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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Whose turn was it?

129 replies

Gleps · 29/12/2020 22:17

Every night me and DH alternate who puts the toddler to bed and who puts the baby to bed. Baby is much easier than the toddler who tries every delay tactic possible during toilet, teeth and story time.

Two nights ago I put the toddler to bed and DH put the baby to bed. Last night toddler stayed at my sisters house. (We’ve bubbled up due to the having a baby under 1 year old rule). I’d ordered takeaway for my dinner and it arrived after 2 hours, right as the baby needed to go to bed. So DH did it begrudgingly.

So tonight it gets to bed time and DH tries to say that it’s my turn to put the toddler to bed as he put the baby to bed the night before. I’m like nooo putting the toddler to bed is your job tonight as I did it last.

We’re having a very light hearted debate about this and decided to turn to mumsnet to settle the argument. So:

Yabu- it was my turn to put the toddler to bed
Yanbu- it was Dh’s turn to put the toddler to bed

OP posts:
ButterMeUpScotty · 29/12/2020 22:19

Sorry about your takeaway but it was so your turn. Too bad so sad as we say hereGrin

FestiveStuffing · 29/12/2020 22:22

I'd say that the toddler is the chore under debate here- baby is irrelevant. So, as you did it last, it was DH's turn this time.

Seeline · 29/12/2020 22:24

How sad no one wants to put the toddler to bed ☹️

AJ1425 · 29/12/2020 22:27

Your husbands. And I know the feeling. You both got a night off last night, he doesn't get to skip his turn.

catpoooffender · 29/12/2020 22:28

Your turn. You had the night off last night and DH did the baby even though food had arrived. So only fair for you to do toddler.

Original poster
Gleps · 29/12/2020 22:29

@FestiveStuffing exactly my point!! I’d happily put the baby to bed every night.

If it’s my turn with the toddler again then I’ve not gained anything in terms of her bed time routine, I’ve just had my usual night off. Where as if it was DH’s turn then we both have had two nights off rather than one.

OP posts:
user1473878824 · 29/12/2020 22:29

@Seeline

How sad no one wants to put the toddler to bed ☹️
Oh god come on bed time is a chore.
Imiss2019 · 29/12/2020 22:29

Deffo your turn as you had a night off from all bed time duties last night and I say that as someone who used to pretend to be asleep so DH would get up with the ds2 who was a frequent night waker so I know a sneaky CF when I see one Grin

reginaphalangeeee · 29/12/2020 22:30

I would say it’s your turn. The toddler stayed away on your husbands night and now it’s back to you.

cariadlet · 29/12/2020 22:31

I agree with those who say that as putting the toddler to bed is the trickier job and you did it last, then it's your dh's turn to put the toddler to bed tonight.

NoKnit · 29/12/2020 22:33

Good grief you do both realise that your kids will grow up (before the pair of you) soon and then in all honesty putting a toddler to bed will seem like a breeze

Stanleyville · 29/12/2020 22:33

Your turn

Original poster
Gleps · 29/12/2020 22:35

@reginaphalangeeee so do I just make sure all sleepovers at my sisters fall when it’s my turn so that I do benefit? I don’t like the thought of living like that!

Can I just clarify putting the baby to bed literally means putting her in her grow bag and putting her in her cot. There are no battles, pjs and bum were already done, she’d had her last feed already and she self settles.

OP posts:
sunshinel · 29/12/2020 22:37

DH's turn, especially if baby is easy to go to bed. As you say, he will have had 2 nights off. Or say you'll do toddler tonight then he does 2 nights in a row?!

Milkshake7489 · 29/12/2020 22:38

Sorry OP, I'm with your husband on this one.

You had last night completely off whilst he put the baby to bed. He should get the easiest child tonight (but here's a glass of wine for after Wine)

reginaphalangeeee · 29/12/2020 22:41

[quote Gleps]@reginaphalangeeee so do I just make sure all sleepovers at my sisters fall when it’s my turn so that I do benefit? I don’t like the thought of living like that!

Can I just clarify putting the baby to bed literally means putting her in her grow bag and putting her in her cot. There are no battles, pjs and bum were already done, she’d had her last feed already and she self settles.[/quote]
I think I would try have some sort of equal split of what night the toddler has a sleepover so then you each have turns of a night off.

ElfAndSafetyInspector · 29/12/2020 22:42

DH's turn. Your sister took your turn for you last night - if it had been 'his' night she'd have taken his turn for him.

Original poster
Gleps · 29/12/2020 22:43

🙄 to the people making out I don’t love and appreciate my time with my kids. Are you really telling me you enjoy dealing with toddler tantrums?! She’s in a phase where she doesn’t want to go to bed as she thinks she’s missing out and EVERY NIGHT ends in a tantrum. We deal with it but after a long day of a toddler and a new born, do you really blame us for not wanting to go into battle with a tired toddler fighting bedtime?

OP posts:
Bowerbird5 · 29/12/2020 22:44

Poor kids. My DH worked away from home for 35 years. I put our 4 children to bed most nights. I never felt it was a chore. I read to them for at least half an hour each night after
Some people like one of my sisters would love to be able to put children to bed.

CharlottaCarlotta · 29/12/2020 22:45

Play rock, paper, scissors to decide.

reginaphalangeeee · 29/12/2020 22:45

Here we go again, a race to the bottom 🙄 heaven forbid someone finds parenting difficult.

Bookworming · 29/12/2020 22:46

I am totally with @CharlottaCarlotta ! It's the only way forward!

HugeAckmansWife · 29/12/2020 22:48

Oh do bugger off bowerbird. That's all really.

PinkiOcelot · 29/12/2020 22:48

Jesus. Some people always try to race to the bottom!

PinkiOcelot · 29/12/2020 22:49

The above was directed at you @Bowerbird5