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Original poster

Was she being unreasonable or smart?

148 replies

Shouldputcheeseonit · 31/12/2020 11:36

Totally lighthearted, sharing for lighthearted opinions!
Spent Christmas Day At MILs with DH, BIL, SIL and our kids. In the afternoon when the kids opened their chocolates we asked them to offer them around, MIL had a box out too, and DH opened his.
SIL took one every time she was offered but didn’t eat them, put them in her handbag. I’d estimate by the end of the day she had about 15 chocolates in there! I felt amused, but DH and MIL had a rant about it after SIL and BIL had left, saying you shouldn’t take a choc unless you intend to eat it.
Was she being unreasonable or is it rather smart to save them for later, if you don’t fancy them now? I reckon she would have had a nice pre-bed snack!
Yes: she was unreasonable, only take if you’re going to eat
No: what a good idea, save them for later!

OP posts:
NoProblem123 · 31/12/2020 12:55

Adults not aunts !
And agree with PP - it depends on which ones she was squirrelling away Smile

ApolloandDaphne · 31/12/2020 12:56

That is very odd. It might have been okay of she had asked if she could take a few to eat later but to take one every time and stash it away is odd. Is she called Squirrel Nutkins?

EvilEdna1 · 31/12/2020 12:59

Maybe she was pissed off no one bought her a box of chocs for Xmas so decided to fashion her own. It is weird but also strangely brave and I can't help admire her actions.

WombatChocolate · 31/12/2020 13:00

Odd behaviour.
When hosting, you offer food and drink for the period your guests are there.

It would be inappropriate to squirrel away sandwiches from a tea table for the next day, or to pour drinks into a bottle to take home and have next day, or to wrap a chunk of meat from your plate ina napkin to save for dinner later in the week. To do it 15 diffferent times when sweets wee offered round is extremely odd.

For those who don’t like to eat during the day or to have sweets at that time, well yes, if you are out and offered those things in times you don’t eat, YES you do just go without those things. What if you only eat fish on a Friday, but it’s offered on a Tuesday...are you going to take it home for later in the week? It’s not a doggy bag in a restaurant!

People lack basic social skills who don’t grasp that their hosts are offering them sustenance for the period they are hosting, not an open-ended period of time or chance to fill their cupboards at home. So basic!

Justgivemesomepeace · 31/12/2020 13:00

I had a friend who used to ask us to do this when she was teaching her children to share.

HOkieCOkie · 31/12/2020 13:02

That’s random behaviour lol 😂 I mean maybe if you took a handful for later. But 15 is quite a lot.

AnnaFiveTowns · 31/12/2020 13:02

Very, very weird. I can't believe people saying it's normal! It's so wrong to me and I would really judge somebody who did this in a negative way: super tight, like they're always looking out for what they can get out of a situation. The type who are always complaining about things to try to get free vouchers. That type.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 31/12/2020 13:11

Were they wrapped chocolates? If not, did she have a plastic bag or tupperware tub in there, or did she just put them in there to fester and be coated with all the fluff and dust that collects at the bottom?

I'm quite on the fence with this one. It's a bit like all-you-can-eat breakfast buffets, where people point and stare and whisper about you, horrified if you just have a bowl of cornflakes and then fill a big bag to take with you for lunch (maybe you're one of those people who just can't really countenance food early on on the day); whereas somebody else who stuffs their face until it looks like a Zeppelin and then waddles away afterwards, empty-handed, to go and boilk in their room is just getting their money's worth.

On balance, I don't think she is either unreasonable or smart - she's just accepting the offer, like everybody else, of something that she will enjoy at some point after gratefully receiving it. After all, nobody refuses to accept a gift of cash on Christmas Day - on the grounds that all of the main shops are closed, so they wouldn't be able to spend it until a later date.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 31/12/2020 13:23

@WombatChocolate

Odd behaviour. When hosting, you offer food and drink for the period your guests are there.

It would be inappropriate to squirrel away sandwiches from a tea table for the next day, or to pour drinks into a bottle to take home and have next day, or to wrap a chunk of meat from your plate ina napkin to save for dinner later in the week. To do it 15 diffferent times when sweets wee offered round is extremely odd.

For those who don’t like to eat during the day or to have sweets at that time, well yes, if you are out and offered those things in times you don’t eat, YES you do just go without those things. What if you only eat fish on a Friday, but it’s offered on a Tuesday...are you going to take it home for later in the week? It’s not a doggy bag in a restaurant!

People lack basic social skills who don’t grasp that their hosts are offering them sustenance for the period they are hosting, not an open-ended period of time or chance to fill their cupboards at home. So basic!

I agree with this. Passing of chocolates round is a social act rather than anyone needing a chocolate. If you want to eat chocolates in your own buy your own.
Eckhart · 31/12/2020 13:23

I think she was being smart but I also think the best outcome would come from her accidentally leaving her bag leaning on a radiator.

