AIBU? Vegan gift.

[FrostyChocolateMilkshake]

It was my birthday over the Christmas period; my friend - who is quite the "militant vegan" - has sent me some chocolates through the post which is really lovely and thoughtful of her.

However upon opening the chocolate I have found that it is vegan and gluten-free. I am neither of these things. I'm grateful for the thought but sadly this gift will go to waste as it is not something I'd eat.

I probably sound massively ungrateful but I really do appreciate the thought - the only reason I'm a bit irked by it is because I bend over backwards to only buy vegan, ethical products for my friend that I know she will use. She hasn't reciprocated this and has instead bought me something she would like, not me.

AIBU or just truthful? My DH understands why I am put out but I feel really ungrateful - if anything I'm more annoyed that this gift will go unused and my friend will have ultimately wasted her money.

So you'd chuck them because you think you don't like vegan chocolate? Seems bonkers to not try it first.

DS bought me some Booja Booja chocolates from Wholefoods, as it was the only place he could get into. Maybe this is where your friend shops OP because of the queues elsewhere? I didn’t even know they were vegan.

What a pathetic thread! 😂

I think you should bin them and tell your friend you've done that and why, so she knows not to bother with you next year.

My vegan friend gets me vegan things as she won’t pay for animal products even for other people - as you call you friend a militant vegan she’d be the same.

A lot of vegan stuff tastes fine, not all brands are the same.

@PerhapsOverlyWorried

YANBU Vegan chocolate is absolutely rank and it’s very off to receive a gift from someone that are thinking of themselves and not you

I take it that you dislike dark chocolate, which is why you made such an ignorant and ridiculous comment.

Are they Booja - Booja chocolates?!

If so YABU as they are the most delicious chocolates ever!!

If not, and they vegan chocolate is nice, please do share the brand as basically they seem to have higher quality ingredients!

Glad you’re trying them OP.

I don’t think it’s fair to equate ‘she’d be unhappy if I bought her dairy chocolate’ with this situation. It is different- dairy is directly opposed to her beliefs. Vegan chocolate isn’t opposed to yours. I’m sure this is a case of her not wanting to support the dairy industry through purchasing you a gift, which is fair enough.

Maybe just suggest not exchanging gifts in future?

Haven't had chance to catch up with all the comments- didn't realise this thread would blow up so much.

So from posting on here I have learned that yes, I AM being hugely unreasonable and my friend has probably just bought me some chocolates because they are tasty. Not because she is forcing me to become vegan!

I've also taken into consideration the viewpoint that she simply might not have wanted to contribute towards the dairy industry. That's a viewpoint I'd never even have thought of, so (as much as some people have been really quite vile) I'm glad I've posted on here. Feel like I've opened my eyes a bit.

Hands up I haven't read the full thread however if they are booja booja chocs YABU!

I think she has got them for you as some things are just delicious in there own right. Enjoy! I do get its frustrating when you have pit in effort for someone and it feels like some one hasn't reciprocated.

@PatchworkElmer

Glad you’re trying them OP.

I don’t think it’s fair to equate ‘she’d be unhappy if I bought her dairy chocolate’ with this situation. It is different- dairy is directly opposed to her beliefs. Vegan chocolate isn’t opposed to yours. I’m sure this is a case of her not wanting to support the dairy industry through purchasing you a gift, which is fair enough.

Maybe just suggest not exchanging gifts in future?

I understand that now. It wasn't a viewpoint I'd taken before. Will definitely be trying them (and I have nothing against vegans or anything, for the record!)

Good for you OP. Sorry to be sarcastic. Glad you’ve got over it though.

@Frazzlefrazle

Hands up I haven't read the full thread however if they are booja booja chocs YABU!

I think she has got them for you as some things are just delicious in there own right. Enjoy! I do get its frustrating when you have pit in effort for someone and it feels like some one hasn't reciprocated.

I need to try these booja chocolates; I've never heard of them before but from the sounds of it they are amazing!

Will buy my friend some for her birthday too I reckon.

@rathertalktothecats

Good for you OP. Sorry to be sarcastic. Glad you’ve got over it though.

That's OK- I should have expected sarcasm from an AIBU forum!

I know I was a bit at the initial OP, but she has apologised several times and I think people need to stop laying into her now.

Please read the OP's updates everyone.

If she is militant vegan, why would she buy non vegan stuff, even for a friend? Assume she is vegan for a ethical reason.

apparently coconut bowls are very popular at the moment, dd has purchased two vegan friends these for Christmas - if you want to go down the non food/chocolate route

Surely if they are vegan themselves then why would they want to put their money towards something they believe against? Just because it's vegan doesn't mean non vegans can't have it??

@MorganKitten

My vegan friend gets me vegan things as she won’t pay for animal products even for other people - as you call you friend a militant vegan she’d be the same.

A lot of vegan stuff tastes fine, not all brands are the same.

I'm not sure if "militant vegan" is a bit politically incorrect but I did not mean to cause offence with it; I simply meant my friend is very invested in the cause, as I'm sure your friend is too.

Don't worry OP. I've contacted your friend and asked her to knit you some socks from tree bark next time.

@Ginfordinner yes I do, see above comment... absolutely rank. Or can’t you read?

YABU and bonkers.
If it's vegan chocolate it's probably really good with a high cocoa content.
If your friend is Vegan, it's an ethical choice not to purchase animal products - that doesn't mean that she didn't put thought and care into choosing your gift.

Admittedly, I did re-gift the non-dairy cheese substitute that I received in a vegan hamper, but the chocolate spread is definitely a keeper.

Do you insist that there are animal products in every single thing you eat? You are being awkward! Ha ha!

Come on op, you're clearly just having a dumb moment.

She is vegan. She has chosen not only a diet choice, but a change in lifestyle effectively. Would you expect her to go out and buy meat? Or fur? No, because even if you like both of those things, they are against her lifestyle choice. It's not just a diet change. She won't want to contribute to a lifestyle she doesn't want to participate in.

Just try the damn chocolate and if you don't like it, then give it to a family member or something. Never know, might find you like it.

@Ginfordinner

I know I was a bit at the initial OP, but she has apologised several times and I think people need to stop laying into her now.

Please read the OP's updates everyone.

Thanks for this @Ginfordinner

I appreciate I probably came across as an ungrateful brat but that is not the case whatsoever and I have nothing against vegans/vegetarians etc. I hope people can see the point I was trying to make now, and I have realised I needed to look at this from my friend's POV.

@PerhapsOverlyWorried

YANBU Vegan chocolate is absolutely rank and it’s very off to receive a gift from someone that are thinking of themselves and not you

What vegan chocolate have you been eating?!