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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can you love a dog as much as a child?

490 replies

Bluemooninmyeyes1 · 31/12/2020 23:11

I’m not a dog owner and I don’t have children so I’m pretty clueless on this subject but genuinely interested! I work with someone who talks about her dog more than her own daughter and is constantly posting photos of her dog on social media.

So..is it possible to love your dog as much as your kids?

YABU- You cannot love a dog as much as a child

YANBU- You can definitely love a dog as much as a child

OP posts:
NuniaBeeswax · 01/01/2021 22:55

Radical concept but you can love more than one thing at a time. Just because someone loves their dog doesn't mean they'd laugh as your child was trapped in a burning building on a deserted island surrounded by wild bears or whatever stupid scenario we're going with.

Can you love a dog as much as a child?
BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 01/01/2021 22:56

The dug will go hunting and will bring us squirrels and will sit by my side while my child gently nibbles on some squirrel ribs.

My dogs would probably just sunbathe ! 🤣

MessAllOver · 01/01/2021 22:57

@NuniaBeeswax. No, but they'd probably prefer you to eat your child and leave their dog alone.

Yohoheaveho · 01/01/2021 22:58

I once knew a woman who loved her dogs more than her child
hopefully the child has broken free and 'mommie dearest' is happy with her doggies
the doggies will be taking her to hospital appts, helping her with daily living as she gets increasingly frail etc.
After all she cared for those doggies now it's their turn to care for her!

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 01/01/2021 23:02

the doggies will be taking her to hospital appts, helping her with daily living as she gets increasingly frail etc.
After all she cared for those doggies now it's their turn to care for her!

Well if you’ve had kids and expect them to look after you in old age, personally I think that’s wrong.

Yohoheaveho · 01/01/2021 23:18

personally I think that’s wrong
yer but.... underlying point is that humans are generally more useful, better at problem solving etc, after all we build cities we have science, dentistry, and art etc
dogs are amusing and entertaining but I prefer to have humans on my team

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 01/01/2021 23:42

underlying point is that humans are generally more useful,

I didn’t have kids because they’d be ‘useful’ to me.

CounsellorTroi · 01/01/2021 23:45

@Yohoheaveho

personally I think that’s wrong yer but.... underlying point is that humans are generally more useful, better at problem solving etc, after all we build cities we have science, dentistry, and art etc dogs are amusing and entertaining but I prefer to have humans on my team
Dogs can be trained to sniff out anything - drugs, explosives, diseases, signs of arson, humans buried in earthquakes, bodies. They can be hearing dogs, guide dogs, can sense if their owner is going to have an epileptic fit, help to catch criminals. They are actually quite useful.
213Milne · 01/01/2021 23:47

@Yohoheaveho

personally I think that’s wrong yer but.... underlying point is that humans are generally more useful, better at problem solving etc, after all we build cities we have science, dentistry, and art etc dogs are amusing and entertaining but I prefer to have humans on my team
I am jarred by your comment on dogs/ animals and think that you're not as wise as you think you are.

Going by your argument which is off tangent... The question is not how dogs (or indeed any animal) think or be amusing to you. It's whether they can feel.

Humans built cities and evolved art not because they were capable but because "civilisation" grew as a concept. Empathy towards animals is on a higher level of civilised thinking, not lower. Just refer to any great historical figure or philosophical quote aboit treatment of animals.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 01/01/2021 23:48

This thread is bonkers.

It started with the question as to whether people who have both children and dogs could ever love a dog as much as their child.

All the parents who responded said no.

Then lots of people who own dogs but don't have children said that they could love dog as much as a child.

And now we are coming up with more and more extreme situations where the non-parents are being asked whether they would save a child or their dog from a marauding bear/burning building/desert island.

It's also getting quite nasty.

BabyMayB · 01/01/2021 23:53

So whilst you can say we are supposed to value other humans above anything, on an emotional level I care about my dog far more than I care about 99.99999999999% of humans, simply because I don't know them

Agree with this. In the stranger Vs dog in burning building scenario, my saving the stranger would be a decision based on morals / ethics not because I have some higher level of love or care toward a random human simply because they are human.

And I definitely don't agree that for most it's a 'mild sadness' when a pet dies. I actually think a lot of people experience very real grief at the loss of a loved pet. In all honestly, I would mourn the death of my dog more than some relatives or even friends (not immediate like DC/DH). He is part of my immediate family, my day to day life, in a way others in my wider circle aren't. I wouldn't mourn him less than some members of my wider circle simply because he was a dog and they were a human. I would feel his loss day to day much more than I would the loss of a lot of people in my life really.

