Ex didn't message the day of funeral ..aibu to be upset?

[maxxyboy]

My ex and I broke up in January but remained friends.
Spoke all the time and still got on well.
He was a prick sometimes but I just looked past it.
My grandma died in December and she brought me up and was a mum to me.
Anyway he said he was sorry etc then started being a bit nasty to me.
Anyway we had a argument two days before funeral.
The day after I apologised and said I was under a lot of pressure and was upset and felt like my world was falling apart (I wasn't even in the wrong but I always apologise to him as he never does )
Anyway he read it and no reply.
The day of her funeral arrived and no message.
I text after the funeral saying "that was so hard,I really don't know what to do now"
He read it and ignored
Never spoke since
Aibu to be hurt ?

Forget the idiot. Ex or not, if he cared he would have replied. Focus on your grandma.

He is your ex, he's not your friend. Your not with him for a reason.

Let him go. It's time to leave him behind.

Sorry for your loss.

He’s an ex.

Just move on.

If he's now your ex I think you need to move in and get emotional support from someone else. Sorry about your Grandma

*move on

He’s not your friend. Move on.

When we lose someone we are often angry. Him sending you a message or not won't suddenly make him a nice person (which it sounds like he isn't) or really make you feel better. Do you have friends who genuinely care about you that you could rely on instead?

Well you feel how you feel, but you had broken up & by your own words he's a prick sometimes.

I think that you were maybe expecting too much of an ex of almost a year who is also a prick!

What are you hoping for by keep engaging with him?

Sorry about your Grandmother.
A friend would have reached out - he isn't your friend he is your ex. Expect nothing from him going forward and you won't be disappointed. I am sorry that you did not have the support when you needed it.

Sorry for the loss of your Grandma but I'm also learning not to give my feeling to people who don't care about them and won't look after them x

He's your ex, not your friend. Block him and move on.
Sorry for your loss

I think it's because I'm always supportive of him.
Two weeks before my grandma passed away he lost his job and I was supporting him
Looking for jobs for him,helping him write out covering letter etc
So I just expected the same support back I guess.

@diddl I just don't like to loose people from my life who have been important to me.
I wanted him in my life still

I’m sorry for your loss but please for your own sake, stop messaging him, stop trying to get him to show you any care at all. He is showing you that he doesn’t give a fuck. He’s your ex not your friend.

He’s not the place where you should be looking for support. Stop apologising to him and chasing for crumbs that you won’t get, it allows him to keep controlling you.

Make 2021 the year you focus on yourself, not him.

Why are you doing all that for him?

No way would I do that for an ex.

Move on. Have nothing to do with him.

Sorry for your loss Op, but he’s ex, he’s not your boyfriend he’s not the one you can lean on anymore.

Hope you’re ok op and have someone you can talk too.

It’s a year ago.
You need to let this go. You’re tangling up all of your grief. Don’t do that to yourself.

There's nothing wrong with being friends with an ex... but it sounds like this wasn't a good solid friendship at any point? Do you even think he's a good, caring person? Who ended the relationship?

No it's December just gone.
A few weeks ago not last December.
I did it as we still speak and he was down about loosing his job and asked me to help him..so me being me did it.

I understand that you dont want to lose people. If your gran brought you up it sounds like you've had a lot of loss in your life already. But this man is better off lost, you can find nicer people than him to support you.

sorry about your gran. That must be so hard.

[quote maxxyboy]@diddl I just don't like to loose people from my life who have been important to me.
I wanted him in my life still [/quote]
Ok.

Well that's strange to me.

But at the end of the day you can't force someone to stay in your life & he obviously doesn't want to.

I hope you can find some support irl, Op.

@mistletoeandsigh no he isn't,he's a bit of a narcissist(that's why we broke up actually )
I just thought he was changing and becoming more caring.

If he’s a narcissist he will never change and he will drink you dry. And throw you out when you are no longer useful to him.