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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can you love a dog as much as a child?

490 replies

Bluemooninmyeyes1 · 31/12/2020 23:11

I’m not a dog owner and I don’t have children so I’m pretty clueless on this subject but genuinely interested! I work with someone who talks about her dog more than her own daughter and is constantly posting photos of her dog on social media.

So..is it possible to love your dog as much as your kids?

YABU- You cannot love a dog as much as a child

YANBU- You can definitely love a dog as much as a child

OP posts:
formerbabe · 01/01/2021 00:06

@Shadow21

Absolutely. I love my dog. She is more important to me than other people. If had to save my dog or a child from a burning building, it would be my dog every time. Although I hope to never have to make such a decision.
Frightening
Yohoheaveho · 01/01/2021 00:08

Of course you can ....one can in theory love anything as much as one desires.
perhaps a more useful question would be 'should you' or 'could it be in anyway a bad thing/indicative of a dysfunctional or disordered personality', etc

Fatladyslim · 01/01/2021 00:13

I don't think these are indicators tbh. I have pictures of my cats on FB but not my children. I love them too much to parade them over the internet whilst still babies without any say in the matter.

I probably did love my cats as much as I love my son but only before he was born, he quickly replaced that intense feeling I had for them, though I still love them to pieces, my worry for them has relaxed a lot.

Shadow21 · 01/01/2021 00:13

@formerbabe
Why?
I don’t subscribe to the belief that people are superior to animals 🤷🏼‍♀️

EmmaGrundyForPM · 01/01/2021 00:14

@Shadow21

Absolutely. I love my dog. She is more important to me than other people. If had to save my dog or a child from a burning building, it would be my dog every time. Although I hope to never have to make such a decision.
But do you actually have a child? If not then its impossible to say, whereas all.the people who have both know without doubt they would prioritise their child over their dog.
Runnerduck34 · 01/01/2021 00:15

YABU, my dogs are nowhere near as important to me as my kids, nothing compares to the unconditional love you feel for your DC.
Obviously people love their dogs and you can form a close bond to them but its not the same as the love you feel for your children, nowhere near

Shadow21 · 01/01/2021 00:17

@EmmaGrundyForPM
I am 31 weeks pregnant with my first child.

formerbabe · 01/01/2021 00:18

[quote Shadow21]@formerbabe
Why?
I don’t subscribe to the belief that people are superior to animals 🤷🏼‍♀️[/quote]
I think saving a dog over a human child is quite sociopathic.

Fatladyslim · 01/01/2021 00:19

I think dogs are a bloody huge commitment though. After 10 years, 2 cats, 2 joint mortgages and a son, we regularly joke we aren't quite at 'dog commitment' level yet 😂

KeyboardWorriers · 01/01/2021 00:19

My dad definitely loves his dog more than his children. Possibly because we cost more and cause him more stress Grin

Shinyletsbebadguys · 01/01/2021 00:20

I think people can love a dog as much as a child but it's not the same thing as it being the same as having children ( I know I'm slightly off tangent there but it drives me mad when people claim that raising a dog is the same as raising a child....I've done both and no it's not) . I think as a pp said love for an animal is less complicated so easier to talk about.

Ultimately though I don't love anything or anyone more than my DC. Ddog is my girl (seriously in a house with 3 males .... we have to stick together ignoring that she would sell me to protect DP

I would say most halfway decent parents will always love their DC more than an animal but it doesn't mean their love for their dog isn't intense.

LockdownLilly · 01/01/2021 00:20

The dog is my instant gratification highspot, the kids are a slow burn love. I"d currently put DH last, hard to find the joy with him sometimes, perhaps he needs worming.

TotalWipeOutG · 01/01/2021 00:20

I think posting on SM and talking about her dog doesn't mean she loves the dog more than her child.

It's different imo. Dogs can be almost hobbies in a way. Someone can be really passionate about their pets, their care, training, etc... In the way people can be about hobbies. They may talk about them a lot and post about them more than anything else.

Also, in all honesty... I think a lot of people are more interested in hearing about and seeing pictures of, people's dogs than their kids.

KeyboardWorriers · 01/01/2021 00:22

@fatladyslim yes we have 4 kids and a big house but I still dont feel grown up enough for the responsibility of a dog Grin

Shadow21 · 01/01/2021 00:22

@formerbabe

A sociopath is person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.

There is no moral responsibility to save a person over an animal unless you subscribe to the belief that humans are superior.

Plus some people are pretty evil, there is no way I would save them dog or no dog.

formerbabe · 01/01/2021 00:22

My friend lost her lovely dog recently...she's very sad..I felt awful for her. But, her life isn't destroyed by it. That's the difference I guess

Darbs76 · 01/01/2021 00:23

I adore my dog, but I don’t love him as much as my children, not far off though. We all adore him. He follows me around, where ever I go, he goes. He’s my baby, nothing can replicate the love of a dog.

Yohoheaveho · 01/01/2021 00:23

Saving a dog over a human child is quite sociopathic
It certainly would make me wonder 🤔 i mean....what does it say about you if your primary attachment, your strongest emotional bond is with a dog rather than human

pursuedbyablackdog · 01/01/2021 00:24

@Bluemooninmyeyes1

I know it’s not really relevant to my OP but I do have a pet cat and I can honestly say I would put her above some family members!
Well to be fair I love my dog much more than most family members; just not more than my DC...now my DH well no comparison he ate all my chocs so right now yes the dog is way higher in my affections!
formerbabe · 01/01/2021 00:24

[quote Shadow21]@formerbabe

A sociopath is person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.

There is no moral responsibility to save a person over an animal unless you subscribe to the belief that humans are superior.

Plus some people are pretty evil, there is no way I would save them dog or no dog.[/quote]
Yes I'd suggest that if you were in a burning building with your dog and a child who is unknown to you and given a choice you'd save your dog over the child you lack a conscience or any sense of social responsibility...yes I'd definitely say that.

Mascaramademehappy · 01/01/2021 00:25

You could be writing about me. I never post anything about my children despite them being amazing. I feel that their life should be private.

My dog however is fair game.

The love I have for my dog is the same type as I have for the children - overwhelming & protective, can see their flaws and the absolute brilliance but loves them unconditionally and would do anything in my power to keep them safe and show them love - but - the level of the love is very different.

My children always come first.

formerbabe · 01/01/2021 00:25

@Yohoheaveho

Saving a dog over a human child is quite sociopathic It certainly would make me wonder 🤔 i mean....what does it say about you if your primary attachment, your strongest emotional bond is with a dog rather than human
Yes and even if the child was unknown to you, surely anyone would opt to save the child?
Fatladyslim · 01/01/2021 00:26

[quote KeyboardWorriers]@fatladyslim yes we have 4 kids and a big house but I still dont feel grown up enough for the responsibility of a dog Grin[/quote]
🤣 It just seems like so much faff! Kennels for holidays, have to be back in time to walk them each day.

I just take my son with me
And I everywhere! So much easier, if its bit a suitable place I just don't go! Bliss hahha

Aquamarine1029 · 01/01/2021 00:26

You love your dog as if they were your child... Until you actually have a child.

coronafiona · 01/01/2021 00:26

No way could I love my pet as much as my children

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