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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Vegan gift.

531 replies

FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:11

It was my birthday over the Christmas period; my friend - who is quite the "militant vegan" - has sent me some chocolates through the post which is really lovely and thoughtful of her.

However upon opening the chocolate I have found that it is vegan and gluten-free. I am neither of these things. I'm grateful for the thought but sadly this gift will go to waste as it is not something I'd eat.

I probably sound massively ungrateful but I really do appreciate the thought - the only reason I'm a bit irked by it is because I bend over backwards to only buy vegan, ethical products for my friend that I know she will use. She hasn't reciprocated this and has instead bought me something she would like, not me.

AIBU or just truthful? My DH understands why I am put out but I feel really ungrateful - if anything I'm more annoyed that this gift will go unused and my friend will have ultimately wasted her money.

OP posts:
OhNoItsADalek · 30/12/2020 20:12

Oh no @FrostyChocolateMilkshake you need some more 🍾

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 30/12/2020 20:15

I'm just here for the brand name of the chocolates! Glad you liked them OP. I got the hotel chocolat vegan selection box from someone for Christmas and it was amazing, even my non vegan partner agreed.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 30/12/2020 20:22

@ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings

I'm just here for the brand name of the chocolates! Glad you liked them OP. I got the hotel chocolat vegan selection box from someone for Christmas and it was amazing, even my non vegan partner agreed.
Thats the one i got from my dad
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 20:24

@ohnoitsadalek can we have some wine please Wine need some after this shitstorm of a thread! Grin

OP posts:
TheDayAfter · 30/12/2020 20:24

I don’t understand why something labelled “suitable for vegans” gets interpreted as just for vegans. Apples are suitable for vegans.

PurpleDaisies · 30/12/2020 20:25

[quote FrostyChocolateMilkshake]@ohnoitsadalek can we have some wine please Wine need some after this shitstorm of a thread! Grin[/quote]
As long as it’s vegan wine Wink

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 20:25

@ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings

I'm just here for the brand name of the chocolates! Glad you liked them OP. I got the hotel chocolat vegan selection box from someone for Christmas and it was amazing, even my non vegan partner agreed.
They are called Oh My Goodness Smile
OP posts:
dramalamma · 30/12/2020 20:28

Being a vegan means not supporting animal products by buying them so she is just acting in accordance with her beliefs. YABU to expect her to support the animal product industry because you're too small minded to try the chocs before dismissing them as horrible. I'm gluten free and dairy free so eat a lot of vegan stuff and it can be amazing! Some is not great In the same way as some dairy stuff is not great but can't you just accept it as a brand you haven't tried yet and try it? I've just done Xmas gluten abs dairy free and I can certainly say I haven't missed out at all.... bendicks mint choc anyone? Grin

OhNoItsADalek · 30/12/2020 20:30

Sure I have some wine.

🍷🍷🍷

OhNoItsADalek · 30/12/2020 20:31

🍷🍷🍷

christmasathomeagain · 30/12/2020 20:33

Why can't you eat it? Just because it is vegan doesn't mean only vegans can eat it. YABVU and ungrateful.

PastaAndPizzaPlease · 30/12/2020 20:39

But if she is vegan, why on earth would she buy non vegan things? That’s a bit contrary to the whole idea...

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 20:42

@dramalamma

Being a vegan means not supporting animal products by buying them so she is just acting in accordance with her beliefs. YABU to expect her to support the animal product industry because you're too small minded to try the chocs before dismissing them as horrible. I'm gluten free and dairy free so eat a lot of vegan stuff and it can be amazing! Some is not great In the same way as some dairy stuff is not great but can't you just accept it as a brand you haven't tried yet and try it? I've just done Xmas gluten abs dairy free and I can certainly say I haven't missed out at all.... bendicks mint choc anyone? Grin
Oh crikey, I am now "small minded"; another insult to add to the ever-growing list tonight! Please read my responses and hopefully your opinion of me will change Smile

I had no issue about the chocolate being vegan. If you read my responses you'll see what I was getting at. BTW I have tried the chocolate and it is bloody lovely! Will be wolfing it down in front of the telly tonight!

