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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect to be paid back?

115 replies

Dogswotsits · 30/12/2020 19:59

A neighbour from down the road asked in the road’s Facebook group for somebody to pop to the shops to buy some bits due to self isolating a week ago, don’t know her really but wanted to help - said she would post cash (£6ish) through when out and about which was 5 or 6 days ago. Nothing received - AIBU to remind her?

OP posts:
Nsky · 30/12/2020 20:04

Should have asked for cash first

purpledagger · 30/12/2020 20:07

Maybe they are still self isolating or just haven't been out to the bank yet.

Iflyaway · 30/12/2020 20:10

Maybe they are still self isolating or just haven't been out to the bank yet.

Surely everyone has internet banking now?!

BananaPop2020 · 30/12/2020 20:12

@Iflyaway a huge amount of people can’t access banking facilities at all, let alone online.

gobbynorthernbird · 30/12/2020 20:12

@Iflyaway

Maybe they are still self isolating or just haven't been out to the bank yet.

Surely everyone has internet banking now?!

I just tried taking a 10 pound note out of my laptop. For some reason it didn't work.
ForTheLoveOfCatFood · 30/12/2020 20:12

If they are isolating a bank transfer would be safer
Just ping a message saying these are my bank details

Butchyrestingface · 30/12/2020 20:13

Even if they can't access banking facilities, they can surely access FB/text to send OP a message saying the payment has been held up?

JayAlfredPrufrock · 30/12/2020 20:13

Of course she should pay you.

Hermanfromguesswho · 30/12/2020 20:18

Just drop her a text saying ‘would it be ok to transfer the money instead of putting money through the letter box please? Here are my bank details’

Palavah · 30/12/2020 20:21

Presumably if she's self-isolating she might not be out and about yet?

livefornaps · 30/12/2020 20:22

All that for six quid?

Butchyrestingface · 30/12/2020 20:25

@livefornaps

All that for six quid?
She might need the £6.
BikeRunSki · 30/12/2020 20:26

She may have actually become ill during the isolation period and still not have been out.

1Morewineplease · 30/12/2020 20:26

@livefornaps

All that for six quid?
But it's the principle... the neighbour should have paid promptly. If neighbour doesn't have access to bank to bank transfer or cash then shouldn't have asked.
Iflyaway · 30/12/2020 20:28

I just tried taking a 10 pound note out of my laptop. For some reason it didn't work.

Grin @gobbynorthernbird - love the name!

a huge amount of people can’t access banking facilities at all, let alone online.

Shock @BananaPop2020

I'm flabbergasted (Yes, I did grow up in UK). I live on the continent. Everything is done by internet banking/paypal etc. nowadays.
I ordered food to be delivered this afternoon, all done online including payment.

In fact, the supermarkets (only things open, plus pharmacies) won't even take cash anymore, due to Covid.

Iflyaway · 30/12/2020 20:29

Anyway, I hope the lady gets the help she needs.

StoneofDestiny · 30/12/2020 20:29

Of course remind her! Then don't offer again.

Original poster
Dogswotsits · 30/12/2020 20:32

Thanks all.... I know it’s only £6 but I’m irritated by this as I know she’s been out and about with her children over the past few days.... just seems a bit rude but I’ll remind her with my bank details 😬

OP posts:
BananaPop2020 · 30/12/2020 20:36

@Iflyaway it’s quite a big problem. My mum, for example, refuses to use the Internet and doesn’t even have a mobile. Also, if people lack ID and proof of address they can forget it. Therefore, if you are homeless and need to claim benefits, this can be a real issue. I do recall recently reading about a bank who were beginning to take a more flexible approach but I can’t remember who!

MintyMabel · 30/12/2020 20:36

To be honest, for 6 quid I wouldn’t bother. But if you need it, just knock on her door and ask.

I just tried taking a 10 pound note out of my laptop. For some reason it didn't work.

😆

BrightYellowDaffodil · 30/12/2020 20:42

YANBU. It doesn’t matter if it’s £6 or £60, you are reasonable in expecting to be paid back - not only is £6 a lot to some but you can bet your bottom dollar that if they are deliberately not paying it back, it won’t be the last time they ask. They may well just not have any change or haven’t got to a cash point yet, but if they are a CF you need to head it off now.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 30/12/2020 20:45

Never a good deed goes unpunished...

GreySkyClouds · 30/12/2020 20:46

[quote BananaPop2020]@Iflyaway it’s quite a big problem. My mum, for example, refuses to use the Internet and doesn’t even have a mobile. Also, if people lack ID and proof of address they can forget it. Therefore, if you are homeless and need to claim benefits, this can be a real issue. I do recall recently reading about a bank who were beginning to take a more flexible approach but I can’t remember who![/quote]
Hsbc, but your mother will struggle if she doesn’t move with the times.

MIL is the same.

SilverBirchWithout · 30/12/2020 20:56

I’d writer a ‘friendly’ pm. Asking her how she was now and hope she managed to have a good Christmas, and other general chat. Maybe finish off with a sentence about if it is easier to reimburse the £6 by bank transfer you could send her your bank details.
Give it a couple of days and then knock on her door with a cheery hello ‘just thought I’d save you the hassle as I was just passing...’

There is CF on our local Facebook group who regularly asks for favours from the community, I’ve never got involved - but I’ve noticed no one seems to reply anymore, I guess she’s done the same as your neighbour!

Lookslikerainted · 30/12/2020 20:58

I’d let £6 go, I couldn’t bring myself to ask for £6, but be mindful of doing anymore favours.