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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Vegan gift.

531 replies

FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:11

It was my birthday over the Christmas period; my friend - who is quite the "militant vegan" - has sent me some chocolates through the post which is really lovely and thoughtful of her.

However upon opening the chocolate I have found that it is vegan and gluten-free. I am neither of these things. I'm grateful for the thought but sadly this gift will go to waste as it is not something I'd eat.

I probably sound massively ungrateful but I really do appreciate the thought - the only reason I'm a bit irked by it is because I bend over backwards to only buy vegan, ethical products for my friend that I know she will use. She hasn't reciprocated this and has instead bought me something she would like, not me.

AIBU or just truthful? My DH understands why I am put out but I feel really ungrateful - if anything I'm more annoyed that this gift will go unused and my friend will have ultimately wasted her money.

OP posts:
Nosenseofhumour · 30/12/2020 19:05

@londongirl12 rtt

SpookyCookyMammaBear · 30/12/2020 19:06

Are you daft?
Of course she won't want to buy you anything that isn't vegan, she doesn't want to contribute to the harm of animals.
Your being unbelievably ridiculous.
Vegan chocolate is really light and delicious.

RaininSummer · 30/12/2020 19:06

Can't wait for the verdict. Well done OP for taking the valid points made on board.

LongPauseNoAnswer · 30/12/2020 19:07

My 90% Lindt chocolate is gluten free and vegan.

I am keto carnivore - I don't eat any plant material besides the bit of cacao beans that are in the chocolate. I am the exact opposite of vegan but I don't hold it against my chocolate Grin

CrazyToast · 30/12/2020 19:09

@TheOneLeggedJockey Hahaha I was on page 3, misread that there were only 3 pages and posted. Now I see there were actually 13 pages and i missed alot!

OP what where the chocolates? Always looking for some good vegan stuff.

An0n0n0n · 30/12/2020 19:09

Yabu. You wouldnt expect her to send you steak so think about that. Dairy is as important to her meat so look at it from her pov.

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 19:11

The brand is Oh My Goodness.

May be an Etsy brand, not too sure. Very good though!

OP posts:
An0n0n0n · 30/12/2020 19:11

If they are booja she has spent a small fortune on them and you are very lucky!!

cricketmum84 · 30/12/2020 19:16

Ridiculous. Would you refuse an apple because it's "vegan food"

People really can be so pathetic!

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 19:16

@RaininSummer

Can't wait for the verdict. Well done OP for taking the valid points made on board.
Thank you 😃 the Chocs are gorgeous!
OP posts:
cricketmum84 · 30/12/2020 19:18

@FrostyChocolateMilkshake

The brand is Oh My Goodness.

May be an Etsy brand, not too sure. Very good though!

Might be treating myself to some of these then!!
TheOneLeggedJockey · 30/12/2020 19:19

@cricketmum84

Ridiculous. Would you refuse an apple because it's "vegan food"

People really can be so pathetic!

Yes, they sure are piling onto this thread!
OhNoItsADalek · 30/12/2020 19:22

Does chocolate count as one of your five a day? Asking for a friend.

emilyfrost · 30/12/2020 19:23

YANBU. She’s just being sanctimonious and trying to push her silly veganism on you. I’d just put it straight in the bin out of principle.

OhNoItsADalek · 30/12/2020 19:24

@emilyfrost

YANBU. She’s just being sanctimonious and trying to push her silly veganism on you. I’d just put it straight in the bin out of principle.
RTFT. The OP has tried the chocolates and she really likes them.
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 19:24

@cricketmum84

Ridiculous. Would you refuse an apple because it's "vegan food"

People really can be so pathetic!

Yes, I would "refuse an apple" Hmm

Damn vegans and their plant-loving ways.

OP posts:
misskatamari · 30/12/2020 19:25

Oh thank god you've eaten them and updated! I have just become ridiculously over invested in finding out what you thought of these chocolates!

And let's shout it louder for the people at the back "RTFT PEOPLE!" Or at least the OPs responses, before you come on being a nasty mare, when she's already, very graciously, taken on board many comments telling her she was being a bit of a bellend. Enjoy your chocolates, they sound gorgeous and I am very jealous

Piglet208 · 30/12/2020 19:27

I'm glad you liked the chocolates. Well done for listening to the comments and accepting you had been hasty. Just another thought. Probably every present that your friend has ever bought you has been vegan. It's just that as a food item, this one is labelled clearly. I doubt you have ever been given cosmetics tested on animals, leather goods or a wool jumper.

Whiskeylover45 · 30/12/2020 19:28

I get that. I tried vegan chocolate once and it had no taste whatsoever. It's fine she's a vegan, it's fine you aren't. But in this case she's pushing her views on you which is not ok. Like PP if it were me and a friend had a different lifestyle choice, I just wouldn't buy them a food related gift. It just seems it more to make a point than anything

OhNoItsADalek · 30/12/2020 19:31

@Whiskeylover45

I get that. I tried vegan chocolate once and it had no taste whatsoever. It's fine she's a vegan, it's fine you aren't. But in this case she's pushing her views on you which is not ok. Like PP if it were me and a friend had a different lifestyle choice, I just wouldn't buy them a food related gift. It just seems it more to make a point than anything
Except the OP has tried them and really likes them.

And vegan chocolate is just chocolate.

TheOneLeggedJockey · 30/12/2020 19:34

@Whiskeylover45

I get that. I tried vegan chocolate once and it had no taste whatsoever. It's fine she's a vegan, it's fine you aren't. But in this case she's pushing her views on you which is not ok. Like PP if it were me and a friend had a different lifestyle choice, I just wouldn't buy them a food related gift. It just seems it more to make a point than anything
Yeah, none of that applies in this case. Which RTFT, or at least the OP’s posts, often helps reveal.
giantangryrooster · 30/12/2020 19:34

@FrostyChocolateMilkshake

My issue isn't necessarily that the chocolate is vegan.

It's the fact I bend over backwards to buy vegan products for her because I respect the fact she is vegan. This hasn't been reciprocated.

Although I can see now I am being hugely unreasonable and probably sound very immature! I'll just shut the fuck up and eat the chocolate I think.

Thanks to everyone who has responded, even the mean ones. Smile

I understand and would feel the same op Blush.

Actually I've promised myself to stay off vegan threads, just felt sorry for you Grin.

SpookyCookyMammaBear · 30/12/2020 19:35

@emilyfrost

Omg I despair!
The world really is f*ed

Ginfordinner · 30/12/2020 19:36

I tried vegan chocolate once

Which brand did you try? Unless you just don't like plain chocolate then I don't think you are being fair to write off all vegan chocolate, because they don't all taste the same.

Just found these reviews:

Best overall chocolate bar: Nomo Caramel and Sea Salt | £0.90
Best coffee chocolate: Chocolate and Love Dark Coffee | £3.20
Best hazelnut bar: Vego Organic Hazelnut | £2.20
Best orange chocolate: Willie's Cacao Luscious Orange | £2
Best vegan truffles: Booja Booja Fine de Champagne | £10
Best vegan hamper: Divine Vegan Tasting Hamper | £30
MotherToBee · 30/12/2020 19:37

Sense a lot of angry Vegans on this post OP Grin
YANBU at all.
If I was you next time buy your friend non vegan gifts see how they react Wink