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 20:43

@christmasathomeagain

Why can't you eat it? Just because it is vegan doesn't mean only vegans can eat it. YABVU and ungrateful.
The issue has been resolved now before you waded in with your comment.
OP posts:
Shadow21 · 30/12/2020 20:44

OMG. You are being so silly.

Is this a reverse?

It’s not a vegan version of chocolate, it is just normal chocolate. Lots of chocolate is vegan by default, because not all chocolate contains milk. It has not had any special ingredients added, or undergone any special processing to make it vegan. It’s just vegan by default. A bit like an apple is vegan or a packet of crisp is vegans, you don’t even think about it. Calling it vegan chocolate is like saying you are about to have vegan apple or a vegan packet of crisp.

Do try it, you will most likely find it tastes like normal chocolate and enjoy it.

And of course your vegan friend doesn’t want to spend her hard earned money on something that she believe to be inherently immoral. Who would? Just goes without saying.

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 20:44

@PastaAndPizzaPlease

But if she is vegan, why on earth would she buy non vegan things? That’s a bit contrary to the whole idea...
Yes - I understand this now. I hold up my hands and admit I was being VERY unreasonable.
OP posts:
stevalnamechanger · 30/12/2020 20:47

Sorry but you sound rude af . She probably wouldn't spend her money on animal products etc .

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 20:48

@Shadow21

OMG. You are being so silly.

Is this a reverse?

It’s not a vegan version of chocolate, it is just normal chocolate. Lots of chocolate is vegan by default, because not all chocolate contains milk. It has not had any special ingredients added, or undergone any special processing to make it vegan. It’s just vegan by default. A bit like an apple is vegan or a packet of crisp is vegans, you don’t even think about it. Calling it vegan chocolate is like saying you are about to have vegan apple or a vegan packet of crisp.

Do try it, you will most likely find it tastes like normal chocolate and enjoy it.

And of course your vegan friend doesn’t want to spend her hard earned money on something that she believe to be inherently immoral. Who would? Just goes without saying.

Please read my posts - I shouldn't have to explain myself again but:

I had NO issue with the chocolate being vegan. I just was a bit miffed that she had bought me something that would be ideal for her, not myself. However I've had a complete attitude readjustment now (thanks to the folk of AIBU!) and realise how stupid and narrow-minded I was being.

I've tried it and can honestly say the chocolate is incredible Smile

OP posts:
NewPapaGuinea · 30/12/2020 20:48

“Hmm vegan chocolates. Not sure I’ll like them, but rather than trying a piece to see, I’ll create a MN thread bemoaning I’ve been gifted vegan chocolate.”

Bat. Shit. Crazy.

grapewine · 30/12/2020 20:49

@FrostyChocolateMilkshake

The brand is Oh My Goodness.

May be an Etsy brand, not too sure. Very good though!

Thanks for sharing the name of the brand. Glad you tried and liked it. Enjoy!
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 20:50

@stevalnamechanger

Sorry but you sound rude af . She probably wouldn't spend her money on animal products etc .
Don't make assumptions about me based on one Mumsnet post. I am not rude. If anything I am kind and considerate of others. I'm pretty sure millions of other people on this planet have been a bit "underwhelmed" at gifts they've received (including my friend). 🙂
OP posts:
ittakes2 · 30/12/2020 20:51

Do you realise that most chocolate is gluten free? Gluten is in wheat, barley, oats etc - not often used in chocolates even the fillings.
Plus good quality chocolate is also often vegan. Chocolate is made from cacao beans - the cheaper chocolates have diary added.

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 20:51

@NewPapaGuinea

“Hmm vegan chocolates. Not sure I’ll like them, but rather than trying a piece to see, I’ll create a MN thread bemoaning I’ve been gifted vegan chocolate.”

Bat. Shit. Crazy.

I'm bat-shit crazy now? Wow, some people really know how to make a lady feel good! Confused
OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 20:51

@grapewine you're welcome! They are gorgeous.

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 30/12/2020 20:52

I always admire someone who can admit they were wrong. Glad you enjoyed them (and learned something).