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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can you love a dog as much as a child?

490 replies

Bluemooninmyeyes1 · 31/12/2020 23:11

I’m not a dog owner and I don’t have children so I’m pretty clueless on this subject but genuinely interested! I work with someone who talks about her dog more than her own daughter and is constantly posting photos of her dog on social media.

So..is it possible to love your dog as much as your kids?

YABU- You cannot love a dog as much as a child

YANBU- You can definitely love a dog as much as a child

OP posts:
helloxhristmas · 31/12/2020 23:12

Well I love my dog and I love my kids. If I had to save one or other from a Burning building it would be the kids.

KeepOnKeepingOnKeepingOn · 31/12/2020 23:14

I love my dog - he's wonderful and I'd be lost without him. But I don't have children so difficult to compare...

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 31/12/2020 23:14

Why does it matter to you?

Loving someone doesn't mean you have less love left for someone else, love is not a finite resource.

thistimelastweek · 31/12/2020 23:15

I couldn't love a dog more than my children. Not even close.

But I could love my dog more than some other people's children.

WunWun · 31/12/2020 23:16

No, definitely not.

WorraLiberty · 31/12/2020 23:16

I work with someone who talks about her dog more than her own daughter and is constantly posting photos of her dog on social media.

That's no indication that she loves her dog as much as her child though is it?

Imapotato · 31/12/2020 23:18

I love my dogs. But if it was a choice of saving the kids or them, then it’s no contest, it would be the kids. Well most of the time.

Terracottasaur · 31/12/2020 23:18

I’ve loved deeply every pet I’ve ever had, but nothing comes close to touching the love I have for my son. They simply aren’t comparable feelings.

SinkGirl · 31/12/2020 23:18

Not a chance. I understand it more when people don’t have children, but those who seem to care more about their dogs than their kids (I’ve met a few) give me the wiggins.

Maypole245 · 31/12/2020 23:20

No. But love for a pet can be far less complicated, and therefore easier to talk about.

Nettleskeins · 31/12/2020 23:21

No
I do love my dog though.
I think dogs depend on us like small children do, and so there is that protective feeling and delight in their exploits, the wonder of which tends to wear off with teens...
Whereas a dog can just gambol across a muddy field or wave its paws in the air and you think wow just wow!
Whereas if DD aged 18 ran across a field I wouldn't smile with inexpressible joy. Aged two maybe.

Original poster
Bluemooninmyeyes1 · 31/12/2020 23:21

I know it’s not really relevant to my OP but I do have a pet cat and I can honestly say I would put her above some family members!

OP posts:
Candlesticking · 31/12/2020 23:23

@WorraLiberty

I work with someone who talks about her dog more than her own daughter and is constantly posting photos of her dog on social media.

That's no indication that she loves her dog as much as her child though is it?

Exactly. Her dog can’t object to being plastered all over her social media, for one thing.
Unspeakably · 31/12/2020 23:23

No, I don't think so. Well, maybe some people do, but I'd say it's unusual or maybe even abnormal. I suppose if you don't have children, it would be a bit like saying you loved your dog as much as you loved your mum or your baby sister or your best friend or someone else you love a lot, who is human. Most people value human lives and connections over animals. I had dogs for many years and loved them a lot, but if you'd said "I'll shoot your dog or your mum / sister..." / actually, even a vague acquaintance who was human, I'd pick the dog. I can't believe anyone would choose otherwise.

Nettleskeins · 31/12/2020 23:23

And I wouldn't post a pic of my DD whereas dog...just might.
Is it a privacy thing?

Iootraw1 · 31/12/2020 23:23

Yes!!! Love is love. Many people consider a dog as more just a pet. They can also be your best friend.

Happylittlethoughts · 31/12/2020 23:23

I just voted YABU ...BUT just considering how little some people love or respect their kids, then I guess some people DO definitely love their dogs as much or more.
If you are considering normal/ very loving parents then ...never could a pet compete.

Twistiesandshout · 31/12/2020 23:24

No chance. The love I felt for my children from the second I met them is universe shifting.

MistleTOEboughski · 31/12/2020 23:24

Not sure about my dc but I love my ddog as much as my dh. As Cat Stevens sang I love my dog as much as I love you, You may fade my dog will always come through.

Frolicinameadow · 31/12/2020 23:25

They’re very different types of love imo.
I love my children so much it takes my breath away at times. But I don’t post pictures of them on social media because they’re too young to consent and understand it, I also don’t know enough about who owns the photos once they’re posted.
However, I lost my beloved dog a few years ago and I won’t lie, I’m still heart broken over it. I’ve sought grief counselling because the loss was so great. He was literally my best friend. There is nothing I wouldn’t have done for him. He loved me and my children endlessly and was so patient and gentle with them. I know to some they are just pets or animals but to me and my husband and kids he was family. He never slept outside, he had his own chair and he was just all round a great boy.

SamVimesFavouriteDragon · 31/12/2020 23:25

I couldn't, but my mum does GrinAngry

Unspeakably · 31/12/2020 23:25

If we're going to get into it; if you loved and respected animals as much as a human, you probably wouldn't purchase one.

rorosemary · 31/12/2020 23:26

@Bluemooninmyeyes1

I know it’s not really relevant to my OP but I do have a pet cat and I can honestly say I would put her above some family members!
Me too but a child is so much more than that. Having my child has given my life a focus and is the only really important thing in my life. I'd never thought that I would say or think that before I had her. I had a really nice life with lots of people that I love. It's just that my biology has determined that nothing compares. I can't explain it properly enough.
EmmaGrundyForPM · 31/12/2020 23:28

I adore my dog. But there's no way I Iove him as much as I love my (adult) children.

saraclara · 31/12/2020 23:30

My friends regretted having kids. They loved them, and were decent enough parents, but parenthood wasn't what they'd expected.
They had no photos of their kids around the house, but they did have two huge photo canvases of their dogs on the main wall of their living room. I found that a bit...uncomfortable.