Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can you love a dog as much as a child?

490 replies

Bluemooninmyeyes1 · 31/12/2020 23:11

I’m not a dog owner and I don’t have children so I’m pretty clueless on this subject but genuinely interested! I work with someone who talks about her dog more than her own daughter and is constantly posting photos of her dog on social media.

So..is it possible to love your dog as much as your kids?

YABU- You cannot love a dog as much as a child

YANBU- You can definitely love a dog as much as a child

OP posts:
Abloom1 · 01/01/2021 00:41

[quote Shadow21]@formerbabe
Yes, ofcourse. I would be thinking about my family’s future and how we would cope if we lost the dog. Ofcourse I would prioritise my family over an unknown family.[/quote]
This is a scary post! 😦

noblegreenk · 01/01/2021 00:42

I think you can love a pet as much as your child. I rescued my dog 18 months before my daughter was born. She had been badly mistreated and we developed a very significant bond. I've had dogs before and loved them to bits but not like this. She's so dependant on me. She can still be nervous due to her past but when it's just me and my dog she's completely different, fully relaxed and playful. She's never like that when other people are around. My husband says our dog is the love of my life and he's probably right, we have a really special bond.

caringcarer · 01/01/2021 00:43

I have 3 DC and a foster son and I love them all more than my beloved 4 cats and 2 dogs. I do lovey pets very much though. If people do not have children and especially if no partner either I can see their cat or dog meaning the world to them. Pets are such good companions when you live alone.

Veryverycalmnow · 01/01/2021 00:44

Nope

1stTimeMama · 01/01/2021 00:44

Resounding no from me.

CounsellorTroi · 01/01/2021 00:47

Don't have children but have had two dogs and loved them intensely. Broke my heart when they died.

Shadow21 · 01/01/2021 00:48

@Yohoheaveho
I’m not sure how you would go about comparing the two tbh. How do you compare emotion distress between two different people? You can’t.

@formerbabe
You’re right I will most likely outlive her. I could cope with her dying of old age, or being PTS in a peaceful way due to some hypothetical illness. But in a fire? I can’t imagine anything worse tbh, I would be devastated to know she does alone, scared and in pain. My worst nightmare there.

PodgeBod · 01/01/2021 00:49

I actually had a neighbour who killed himself when his dog recieved a terminal diagnosis. The dog ended up living significantly longer then expected. It was very shocking, he had a long term partner, grown up kids and grandkids. But you never saw him without his dog and he seemed depressed otherwise.

Lordamighty · 01/01/2021 00:50

The thought of someone prioritising the life of a dog over a child is quite sickening.

Abloom1 · 01/01/2021 00:50

@Shadow21
you can’t imagine that the same will happen to that child?

merrygoround51 · 01/01/2021 00:50

I adore our puppy and love him almost like you would love a baby. However I know this is because my children are now teens so he is the focus of my motherly clucking that they are batting away now.

My DH and I spent 15 minutes staring and laughing at him today the way we did with our babies. However , I could never imagine loving him more or indeed prioritising them.

If it’s a toss up, they come first

Bourbonic · 01/01/2021 00:51

Who is anybody, really, to put a measure on how much love somebody can have for their dog?

I don't have children but I love my dog more than pretty much any human I know

TotalWipeOutG · 01/01/2021 00:52

@PodgeBod

I actually had a neighbour who killed himself when his dog recieved a terminal diagnosis. The dog ended up living significantly longer then expected. It was very shocking, he had a long term partner, grown up kids and grandkids. But you never saw him without his dog and he seemed depressed otherwise.
Honestly this could have been me if it had happened a few years ago.

It may sound surprising to some but my dog helped me in a way that my husband and family just couldn't at the time. I can't explain it. He was the best therapy, the only thing that worked tbh. If something had happened to him I would have spiralled further into the depression I was already feeling despite having a loving family around me.

You definitely can have very intense bonds with certain animals.

Abloom1 · 01/01/2021 00:56

You definitely can have very intense bonds with certain animals.
Could it be that the bond was a manifestation of your depression?

Shadow21 · 01/01/2021 00:59

@Abloom1

You definitely can have very intense bonds with certain animals. Could it be that the bond was a manifestation of your depression?
Some people just prefer animals to people.
TotalWipeOutG · 01/01/2021 01:03

@Abloom1

You definitely can have very intense bonds with certain animals. Could it be that the bond was a manifestation of your depression?
I don't know, it's very hard to answer. I have no idea what I'd feel if I hadn't been depressed iyswim?

I'm sure that my depression and the fact I felt/feel that he helped me through it has strengthened the bond I feel toward him immensely though.

At the time, I was so petrified something would happen to him, it actually made my anxiety worse. I was convinced he would die. So yes, all a big tangled mess of issues but still, I can see why in certain situations people feel very attached to their animals.

Not suggesting loving the same as or more than DC but definitely some intense connection.

jesper1 · 01/01/2021 01:03

Far more
They are much easier

Cherrysoup · 01/01/2021 01:04

Tricky, but a mate once said she loved her dc 100 times more than her dogs. I find that difficult given I have no dc but have dogs who I adore. I think I’d be a very fierce mum.

Abloom1 · 01/01/2021 01:09

@TotalWipeOutG
I hope you are out of that darkness now. I fought depression for a few years and know what you mean. Flowers

@Shadow21
I am curious as to what you would feel if someone chose to not save you but their dog? What if it was your child vs a dog?

Shadow21 · 01/01/2021 01:13

[quote Abloom1]@TotalWipeOutG
I hope you are out of that darkness now. I fought depression for a few years and know what you mean. Flowers

@Shadow21
I am curious as to what you would feel if someone chose to not save you but their dog? What if it was your child vs a dog?[/quote]
I would completely get it. I don’t believe people are worth more than animals.

Willyoujustbequiet · 01/01/2021 01:14

No of couse not.

Any parent who claims to love a pet as much or more than their child has mental health issues and should seek help.

Abloom1 · 01/01/2021 01:16

Any parent who claims to love a pet as much or more than their child has mental health issues and should seek help.
I agree with this.

TiredSloth · 01/01/2021 01:17

@Shadow21 I really hope your child never realises that you may well choose to save your dog over them if the situation ever arose.

eaglejulesk · 01/01/2021 01:19

I don't have kids and never wanted them. I couldn't imagine life without a pet however.

ktp100 · 01/01/2021 01:22

Nope.

Swipe left for the next trending thread