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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was she being unreasonable or smart?

148 replies

Shouldputcheeseonit · 31/12/2020 11:36

Totally lighthearted, sharing for lighthearted opinions!
Spent Christmas Day At MILs with DH, BIL, SIL and our kids. In the afternoon when the kids opened their chocolates we asked them to offer them around, MIL had a box out too, and DH opened his.
SIL took one every time she was offered but didn’t eat them, put them in her handbag. I’d estimate by the end of the day she had about 15 chocolates in there! I felt amused, but DH and MIL had a rant about it after SIL and BIL had left, saying you shouldn’t take a choc unless you intend to eat it.
Was she being unreasonable or is it rather smart to save them for later, if you don’t fancy them now? I reckon she would have had a nice pre-bed snack!
Yes: she was unreasonable, only take if you’re going to eat
No: what a good idea, save them for later!

OP posts:
AliceMadHatter · 31/12/2020 16:30

I can't get my head around people thinking it's normal. Take one to be polite if you feel the need to but next time you are asked say "No thank you, I'e still not eaten the first one".

SleepingStandingUp · 31/12/2020 16:33

@AliceMadHatter

I can't get my head around people thinking it's normal. Take one to be polite if you feel the need to but next time you are asked say "No thank you, I'e still not eaten the first one".
This. I can imagine taking one of an eager 5 year old was desperate to share, and keeping it for later if you couldn't eat it. But next time you say no thank you darling, you keep them for yourselves.

However don't offer chocs to people then bitch about what they do with them. Just stop offering or tell the kids they don't need to share past one for each person

Bluntness100 · 31/12/2020 16:34

@AliceMadHatter

I can't get my head around people thinking it's normal. Take one to be polite if you feel the need to but next time you are asked say "No thank you, I'e still not eaten the first one".
Me neither, I’ve genuinely never seen any one do it. I’m trying to imagine if their whole social circle does it, snd they are all ramming sweets, biscuits and sandwiches in their handbags and pockets.
Eckhart · 31/12/2020 16:42

@Whatisthisfuckery

What I would find odd is being offered a chocolate with the condition that I eat it immediately in front of the offerer. That would be bloody weird to me.

What I would find really odd, and incredibly rude and nasty, is accepting a proffered chocolate, then being the subject of scorn and ridicule behind my back because I failed to comply with some unspoken condition placed upon accepting said chocolate, then finding that someone had started a thread about it on MN. I would find that fucking mental.

What I would consider very reasonable and in no way odd is accepting a proffered sweet with the intention of enjoying it later when I fancied it.

This is all about 'a chocolate'.

It's the fifteen-ness that's the issue.

It starts to get odd when you have to ask to borrow a bin liner from your host to carry away your hoard.

AliceMadHatter · 31/12/2020 17:13

I can remember attending a party and a friends DH hovering over and eating the buffet all night and then at the end asking if he could take some home. He took loads before anyone else could get it, I was gobsmacked. They are well off and the thought of eating buffet food that had been sat for hours the next day turned my stomach.

AliceMadHatter · 31/12/2020 17:14

He wasn't even pissed, there was no time for drinking.

itsgettingweird · 31/12/2020 17:16

Possibly smart!

The idea would never have occurred to me because it's not considered a social norm.

But I guess if offered there's nothing wrong with accepting and eating later?

Still wouldn't have the balls to do it though Grin

itsgettingweird · 31/12/2020 17:19

Mindyou when I have friends over (oh the good ole days Wink) and they refuse further food - I always offer them a doggy bag and send them home with some savoury and sweet food to have later or following day.

Ds and I don't need 3/4 of a cake or 50 sausage rolls!

rabbitheadlights · 31/12/2020 17:24

So if I offered Barbara a sandwich and she then proceeded to put said sandwich in her handbag, that wouldn't be weird at all? Hmm

MasterBeth · 31/12/2020 17:26

Ridiculous behaviour

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 31/12/2020 17:27

For all we know, she could have diabetes and want the chocolates (like everybody else present), but know that she has to time her consumption with when she takes her insulin.

MasterBeth · 31/12/2020 17:28

@Greentrianglequalitystreet

Surely she was just being polite. If a child is being polite and offering you something then it’s kind to accept it even if you don’t really want it.
No, it isn’t. There isn’t a child alive who really wants to give you one of their chocolates. They are just being polite because they have been told to be. You will make their day if you say “No, thanks.”
Bluntness100 · 31/12/2020 17:48

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

For all we know, she could have diabetes and want the chocolates (like everybody else present), but know that she has to time her consumption with when she takes her insulin.
Yes, that would explain it. 😂
EagleFlight · 31/12/2020 17:52

I wouldn’t continue offering someone who did this. Just like I wouldn’t offer someone a second glass of wine if they poured the first one in their handbag to have later.

Dacquoise · 31/12/2020 17:57

Completely off subject but my mother in law used to put roast beef slices in her handbag to eat later at home when we took her out for lunch.

EagleFlight · 31/12/2020 17:58

@Dacquoise

Completely off subject but my mother in law used to put roast beef slices in her handbag to eat later at home when we took her out for lunch.
Did she have a cat by any chance?
Hollyoakswatcher · 31/12/2020 18:00

OMG, I do this and it never occurred to me that someone would actually keep note of what I put in my mouth.

If they are being offered why should I miss out just because I don’t want to eat it straight away.

BabblativeBean · 31/12/2020 18:10

@Whatisthisfuckery

What I would find odd is being offered a chocolate with the condition that I eat it immediately in front of the offerer. That would be bloody weird to me.

What I would find really odd, and incredibly rude and nasty, is accepting a proffered chocolate, then being the subject of scorn and ridicule behind my back because I failed to comply with some unspoken condition placed upon accepting said chocolate, then finding that someone had started a thread about it on MN. I would find that fucking mental.

What I would consider very reasonable and in no way odd is accepting a proffered sweet with the intention of enjoying it later when I fancied it.

I suppose the difference is that if you were eating the chocolate there and then, at some point your chocolate eating capacity would be exhausted.

Putting endless chocolates in your bag 'for later' would potentially only be exhausted when the chocs run out.

Dacquoise · 31/12/2020 18:15

No cat. Liked to eat it later at home after peeling off the paper napkin stuck to it.

bloodyhairy · 31/12/2020 18:19

Holy shit, who cares?!

Bluntness100 · 31/12/2020 18:22

@bloodyhairy

Holy shit, who cares?!
Well you enough, to click, read and comment,,😃
smalalalalalala · 31/12/2020 18:57

It's a bit weird. As a PP said, the reason you share chocolate is to share a moment together, not the sake of a chocolate. As an adult you should be able to afford your own box of Heroes (£4).

For those commenting that when you're being offered food, it's not conditioned to when you eat, if you can't make a dinner invitation, do you request a take-away?

Eckhart · 31/12/2020 19:02

Or sit down at the table when your friend has cooked for you and say 'I'm not hungry right now - could I have a doggy bag?'

baubled · 31/12/2020 19:04

Weird as fuck but amusing none the less!

RUOKHon · 31/12/2020 19:09

The thing is; sharing means two or more people doing or experiencing something at the same time. For example:

A meal
A movie
A box of chocolates
A journey

The chocolates were being shared in the context of: ‘we are all eating these together now, do you want to join us?’

She could have said no. But instead, what’s happened here is she has just got a load of children to give her their chocolate.