Was she being unreasonable or smart?

[Shouldputcheeseonit]

Totally lighthearted, sharing for lighthearted opinions!
Spent Christmas Day At MILs with DH, BIL, SIL and our kids. In the afternoon when the kids opened their chocolates we asked them to offer them around, MIL had a box out too, and DH opened his.
SIL took one every time she was offered but didn’t eat them, put them in her handbag. I’d estimate by the end of the day she had about 15 chocolates in there! I felt amused, but DH and MIL had a rant about it after SIL and BIL had left, saying you shouldn’t take a choc unless you intend to eat it.
Was she being unreasonable or is it rather smart to save them for later, if you don’t fancy them now? I reckon she would have had a nice pre-bed snack!
Yes: she was unreasonable, only take if you’re going to eat
No: what a good idea, save them for later!

This is not the behaviour of a normal adult.

This wouldn't bother me a bit. If I offer someone food, I don't dictate when or how they eat it. What's the big deal with saving them for later?

@Thedarknightsaredrawingin

This is not the behaviour of a normal adult.

This ^^ That behaviour screams disordered eating to me. Its not at all normal to hoard chocolates. If you don't want one at the time of being offered you say no. Normal adults don't squirrel them away in their handbags for later.

I dont eat during the day so treats are stored up and eaten in the evening after my evening meal. My choice to eat at a time that suits me and there is no reason why I should miss out on treats just because I don't want them right now. She was being perfectly reasonable and so am I

I think it's funny.
She was soooooo wrong to do that , but I'd have stopped offering her after the second.

Its a bit strange to hoard in your handbag. But maybe sil has no chocolates at home and didn't fancy them right then but wanted them later on. Some people would like a few chocolates but can't buy a big tub as it would go to waste!
Maybe next year buy sil her own box she can offer around too and mil can store some in her handbag as it bothered her so much 😂

It isn’t necessarily disordered eating - some people on diets etc really struggle around the festive season and it may be that she really couldn’t be arsed to have to potentially get the “oh go on, it’s Christmas!” conversation every time.

Calmly accepting whatever’s offered and then putting it aside could avoid all that faff. Though she should have been more subtle if everyone noticed!

Alternatively: maybe she’s slyly trying to build herself a full tin of sweets on the cheap to regift?

Why is the offer with the condition of eating it at that moment?

I'm taking notes.

Your voting options don’t work. We don’t have yes and no buttons!

She wasn’t unreasonable at all. What’s the difference between her taking them and eating the straight away and taking and eating them later on? There’s no difference.

@DelphineWalsh

Why is the offer with the condition of eating it at that moment?

I agree, she was offered chocs and she accepted. You can't really dictate when she should be eating them. I wouldn't be offended by this.

I just imagine she's having a nice bath, headphones on with a podcast or TV show slowly enjoying nice chocolates. Why not?

I wouldn't ask my kids to offer them round of they were their presents. If they chose to then fine but to me that's the unreasonable bit.

Whoops good point YouBoughtMeAWall
YABU: she was being unreasonable
YANBU: she wasn’t

Thank you! Have now voted

Shocked by how evenly split the vote is!

People on MN are weird about other people’s food consumption.

This sounds totally weird! Especially as she was taking the chocolates from a child!

Why didn't she just say, "I don't fancy it now so I'll have it later"? I don't think she's unreasonable to do that - you can't insist someone eats something just because you're eating at the same time.

Oh yeah, I wouldn't take chocolates from the children!

YANBU if she didn't fancy them there and then that's her choice to have them for later

Ha ha, I think you were unreasonable for making your children share their chocolate, and the adults were unreasonable for taking the chocolate from the children. I certainly wouldn't have shared my Gucci perfume with everyone else in the room!

I’m picturing you walking around offering everyone a squirt @Alexandernevermind

Oh don’t work Liverbird77, we merely asked and they were very happy to do it, they had great fun choosing from each other’s (there were different ones like celebrations and heroes and quality streets).

Not the social norm, for sure!