Aibu to have a third?!

[Whynothaveathird]

I have two beautiful healthy dc, a boy and a girl.

Ever since my youngest was born, I’ve had more comments than I can count along the lines of ‘you’re done now, you’ve completed the set, one of each’ etc etc.

I’ve always wanted three/four children. Now we have two, I’m 100% not ‘done’ yet but don’t think I could do a fourth.

Everyone I’ve mildly corrected about my plans for a third has either been shocked, bemused, or genuinely curious that I would feel the need to have more. We are financially, emotionally, physically fine etc. And yes I know I’m lucky - not a day goes by that I don’t think how lucky I am to have the children I do - but why on Earth would that make me feel I need to stop?

Am I really bu to have a third?

Ps I’m totally having a third, just want to sense check quite how mad the hive thinks I am 😂

Almost all of my neighbours with children have 3. Some have more. Look at how many celebs have 3. It seems to be some sort of new trend

If your confused just google the birth rate. Lots of your neighbours & celebs are not representative of millions!

You have replaced yourself and your husband there is no need for further children the planet is over populated as it is

How does that work the, the UK has an aging population. We need young people who can work & pay tax. I have 1 siblings who doesn't want dc, can I take their "allowance"?

Birth rates are declining in the western world generally because life is expensive & women are more educated, work & have more independence.

I’ve always wanted three/four children

Why?
How old are the children you already have?
Have you read the education threads where posters are complaining about the expense of having lots of children at school?
Friendship issues x 3
Relationship issues x 3
Expensive teenagers x 3
GCSEs x 3
A levels x 3
UCAS x 3

Can I suggest you look at the real cost of having three children, and I don't mean financial cost, but emotional cost.

But to me it just seems to be placing women more firmly at home as childcare or wrap around care for 3 is expensive. Making women less independent and creating more pressure at home. Meaning working out of the home is harder. So I don't know why you would want to do this to yourself.

People have different circumstances though, if I wanted another it wouldn't impact on my career (which I love) & childcare is affordable for us.

Despite what some people say, there is no way you can give 3 the same attention you can 2

Can you make a blanket statement like that? Surely it depends on a number of factors eg any needs, parents working pattern, age gaps, family support. I never felt I missed any attention at home.

I thought I was done after 2
Couldn't handle not having a 3rd when it came to it
Swore I was done
Now he's here and just turned 1 I'm so bloody broody for number 4! Told dp I'm deffo not done yet but it's on hold for a few years but still not done
They are all so good with each other. I just love the madness and the way they all play and laugh with each other.
Never a dull or quiet moment and I couldn't ask for anything better
Plus the other kids help me with the baby if my hands are full that's also a bonus haha even if it's not much help they will always throw a dummy in or a bottle or do a dance make him laugh haha xx

Just to add - bigger beds should be invented though hahaha movie nights in bed aren't comfy at all with 3 kids star fishing .... 🙃

My sister has 6
My dad is one of 7
I'm one of 3
I love big family's
Christmas is so busy and magical (not 2020 though) !!! Xx

@finkking

You have replaced yourself and your husband there is no need for further children the planet is over populated as it is

How does that work the, the UK has an aging population. We need young people who can work & pay tax. I have 1 siblings who doesn't want dc, can I take their "allowance"?

My sis has 3 but with 2 men so it that permissable because they've replaces themselves? The men had no more children.

My other sis has 1 so I've had her spare one

I have two- two boys and I'm done. I'm still young (just turned 30) but will be seeking permanent sterilisation. I get lots of comments about a third because I have two boys but no way could my mental health cope and to be honest, they cost a fortune and take up all your time. My two are very close and I would hate to destroy that balance. For our family, I know we are doing the right thing.

@SleepingStandingUp sounds fair to me!

@Plussizejumpsuit I work full time, having a third wouldn’t change that for me personally

@Ginfordinner 4 and 2.

I’ve already said finances are not an issue.

Yes, three sets of those issues are potential disadvantages. But then I would also say, having grown up in a larger family, that there more siblings there are, the more fun, laughter, love, support and just plain people to rely on there can be too.