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AIBU?

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Original poster

Emotional abuse in Harry Potter

516 replies

MrsRogerLima · 29/12/2020 08:58

Don't get me wrong, I love Harry Potter but I never thought about the Ron/Hermione thing this way before and she is SO RIGHT.

AIBU to think this is irresponsible in children's literature?

www.bustle.com/articles/198364-ron-hermiones-relationship-in-harry-potter-wasnt-just-disappointing-but-dangerous

OP posts:
Wheresmykimchi · 29/12/2020 21:49

@SchrodingersImmigrant

The whole 'we'll end up with a pair of trolls' Yule ball attitude. I took it as actual trolls😂
So did I
TheBuffster · 29/12/2020 21:52

The birds flying is in response to the Lavender flaunting. I can't remember but in the text I believe it's an example of her losing her s* i.e not a spell but an outburst.
Tbh Hermione could go over to Voldemort and I'd still champion her. I'm probably not the best person to pull apart all her behaviour as I'm totally biased. She saved both their asses enough times to have a bit of a diva moment. Plus facilitates both Harry's relationships. Plus hit Malfoy.
What's not to love?

SchrodingersImmigrant · 29/12/2020 21:53

I am glad I wasn't the only one @Wheresmykimchi.

Wheresmykimchi · 29/12/2020 22:01

@TheBuffster

The birds flying is in response to the Lavender flaunting. I can't remember but in the text I believe it's an example of her losing her s* i.e not a spell but an outburst. Tbh Hermione could go over to Voldemort and I'd still champion her. I'm probably not the best person to pull apart all her behaviour as I'm totally biased. She saved both their asses enough times to have a bit of a diva moment. Plus facilitates both Harry's relationships. Plus hit Malfoy. What's not to love?
I love Hermione. But she's hardly a poor soul of abusive Ron.
PoleToPole · 29/12/2020 22:13

I think its actually very important for childrens` literature to show less perfect relationships. My DC love Harry Potter, but all commented on the unhealthy relationship between Hermione and Ron and said there is no way they would want a relationship like that.

To be fair, Lily and James Potter don`t seem to have had the healthiest relationship either, nor Remus and Dora, though for different reasons.

My DD is now reading Stephanie Meyer`s Twilight series, that is just one big bag of bad romance, but its been brilliant to open up a dialogue and discuss with her what is wrong with the relationships it portrays, what the red flags are, what the characters could have done differently and so on.

Historically childrens` stories were always intended to pass on messages and be cautionary, not just entertaining, I would say its a positive thing if they can still be used in such a way.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 29/12/2020 22:17

Harry and Ginny's relationship bothers me a lot more . Especially since Harry can be a dick ,cut people off, thinks he knows best,martyr syndrome etc and Ginny is quite meek and in awe with him. If you're really looking for abuse or the possibility of it, there's a lot more potential there.

Yes Ron is a dick, but he's a dick to everyone and pretty consistent with it. Immature,tantrumy, all over the place, massively insecure etc. He never pretends to be anything else .

Wheresmykimchi · 29/12/2020 22:19

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

Harry and Ginny's relationship bothers me a lot more . Especially since Harry can be a dick ,cut people off, thinks he knows best,martyr syndrome etc and Ginny is quite meek and in awe with him. If you're really looking for abuse or the possibility of it, there's a lot more potential there.

Yes Ron is a dick, but he's a dick to everyone and pretty consistent with it. Immature,tantrumy, all over the place, massively insecure etc. He never pretends to be anything else .

I am a massive lover of the books but I cant abide Harry Xmas Angry
CandyLeBonBon · 29/12/2020 22:24

Yes. I find Ginny and Harry's relationship the most difficult. She's passive and voiceless. I don't get it.

OutComeTheWolves · 29/12/2020 22:24

I think it's to JKR's credit as an author that 23 years after the first book was published, it's still relevant enough to warrant such a lively discussion.

TheBuffster · 29/12/2020 22:25

No, I don't think she's a lost soul.
I don't like Ron as a character though and don't think him and Hermione are very well matched. I don't 'ship' Harry either though so I don't know who'd be her equal.

Neville a right old duffer.

Krum's kind of sexy in a brooding kinda way, but would get annoying when they couldn't converse.

Diggory is a bit of a looker but a bit too clean cut.

Charlie Weasley seems quite cool but we don't get to know much about it.