Being smart to get a stash of chocolates from kids is a bit rubbish.

Bluntness100 · 31/12/2020 13:27

Oh that’s so cringe, taking Chocolates off kids then putting them in your bag to take away with you. Even taking them off adults.

Does she do it with other things? Like if you offer her cake or biscuits, does she wrap them in a napkin and shove them in her bag? Or take an extra helping of potatoes and put them in her handbag?

flourandeggs · 31/12/2020 13:28

I wonder what else is in that handbag? A quart of gin? Wrapping paper to reuse next year? A pilfered present? She sounds like a great character from a book. Is the bag Mary Poppins carpet bag size? Please describe it!

lottiegarbanzo · 31/12/2020 13:29

She was incredibly rude and greedy.

Accepting and putting aside one chocolate for later would be ok, if you said that's what you were doing. Stashing 15 of them is the act of a person who is either unsocialised or disordered.

Normally, satiety governs how many would be accepted. So people will reach a point where they've had enough and will decline further offers. Manners might prevent them from accepting more before that.

Fairyliz · 31/12/2020 13:30

@phoenixrosehere

*What I would find odd is being offered a chocolate with the condition that I eat it immediately in front of the offerer. That would be bloody weird to me.

What I would find really odd, and incredibly rude and nasty, is accepting a proffered chocolate, then being the subject of scorn and ridicule behind my back because I failed to comply with some unspoken condition placed upon accepting said chocolate, then finding that someone had started a thread about it on MN. I would find that fucking mental.

What I would consider very reasonable and in no way odd is accepting a proffered sweet with the intention of enjoying it later when I fancied it.*

Agree.

I’m not big on chocolate and I politely decline it when I’m at my in-laws. However, if it was a young child, I would just accept it and tell them I’m saving it for later if they ask.

But she didn’t just take one sweet and say thank to help the children learn it’s kind to share she took 15!
HerselfIndoors · 31/12/2020 13:33

Weird and selfish to do that when it's children offering them! If she wants a box of chocs she could get herself one. If she took one chocolate and saved it for later that makes sense but not more than one.

As an aside I've realised that further to the recent threads about words people hate, I hate "treats"

notacooldad · 31/12/2020 13:36

Why didn't she just say, "I don't fancy it now so I'll have it later"?
Why does she have to justify herself?
She was offered a sweet she accepted.
Nothing else to say.

Beautiful3 · 31/12/2020 13:37

I think theres nothing wrong with this. I fast, so save treats for certain days. Perhaps she, felt full up and just wanted to have them the next day? At work one lady used to piss off the office by putting sliced birthday cake/treats into a Tupperware box, to eat after her dinner. However what did it matter if she ate it with us, or later?! It doesnt matter at all to me!

LittleMissLockdown · 31/12/2020 13:37

But she didn’t just take one sweet and say thank to help the children learn it’s kind to share she took 15!

Exactly. It's the quantity that makes this so weird and disordered. Taking 1 or 2 from a child out of politeness wouldn't be strnage at all. Taking one everytime you are offered so you end up with approximately 15 chocolates is just bizarre.

I also doubt everyone eating the chocolates at the time actually took and ate one every time they were offered.

dontgobaconmyheart · 31/12/2020 13:38

It's concerning if anything, but hardly matters otherwise does it. If she had eaten each one she took at the time the end result would be the same. All seems very snide, pathetic and gossipy 'ranting' about it after she's left behind her back. Sounds like some family members need to get a grip!

The children, I assume have probably had and still have ample treats and chocolate at home at this time of year. I'd just leave the poor woman alone and find other things to think about.

Plussizejumpsuit · 31/12/2020 13:38

I couldn't get over invested in it. As you're not either, you did say it was lighthearted. But it's quite odd behaviour. How is she normally around food?

mummax3 · 31/12/2020 13:40

I'd understand putting one or 2 away for later but not taking one every time and putting them in your bag! xx

Abouttimemum · 31/12/2020 13:41

Who the fuck has the willpower to not eat absolutely everything put in front of them on Christmas Day? I eat things I don’t even like on Christmas Day.
Anyway yes it’s weird, if i didn’t want one in that moment then I wouldn’t take one, seems a bit cheeky.
However I don’t have any experience in refusing or not eating offered Christmas Day chocolates so shouldn’t really comment.

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 31/12/2020 13:43

I don't know what's weirder the fact your husband made such a deal about it or the fact that people find it weird that an adult can;t eat whatever whenever they like.

ForeverAlone1987 · 31/12/2020 13:44

Maybe she felt in her opinion that it was rude to decline something that someone was offering? Some people are like that lol. I used to be but after an incident of me trying something that made me heave, i now politely decline haha

unlikelytobe · 31/12/2020 13:45

Surely the idea is to pass the tub around and everyone chooses one then you eat them together. It's meant to be a sociable thing. Maybe take one or two for later but don't stockpile!