Page 6 | Can you love a dog as much as a child?

Abloom1 · 01/01/2021 01:22

@eaglejulesk

I don't have kids and never wanted them. I couldn't imagine life without a pet however.

You can only compare if you have both a child and a pet.

ApplesinmyPocket · 01/01/2021 01:34

We all know animals have shorter lives and that if we choose to have them we will be bereaved every decade or so. If it were REALLY exactly like the terrible, life-changing, sometimes insupportable loss of losing a child, no-one would ever take on a second pet, would they; who could support that mental torture every decade or so?

Badwill · 01/01/2021 01:40

I REALLY love my dog - he comes very close to the DC but no it's not quite the same.

CandyLeBonBon · 01/01/2021 01:46

I work with someone who talks about her dog more than her own daughter and is constantly posting photos of her dog on social media

I talk about my job more than my kids. Does that mean I love my job more than my kids?

(Clue: no)

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 01:46

I judge someone who says they love their dog more than their child as being a very unpleasant and untrustworthy person.

There was a thread a few years ago here asking if people would save someone else's child or their dog from a burning building. not only did loads of people pick the dog but some posters said they'd save their pet before they saved their kids. It was the most depressing thing I've ever read on here.

CandyLeBonBon · 01/01/2021 01:47

But you are a step parent op so I'm sure you're not as clueless as you suggest.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 01:49

@Shadow21

Absolutely. I love my dog. She is more important to me than other people. If had to save my dog or a child from a burning building, it would be my dog every time. Although I hope to never have to make such a decision.

People like you terrify me. You'd let a child burn in a building to save an animal?

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 01:50

[quote Shadow21]@formerbabe
Why?
I don’t subscribe to the belief that people are superior to animals 🤷🏼‍♀️[/quote]
A human being should value the life of a human child more than an animal. They absolutely are superior in importance.

ToddlerIs2 · 01/01/2021 01:51

I have a friend who considers her dog her first born. We joke she loves her more than the human children but if it came to it, her kids would come first and she obviously loves them more.

I think of you genuinely love your dog more than your children, you're probably not a great parent / have a good parent child relationship.

I know people who have no kids who claim to love their dog as much as they would who replace the dog within a few months of the dog dying and then carry on as before so it's obv bollocks

CandyLeBonBon · 01/01/2021 01:53

Beating in mind shadow has quite the recent goady history, I'd be making sure I didn't react too much to their goady nonsense

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 01:53

Yes I'd suggest that if you were in a burning building with your dog and a child who is unknown to you and given a choice you'd save your dog over the child you lack a conscience or any sense of social responsibility...yes I'd definitely say that.

Totally agree @formerbabe

I think it's frightening that people have this attitude.

I'm probably being extra sensitive though as my cousin lost her son to cancer this week he'd just turned 1. absolutely horrific to think that if some people had the choice they'd have kept a dog alive over that poor baby. Yes it's hypothetical but still horrifying.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 01:57

I’m not sure how you would go about comparing the two tbh. How do you compare emotion distress between two different people? You can’t.

@Shadow21 my cousin lost her baby boy this week. Her first born, after a battle with cancer. I can guarantee that no sane human has ever been as cut up over a dog than she is feeling right now. It's not natural or just to outlive your children. I really do hope you see when your baby comes along how awful your stance is.

SleepingStandingUp · 01/01/2021 02:00

That's so sad @GlummyMcGlummerson, I hope you're family is able to pull around her and her partner as much as possible at this time given lockdown xx

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 02:02

@ApplesinmyPocket

We all know animals have shorter lives and that if we choose to have them we will be bereaved every decade or so. If it were REALLY exactly like the terrible, life-changing, sometimes insupportable loss of losing a child, no-one would ever take on a second pet, would they; who could support that mental torture every decade or so?

Exactly.

I think it's also worth pointing out that a natural bond between a parent and child means that a parent is irreplaceable - whereas anyone on here's dog would go to a new family tomorrow and be fine as long as they are fed and walked. Dogs don't love you because of your sparkling personality, they "love" you because you're the key to food, shelter and exercise.

Shadow21 · 01/01/2021 02:03

@GlummyMcGlummerson

A human being should value the life of a human child more than an animal. They absolutely are superior in importance.

