Whose turn was it?

[Gleps]

Every night me and DH alternate who puts the toddler to bed and who puts the baby to bed. Baby is much easier than the toddler who tries every delay tactic possible during toilet, teeth and story time.

Two nights ago I put the toddler to bed and DH put the baby to bed. Last night toddler stayed at my sisters house. (We’ve bubbled up due to the having a baby under 1 year old rule). I’d ordered takeaway for my dinner and it arrived after 2 hours, right as the baby needed to go to bed. So DH did it begrudgingly.

So tonight it gets to bed time and DH tries to say that it’s my turn to put the toddler to bed as he put the baby to bed the night before. I’m like nooo putting the toddler to bed is your job tonight as I did it last.

We’re having a very light hearted debate about this and decided to turn to mumsnet to settle the argument. So:

Yabu- it was my turn to put the toddler to bed
Yanbu- it was Dh’s turn to put the toddler to bed

@Seeline

How sad no one wants to put the toddler to bed ☹️

But how very human! If you've ever tried to put a reluctant toddler to bed, you get it.

However, OP, your turn. He missed hot food, freshly delivered last night. Strictly speaking, maybe his turn, but remember that you ate hot, fresh food and he did not, and give in with good grace.

I do think it's your DH's turn to put toddler to bed as putting baby to bed was very easy anyway (from what you said!) so he almost did no work when you had the "time off".

It was your turn to put the baby to bed last night. But he did it for you so you had a full night off from putting anyone to bed. So it was your turn for the harder child tonight. Would you rather put the toddler to bed or leave your dinner going cold so you can put the baby to bed on your assigned night? You cant have the best of both nights.

Hang on all the "it's your turn OP", you ate hot four, you said it was easy, you've had a night off, your turn.

Ok to the ones that have been nice but things like

It was your turn to put the baby to bed last night. But he did it for you so you had a full night off from putting anyone to bed. So it was your turn for the harder child tonight. Would you rather put the toddler to bed or leave your dinner going cold so you can put the baby to bed on your assigned night? You cant have the best of both nights.

Or

It’s a faff doing it even if it’s easy. Or at very least, more faff than not. You had a night off from everything and he didn’t even though he should have.

The OP when pushed for a answer actually is breastfeeding the baby who wakes every four hours or less, therefore she didn't get any night off.

This was a light hearted thread, with the OP not bringing in this fact but honestly some of you are so judgemental!

Having said all that rock, paper, stove is still the way forward!

Do you always do things separately from each other?

@ineedaholidaynow what an odd question to a light hearted thread! Do you and your DP/H always do things together, does he insist that you can't do things separately? Do you want to do things separately and he won't let you?

OP had stated he wasn't hungry, so she ordered a take away, she's stated this was light hearted!

I know from my breast feeding says I ate like a horse and wow betide anyone who tried to stop
Me 😂!

Please don't make this sinister, it's not!

It was your turn, OP sorry. And yes, with a toddler/child it's a chore.
TBH it's a chore with my 8 yo who will invariably want a drink/certain puffy thing/still come down later on/want to know what we're doing tomorrow(nothing as usual) and still not go to sleep and be grumpy.
Yes @ineedaholidaynow why on earth would you both want to put both children down?

Grow up

I'm sad for your toddler having two parents who are arguing over not doing bedtime.

Omg it'd be so much easier to just do it. I wouldn't have the energy

Oh, come on, people, be nice!

It can absolutely fray your nerves to breaking point if you have a truly awful toddler, surely?

Maybe she kicks off etc as she is picking up your bad vibes about putting her to bed.

We’re having a very light hearted debate about this and decided to turn to mumsnet to settle the argument.

And

I'm sad for your toddler having two parents who are arguing over not doing bedtime.

These two posts taken from the same thread...

Some posters on MN only want to read about nastiness, arguments and horrible situations!

They just ignore the OP and make it up as they go along!

Heaven forbid a loving couple and family can have a light hearted discussion! Not be hating each other or neglecting their children.

I've never ordered a takeaway at a totally different time from DH if we are both in the house at the same time, but maybe that is because where we live there aren't that many options so we don't have one very often, so it would be a treat so odd to eat at different times.

We only had one DC so we would both read to them most nights. One would do the actual bedtime routine whilst the other cooked/tidied up, and then would nip up to read a book before lights out. If DC was being a pain then we would share the wrangling.

@ineedaholidaynow

Do you always do things separately from each other?

I take it you don't have more than one child @ineedaholidaynow.

Life is much easier when one of you focuses on one child. We did the same when our DC were little.

@AJ1425

Your husbands. And I know the feeling. You both got a night off last night, he doesn't get to skip his turn.

DH didn't get a night off, he put the baby to bed whilst op got stuck into take out

All 4 of you are probably asleep by now, so why am I'm thinking about what's fair? 😂

No matter which way I look at this, your sister can only relieve 1 of you - so I suggest that next time, whoever put the toddler to bed tonight gets the benefit... though if the toddler is as hard work for your sister SS she is at home, that person might be waiting for a very long time 🤣

'This too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass... and a lovely bottle of wine in the fridge got me through two year olds bedtime hell'

@ineedaholidaynow

Do you always do things separately from each other?

So you and your DH computer each other around the house to do everything together every day?

@SleepingStandingUp OP didn't get a night off, she breastfed during the night.

@ineedaholidaynow so you've never ordered a takeaway without your DH? So what? Does that make you right? What happened if you wanted Chinese and him Indian? How did you decide? You seem aghast that a woman could decide she was hungry her DH not and just go ahead and deal with it?

Your bedtime routine of your only child is not relevant either,

You sound downtrodden!

How sad no one wants to put the toddler to bed ☹️

Get a grip. It must be exhausting being this suspicious and looking for fault in every tiny little thing. Relax.

@Bookworming no I have never ordered a takeaway separate from DH if he is at home and the different types of takeaway would not be an option, as I said the offer here is very limited, so Indian or nothing!

Poor kids. My DH worked away from home for 35 years. I put our 4 children to bed most nights. I never felt it was a chore. I read to them for at least half an hour each night after
Some people like one of my sisters would love to be able to put children to bed.

Oh your poor kids. Is it just other mothers you pour scorn on or did you save some for your husband who managed to wangle out of parenting his own children?

@ineedaholidaynow but what's so wrong of OP to order herself a takeaway if her DH wasn't hungry? So seem quiet shocked by this?

[quote Bookworming]@SleepingStandingUp OP didn't get a night off, she breastfed during the night. [/quote]
Yeah I saw that later, I think as uses bfing through the night DH should do toddler every night