To think this year has been shit for all but especially hard for those with one child?

[yesyey]

I have one child not through choice but we were beginning to make peace with it pre covid. We were concentrating on the positives of endless activities lots of play dates travel etc. Then covid hit and it was just the three of us. I like to think we are fun parents but we are both key workers and working full time so when we were in lockdown I felt awful that dd was on her own so much. The whole year has made me feel so bad. We couldn't even see grandparents and when I look at all my friends posting Xmas pics on Instagram I feel like dd is lonely. I should say she never says she is and we have great times together when we aren't working and she is v sociable and happy at the park meeting friends or happy to play with other kids

I just feel like this year has accentuated all the negative emotions and I feel so guilty. I tried to make another sibling for her but it didn't happen and I feel so bad.

Pootles made an excellent point- why can’t any single child in a household at the point of restrictions/lockdown- have the opportunity to bubble with another family with a child/ren, for the emotional support of the solo child? It is very hard for any solo child to be deprived of the company of all other children.

YANBU OP. This year has been particularly shit for so many different groups of people - and only children families are definitely one of those.

I get where you are coming from OP. I have twin girls, and while they don't always get on with each other, still, lockdown would have been much harder for them if they hadn't had each other. I think that's the thing - it's particularly hard on the children, and nobody likes to see their children suffer. I would rather break up 5 fights a day as long as they're doing OK, you know?

Not all children have had a hard time of it,even onlies.
Not all people have had an absolutely shit year .

Sadly my kids can't stand the sight of each other and do nothing but antagonise the other. Both lovely children but completely different personalities that clash terribly, not exaggerating, they can't be with each other quietly for 5 mins, it's been extremely stressful and particularly difficult for my eldest who just wants solitude. I know it's really easy to fixate on one thing as being the reason or cure for your struggles, but that is often not the reality. I imagine it has been difficult for one child families, but don't believe it is the universally most difficult situation to be in this year. I hope next year is a better one for us all.

I agree, especially for single parents of only children where all you have is each other.

I would choose lockdown as my situation would have been at 14 years old with an 11 year old sibling I had nothing in common with, and caring for my 3 year old sibling while my mother worked, over the situation my 14 year old is in all on his own. Not needing childcare does not mean not needing company. The isolation of last lockdown affected us both terribly.

Lockdown has been hard on so many people for so many reasons. I only have one child and he has been lonely. But other kids in his class have been pushed into poverty, one kid was separated from her Mum who was on the NHS frontline for weeks, another has been stuck in a house with parents who have been on brink of divorce. Hardly anyone has come out of this year with their emotional well-being intact.

Not saying that to diminish your concerns, just to say that if your kid is fed, feeling loved and secure, they are probably doing Ok.

Not saying that to diminish your concerns, just to say that if your kid is fed, feeling loved and secure, they are probably doing Ok.

Ahh, that MN race to the bottom. That kid separated from their mum, well at least their mum or dad didn’t die of Covid, which others have had, so that kid is ok. Those kids in poverty, well, there are some kids are homeless so those kids are ok. I’ve said this often, just because someone else has it worse, doesn’t make your worst day any easier. OP is allowed to find her life hard without being told there are people who have it harder. And yes, your comments did diminish her problems, how else can it be read?

For me the point about this particular form of distress for children, which exists among various and multiple forms of distress which are more complex to resolve or can’t be avoided at all.. is very easily sorted out by some thought by the government about the differentiated impacts on children of ongoing social restrictions.

Why would we not want to at least make better the things we can make better, just because some problems are much more complex, or can’t be resolved at all?

It's pants for lots of people - everyone in fact - unprecedented in my lifetime (early 50s)

On a purely personal level I am most sad for my DS 13 - an only child - very active with rugby, scouts etc. He loves school and has suffered during lockdown with home schooling - hates not going to school , misses everything about it inc bus journey, misses his mates, misses activities, misses his very elderly grandparents and us just stuck with DH and me. Yes we are lucky that during home schooling he has our pc and study to himself , we work part time so can support him , we have a garden, we aren't rich but are doing ok and are. It worried about losing jobs etc. I really worry for his MH and his education the longer this awful situation continues .

My only is enjoying lockdown, so it depends. We've always been quite on our own, dc's grandparents all died several years ago, dc's father also dead. We manage quite well. Maybe you don't miss what you never had. Try and focus on the positives in your life

You dont have it harder then anyone else.
But you probably feel guilty about having no sibling for your kid as it is by itself all the time now. But that is just the way it is. No matter how many playgroups you take it to, it doesn't change the only child narrative . But. It is what is right? Plenty of 'only's 'out there. Just accept it for what it is. And that you are a happy threesome.

I don't think people should be so mean to the op. Of course there's people in worse situations, but I take it that she's not even worrying about herself but worrying about her DC. We all do that don't we? It's really hard to watch our children struggle with a situation, it's worse than going through it yourself. I felt so sad in lockdown when my DD put her doll on the chair next to her and said it was her classmate, and when her school trip was cancelled and she can't go to her extra curricular activities. Yes there's worse things but I want her life to be enriching rather than just an existence.

YANBU.

Yes it has been hard for lots of people. Yes there is always someone who has it worse. But for an only child who has always had lots of company and playdates, lockdown and tier 4 are pretty sad times. DS(6) was never conscious of being an only child before, and now he is, in a very negative way which would not have happened in normal circumstances.