Lucidas · 02/01/2021 00:05

What kind of person shoots an endangered species to save one single human animal?

What kind of person, under extreme stress of making a life/death decision, starts embarking on a cost-benefit analysis like that?

And if you do want to go there, how many children are worth sacrificing to save an endangered animal’s life? Is there a set number?

In the case of Western lowland gorillas, a crude ratio puts that at about 20,000 children dead, before logic would have dictated stepping in.

Calculating the value of life in this way is highly disturbing.

isabellanova1 · 02/01/2021 00:13

@Yohoheaveho

personally I think that’s wrong yer but.... underlying point is that humans are generally more useful, better at problem solving etc, after all we build cities we have science, dentistry, and art etc dogs are amusing and entertaining but I prefer to have humans on my team
Human animals also have a much greater capacity for evil and cruelty.
Porcupineintherough · 02/01/2021 00:13

Yes and no @Lucidas. We dont insist African 20,000 children are saved from an early death from starvation or disease before we give to gorilla conservation charities do we?

isabellanova1 · 02/01/2021 00:24

To all the posters who automatically value the lives of other humans over non human animals? Do you also value the lives of people who belong to the same race, sex, religion as worth more than those who don't? If you do, then you're a pretty shitty person, to both the animals and humans.

PastaAndPizzaPlease · 02/01/2021 00:24

I’d say you love a dog more than your children. Dogs are a very unconditional type of love

KosherSalt · 02/01/2021 00:31

@isabellanova1

To all the posters who automatically value the lives of other humans over non human animals? Do you also value the lives of people who belong to the same race, sex, religion as worth more than those who don't? If you do, then you're a pretty shitty person, to both the animals and humans.
Do you value all animal lives the same as your pets, @isabellanova1? A bluebottle, your dog, your neighbour’s cat, a lizard or an endangered gorilla on another continent?
SeaEagleFeather · 02/01/2021 00:32

@WorraLiberty

I work with someone who talks about her dog more than her own daughter and is constantly posting photos of her dog on social media.

That's no indication that she loves her dog as much as her child though is it?

If you work on the principle that you spend the most time on the beings you love the most, then yes it is.

When someone consistently talks more about their animal than their daughter, it's an indication of who comes first in their life.

daisyjgrey · 02/01/2021 00:35

No. I love my dog and I love my child. I would die for my child, I wouldn't die for my dog.

isabellanova1 · 02/01/2021 00:42

@KosherSalt
Nah, my dog and cats are my priority as they are part of my family. I don't believe my animals have greater inherent value to other animals but that doesn't stop me from caring about them more. Just like I value the life of my husband over the lives of strangers, not because I believe he is superior, but because he's my husband and I love him. It's completely natural to place the well being of your own family above that of strangers, people are selfish I'm this way. Just like I am sure a mother would save her child over ten strangers, it doesn't mean the child is worth more, it's just that the mother is selfish and it is natural to be so. I am vegan, and I recognise that I think differently to most of the population but I don't think that makes me wrong or mentally ill like some are claiming.

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 02/01/2021 01:06

Anyway, in real life, my partner, kids and pets are all happy as all needs have been met today, like every other day. Online shop has arrived so no one is fighting over the last piece of food in the house. Christmas lights are unplugged so very small risk of the house catching fire and me having to choose between saving my children or my pets. We’re not currently on a boat so not likely to sink and have to choose between drowning children.

One of our dogs is due to undergo a major procedure and we have all said we’d all swap places with her as we love her so much. We’re a pretty normal family. We don’t all keep a list of who we love in order of importance, we just get on with our lives and deal with stuff as it happens.

DustyMaiden · 02/01/2021 01:08

The pain you feel losing a pet is awful but you get over it. Losing a child is with you forever.

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 02/01/2021 01:15

DustyMaiden

Some people on this thread haven’t got over losing their pet. Are they lying? 🙄

DustyMaiden · 02/01/2021 01:20

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze
I’m sure they believe it. I don’t think you’ll find anyone whose lost a D.C. saying it was easier than when the dog died.

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 02/01/2021 01:29

DustyMaiden

I have a friend who lost a child. She doesn’t treat it as a competition and doesn’t judge others. She’s probably the most compassionate person I’ve ever known.

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