Why? Based on what? This is your belief.

Mypathtriedtokillme · 01/01/2021 02:04

My pets will never care about what I posted about them in social media and it will never be a future invasion of their privacy.

I’d rather post (not that I do) pictures of my pets than children.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 02:07

@SleepingStandingUp

That's so sad *@GlummyMcGlummerson*, I hope you're family is able to pull around her and her partner as much as possible at this time given lockdown xx

I'll admit I did break the rules and went to see them both for cuddles and support. They need people round them right now, she is pregnant with their second which I think is giving them strength

we thought he was in remission and the cancer matastitsed (spelling?) in his brain, he died the day after it was spotted just after Christmas. I only met him once because he had to shield after his chemo, it's absolutely heartbreaking and, not to be a grief vampire, but I'm (privately) in bits right now. And holding my own children closer to me every day.

Shadow21 · 01/01/2021 02:07

Dogs don't love you because of your sparkling personality, they "love" you because you're the key to food, shelter and exercise.

Honestly I think you could say the same about most newborns.

Dogs absolutely build a bond with their people. Any dog owner knows this.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 02:11

[quote Shadow21]@GlummyMcGlummerson

A human being should value the life of a human child more than an animal. They absolutely are superior in importance.

Why? Based on what? This is your belief.[/quote]
Because

Humans are the same species as you, they should hold a higher value. We have a natural bond with them, we rely on other humans for company and general living, and relationships with humans are far more complex than that with animals.

your child is a product of you and you don't expect to ever lose them in your life. I lien a dog which you expect to lose and can replace.

Your dog "loves" you back because you feed it. This power imbalance is not the kind of relationship that humans have with each other. Dogs aren't obedient because they think you're wonderful, they know obedience is the easy way to food. They'd easily settle with another family if they had to.

I agree that you have sociopathic tendencies if you'd let a child die for selfish reasons about your pet, and I only hope having a baby makes you see sense. I assume you'd save your own baby over your dog or are you not bothered?

MyDogsAreBeautiful · 01/01/2021 02:12

I always think it’s a bit weird when people put their loved ones on some sort of list of who is loved most. In our family, including pets, everyone is important. We’re a team.

SleepingStandingUp · 01/01/2021 02:12

@GlummyMcGlummerson not a grief vampire at all, I'm feeling a little choked up here myself. He must be the same age as my boys. Hopefully the pregnancy will pull her through, when DS was a tiny new born and critically ill I'd have gone with him. It's different once there's another baby. And I'm glad you broke the rules. I can't begin to imagine the pain.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 02:13

@Shadow21

Dogs don't love you because of your sparkling personality, they "love" you because you're the key to food, shelter and exercise.

Honestly I think you could say the same about most newborns.

Dogs absolutely build a bond with their people. Any dog owner knows this.

It's a "bond" built on the need to be taken care of, because you're what they rely on.

This isn't the same with humans. When you give birth, that baby expects to see you, to be fed off you, to be loved by you. You have a bond because you shared a body and that builds through nurture and love.

Dogs have that too...with the (dog) mothers that they are taken from when they are tiny to be sold at a high price to selfish humans.

SleepingStandingUp · 01/01/2021 02:14

@MyDogsAreBeautiful

I always think it’s a bit weird when people put their loved ones on some sort of list of who is loved most.

In our family, including pets, everyone is important. We’re a team.

No one is saying pets aren't important. But the feelings most people have for their pets and their children are not the same and of you were forced to consider it, would be clearly in your children's favour

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 02:15

Thank you @SleepingStandingUp ive been strong for my cousin but my god I broke down when I came home. Luckily the kids were at exH's as I wouldn't have liked them to see me like that. The funeral is next week, In going but I don't know how I will cope...so selfish as if that's how I feel how must my poor cousin and her DH feel? We thought the little fella out of the woods

MyDogsAreBeautiful · 01/01/2021 02:17

No one is saying pets aren't important. But the feelings most people have for their pets and their children are not the same and of you were forced to consider it, would be clearly in your children's favour

But it’s weird as fuck to do the burning building scenario. It’s probably never going to happen so it’s a very odd to make yourself make a choice.