Bill Weasley is taken.

Oliver Wood would bore the pants off her with quidditch talk.

Poor Hermy, Hogwarts pin ups thin on the ground.

TheBuffster · 29/12/2020 22:28

Book Ginny was done a disservice by the movies though. Harry's obviously punching above his weight, but you can see that they do have a bit in common. Both stubborn, quidditch fans and relatively magically talented.

TheBuffster · 29/12/2020 22:33

@PoleToPole I'm glad you're having the Twilight talk. I think that and 50 Shades are really problematic and I worry about impressionable teens reading it.
Also, they're terribly written in my opinion. All that present tense and moping around. Yeuech.

PoleToPole · 29/12/2020 22:35

I agree, I don`t much like Harry either, or Ron for that matter. All of the main male characters seem to have rather major character flaws, even the more likeable ones such as Sirius and Remus.

Thewithesarehere · 29/12/2020 22:36

@OutComeTheWolves

I think it's to JKR's credit as an author that 23 years after the first book was published, it's still relevant enough to warrant such a lively discussion.
This.
TheBuffster · 29/12/2020 22:37

What does everyone think would've happened if Lily had chosen Snape, not James?

PoleToPole · 29/12/2020 22:39

@TheBuffster thanks, I have read them myself, and I actually think they are an excellent cautionary tale for girls to read Grin

Not the intention of them obviously, but they are brilliant at illustrating different kinds of shitty relationships, and not just Bella/Edward/Jacob, all of the other relationships are equally unhealthy, Rose and Emmett perhaps a bit less so.

PoleToPole · 29/12/2020 22:40

And yes, I cannot stand 50 Shades.

CandyLeBonBon · 29/12/2020 22:40

@TheBuffster

What does everyone think would've happened if Lily had chosen Snape, not James?
But lily didnt 'love' snape, did she? She cared for him. They were enormously close friends but she wasn't in love with him.
TheBuffster · 29/12/2020 22:41

I'm ashamed to say I read all the series too. It's like having a can of stale Pringles once you start...

bluebluezoo · 29/12/2020 22:42

I thought James was a bit of a bully. Much preferred Snape. Lily was basically your average popular girl who wanted the football player of equal social standing, not the weird bullied nerd.

You can see JK has some issues around relationships and men...

itssquidstella · 29/12/2020 22:43

Harry should have ended up with Draco, of course.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 29/12/2020 22:43

@TheBuffster

No, I don't think she's a lost soul. I don't like Ron as a character though and don't think him and Hermione are very well matched. I don't 'ship' Harry either though so I don't know who'd be her equal.

Neville a right old duffer.

Krum's kind of sexy in a brooding kinda way, but would get annoying when they couldn't converse.

Diggory is a bit of a looker but a bit too clean cut.

Charlie Weasley seems quite cool but we don't get to know much about it.

Bill Weasley is taken.

Oliver Wood would bore the pants off her with quidditch talk.

Poor Hermy, Hogwarts pin ups thin on the ground.

And that's the real issue. Hermione did not need a husband. Her personality was not geared for it, particularly not fresh out of school.

Her becoming a Hogwarts teacher, exploring the world to write her own book would be more fitting or similar. Her thirst for knowledge and wanting to learn and know more about everything and anything purely for the pleasure of it ,her ambition was what really set her aside from everyone else.
A relationship with Ron would've been ok, after all they grew up together,there kinda was something there,they trauma bonded. But she did not have to stay with him or "settle down " young like the rest of them did.

TheBuffster · 29/12/2020 22:44

Yeah but in a parallel universe.
Snape marries Lily.
Harry never born.
Voldemort goes after Summer born Neville.
Neville becomes the boy that lived.

It's fun to imagine.

Thewithesarehere · 29/12/2020 22:45

@bluebluezoo

I thought James was a bit of a bully. Much preferred Snape. Lily was basically your average popular girl who wanted the football player of equal social standing, not the weird bullied nerd.

You can see JK has some issues around relationships and men...

We wouldn’t have known this if you hadnt pointed it out, right? The insinuation that loads of us have seen Harry Potter characters as either heroes or villains is really childish and patronising.
TheBuffster · 29/12/2020 22:46

Yeah, I'd have preferred a single Hermione. Like the ending of Buffy. She was strong enough to be on her own. Great message, not so much for shippers.

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