead of starting a family, the types of threads from dependent women will continue to be a wake up call about the biggest thing holding women back.

Depends what you call a higher earner really. I come from a very working class family but have a job where I earn well - never know really what class to put myself in.

Same here.

@sst1234

Those that don’t think high earners exist and that everyone on MN must be lying, do you live in a cave? Do you have none of the following in your towns and cities - high school headteachers, GPs and hospital consultants, medium sized business owners, corporate managers, established tradespeople? Who do you think is doing these jobs? Do you never drive past nice houses in your town, who do you think lives there, lottery winners? What do you think high earners look like? Unicorns?

The issue isn’t that we don’t believe anyone earns a decent middle class salary. It’s that we don’t believe many people are SAHMs to city bankers or business owners earning millions of pounds a year. And yes, they always post braggy threads wondering whether they should buy a second chalet in Verbier, or experiment with Chamonix. Like anyone genuinely wondering that would turn to the internet and not their property broker.

The people on here who I think are exaggerating are the second group, not the first. I’m in the first group myself.

@sst1234

For every thread from a woman who is financially dependent on her partner, we need one from a high earning woman who tells everyone about the effort and trade offs she has to make to be successful. Unless and until parents teach their daughters that being driven by money is not crass and being financially independent should be a bigger priority ahead of starting a family, the types of threads from dependent women will continue to be a wake up call about the biggest thing holding women back.

Yes!!

I don’t think anyone is claiming that all of MN’s high earners are fantasists or liars.

But of course some of them will be - this in an online forum.

@sst1234

For every thread from a woman who is financially dependent on her partner, we need one from a high earning woman who tells everyone about the effort and trade offs she has to make to be successful. Unless and until parents teach their daughters that being driven by money is not crass and being financially independent should be a bigger priority ahead of starting a family, the types of threads from dependent women will continue to be a wake up call about the biggest thing holding women back.

Being driven by money isn’t the same thing as being financially independent, or ambitious, or even intelligent. Why do we have to valorise the first? I don’t really have a time for all the 20-something Oxford grads in my year who piled into investment baking, for instance. It’s boring and predictable.

The forum is teeming with threads of people expressing anxiety and insecurity about the wealth of others. Focusing less on money is no bad thing (again, financial independence is a different topic).

Investment banking* (I prefer baking tho)

Yes but depending where you live this isn’t that unusual. I’m from a low income background but now most people I know are similar or higher income - graduates in professional jobs mostly from middle class families. However £100k salary for a household doesn’t go so far in these areas so doesn’t look as wealthy as you’d imagine. A three bed semi for £1m isn’t impressive. It’s depressing. And £100k won’t get two kids through private school either unless you’ve had significant help/inheritance to buy a house. Or bought many years ago. There’s lots of much older parents, particularly dads due to this need for wealth to live in those areas.

It’s polarising. Like many aspects of society these days.

@Lucidas

While you express a nice sentiment, the reality is that poverty and happiness are not compatible. Honestly, girls (and boys) need to be taught to aim higher, because warm, fuzzy happiness follows financial stability, it doesn’t precede it.