Whose turn was it?

[Gleps]

Every night me and DH alternate who puts the toddler to bed and who puts the baby to bed. Baby is much easier than the toddler who tries every delay tactic possible during toilet, teeth and story time.

Two nights ago I put the toddler to bed and DH put the baby to bed. Last night toddler stayed at my sisters house. (We’ve bubbled up due to the having a baby under 1 year old rule). I’d ordered takeaway for my dinner and it arrived after 2 hours, right as the baby needed to go to bed. So DH did it begrudgingly.

So tonight it gets to bed time and DH tries to say that it’s my turn to put the toddler to bed as he put the baby to bed the night before. I’m like nooo putting the toddler to bed is your job tonight as I did it last.

We’re having a very light hearted debate about this and decided to turn to mumsnet to settle the argument. So:

Yabu- it was my turn to put the toddler to bed
Yanbu- it was Dh’s turn to put the toddler to bed

I’d happily put the baby to bed every night.

Except for last night when your DH took your turn. You now need to be the one to take one for the team.

It would have been DH’s turn but you made him put baby to bed (when it was your turn) when takeaway had just arrived, so you owe him.

It's exhausting trying to get children to sleep that don't want to go to sleep! Do you deal with the children in the night too OP or is that split? If you took the toddler to bed tonight then be sure to arrange every other sleep over for the night you were due to take the toddler.

Your turn. DH did the harder bedtime last night (baby more work then child who isn't there) so you get the harder tonight. Though I suspect one of you has done it by now anyway.

You had a takeaway and your night off from doing the baby even though it was your turn.

Sorry, but you’re on toddler duty.

I’m imagining @Bowerbird5 has a family like the Waltons

@Bowerbird5

Poor kids. My DH worked away from home for 35 years. I put our 4 children to bed most nights. I never felt it was a chore. I read to them for at least half an hour each night after Some people like one of my sisters would love to be able to put children to bed.

So what? You put your own children to bed. So did all of us. So is OP.

I feel more sorry for your children having a father who worked away from home for thirty five years than for dc with parents having a lighthearted debate about who gets the tougher bedtime.

@Bowerbird5

Poor kids. My DH worked away from home for 35 years. I put our 4 children to bed most nights. I never felt it was a chore. I read to them for at least half an hour each night after Some people like one of my sisters would love to be able to put children to bed.

Did your medal come by post or did you have to collect it?

OP has said how easy the baby is to go to sleep

If you think it's his turn to put toddler to bed tonight, you should've put the baby to bed last night.

Also if baby is as easy as you say, you still could have done it.

It’s a faff doing it even if it’s easy. Or at very least, more faff than not. You had a night off from everything and he didn’t even though he should have.

Your DH put the baby to bed last night when it should have been your turn. Your sister took your DH’s turn with the toddler so tonight should be your turn for the toddler again.

@reginaphalangeeee

Here we go again, a race to the bottom 🙄 heaven forbid someone finds parenting difficult.

Quite

If the baby's easy to put to sleep, it was totally sensible for your DH to have put the baby to sleep yesterday so you could enjoy your takeaway nice and hot.

In the ideal world, today, you would have said 'DH, it was so nice you put the baby down while I had my takeaway - would you like me to do the toddler today?' Then he should say either 'oh, no, it's fine, it's my turn and the baby is easy,' or 'actually, you know what, your takeaway was a bit of a treat so I'd be really glad if you would'.

It's not about whose 'turn' it is. It's about both of you feeling as if you're appreciated. When you have a child who sleeps badly you need to smother each other in appreciation, because otherwise it drives you mad.

@Bowerbird5, you are so lucky. It must have been such a privilege to be able to afford to have four children, and to be with them each night. I hope you thanked your husband enough! You are very fortunate, and it is a little rude to rub the OP's nose in your good luck.

Your turn, sorry OP. You had a night off last night, he still took a shift, even if it was an easy one.

Easy baby and difficult toddler bedtimes here too. Fortunately, the baby breastfeeds to sleep so I get the easy shift every night. DH is not so slowly losing his mind.

Hope you 're using better contraception now.

@Bowerbird5 what a nasty snippy response to a light hearted thread. How did your sister feel about you having four children? I'm assuming your essentially sole parenting meant you never once were exasperated with one of your four children? You raised four angels that you devoted every minute too and attended to their every need?

You either raised them with an iron hand or you're not being honest.

YABU to have had a takeaway by yourself - sounds like your DH did not have one. That would have caused the row in our house - not who needed to put a child to bed

Your newborn settles very easily!!

I'm jealous.

@GonnaBeYoniThisChristmas Haha DH wasn’t hungry at the same time as me so said he’d order himself something later.

Never did we think it would take two hours to arrive! Last time I use a free delivery offer.

@Gleps please listen to @CharlottaCarlotta and mine idea, it's totally the way forward!

Many a tricky decision decided in my house this way!

@Crunchymum she really does but that doesn’t mean she stays asleep for long. I’m lucky to get a 4 hour block out of her.

Who gets up with the baby? That should also have some baring on things?

I get up with the baby as I am breastfeeding but DH gets up with the toddler in the morning so I can get an extra hour.

I think @Bookworming is right, Rock Paper Scissors is the only way forward in future

YABU
with your DH on this one