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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to not understand why dog owners let their dogs sleep with them in bed?

331 replies

firthy85 · 27/12/2020 18:14

to get things straight i am a pet lover and grew up with many different dog breeds. some with great personalities of their own and good company but they are pets at the end of the day right?. i never had any problem if a dog wanted to sleep in my bedroom but they had a dog's bed. surely encouraging a dog to sleep in your bed is setting the dog up for a fall? god forbid something ever happened to you as the owner and the dog had to be rehomed it could be a nightmare for the dog's new owner if they are strict about dog/human boundaries. so what do you think?

OP posts:
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11
Cleverpolly3 · 27/12/2020 23:10

@stackemhigh

I love dogs but don't think I could have one. I was at the park today and the dogs were having a great time jumping in the puddles, but they got so muddy!

Do the dogs get bathed every time they get mud on them? If not, wouldn't the carpets/sofa/bed get muddy?

Definitely don’t get a dog WinkGrin
Cleverpolly3 · 27/12/2020 23:11

@emilyfrost

Because the majority of animal owners struggle with boundaries and hygiene.
Yes of course we do Hmm
Cleverpolly3 · 27/12/2020 23:16

My dog doesn’t sleep with me but the best sleep I ever get is snuggled up on the sofa with her for an hour or two. She is so soft and smells like popcorn and is just the perfect size and weight . Her lovely rhythmic breathing and obvious contentment have such a relaxing effect on me I’m out for the count very quickly

Once when I was very poorly with the flu she laid by my side for hours ever day on my big sofa. She only got up to be taken for a walk then was straight back. My my said she literally watched over me when I was especially ill, one of her paws resting on me.

She is almost nine. I have had her since she was fourteen weeks old and has been the best friend I have ever had

littlealexhorne · 27/12/2020 23:36

Its funny, my dog was a rescue dog and she was so nervous that she wasn't getting much interest, because she just didn't really want to come near to the people who came to see her - she spent much of her time in her foster home hiding under a bed. We made up a nice bed for her but from night one she wanted to be in bed with me, how could I say no to that?

littlealexhorne · 27/12/2020 23:37

@Cleverpolly3

My dog doesn’t sleep with me but the best sleep I ever get is snuggled up on the sofa with her for an hour or two. She is so soft and smells like popcorn and is just the perfect size and weight . Her lovely rhythmic breathing and obvious contentment have such a relaxing effect on me I’m out for the count very quickly

Once when I was very poorly with the flu she laid by my side for hours ever day on my big sofa. She only got up to be taken for a walk then was straight back. My my said she literally watched over me when I was especially ill, one of her paws resting on me.

She is almost nine. I have had her since she was fourteen weeks old and has been the best friend I have ever had

Also, 100% this - there is no better smell than a sleepy, warm dogs tummy.
FangsForTheMemory · 27/12/2020 23:44

My cat is curled up against my bum as I type this. He’s cleaner than a lot of humans, perfectly continent and keeps me company. If he gets dribbly when he’s older, I’ll have a rethink, but not unless.

queenMab99 · 27/12/2020 23:45

My dog doesn't mind poo crumbs.

longcoffeebreak · 27/12/2020 23:45

I have a non-shedding miniature poodle and I keep his hair short and bath him very regularly. He smells nice and sleeps neatly.

The hair around his bottom is cut short almost by to the skin so no poo crumbs or cling-ons 😂

He sleeps on a throw on top of the covers which I wash regularly.

What is the problem with that?

6hoursawayfromdisaster · 27/12/2020 23:46

VetOnCall 5 dogs! Im so jealous, I want your dogs and your bed

FangsForTheMemory · 27/12/2020 23:46

@queenMab99 Grin

BeautifulandWilfulandDead · 27/12/2020 23:47

I have cats, not dogs, but they are excellent bed companions. There's nothing nicer than drifting off with a rumbling purr in your ear!

Beamur · 27/12/2020 23:52

One or two of my cats usually sneak in for a cuddle in the morning, there's nothing nicer than a little soft warm purry chum wedged under your arm to wake up to.

Cherrysoup · 27/12/2020 23:54

It's difficult to sleep while wearing a gas mask.

W.T.A.F??

Mine come up if invited. They act like strait jackets, tho, plus they starfish so I rarely ask them up. I usually switch rooms at about 4am because I don’t sleep well so I’m awake between 4-7.

TonytheDog · 27/12/2020 23:58

I'm not sure why it bothers you but I sleep with a dog and a cat in my bed. Sometimes the rabbit hops in too. They're all perfectly clean, my bed is perfectly clean. I might not always be able to straighten my legs out you get used to sleeping with crooked legs after a while.

DeRigueurMortis · 28/12/2020 00:03

Ok I'm probably the wrong person to comment given I'm allergic to most pets and as a result can't really stand cats/dogs.

That said I think many pet owners are in as much denial as smokers (who smoke inside - and for that matter at all) about how much they/their home stinks and is a haven for pet dander/hair/fleas or stale smoke/nicotine stains.

I've leaned my lesson a long time ago about people knowing my allergy promise their pet won't be allowed to come into contact with me and they'll clean everything and pet has never been in the guest bedroom etc ... only to find pet hairs not only on the guest bed but actually feeling shit the minute I walk through the door because it stinks of pet and I can see pet hair bloody everywhere.

Pets are mucky. They don't wash every day unless you count them licking their bums.

I wince when I see people kissing their pets. Gross.

Why the fuck would you want that in your bed?

A dead rotting sheep is warm and furry...you wouldn't want one as a hot water bottle.

I'd not tolerate a smelly unwashed husband in my bed either btw.

k1233 · 28/12/2020 00:18

I had someone tell me recently that letting the dog sleep on the bed makes it think it's equal with you. What a lot of BS. I gave my two dogs a command, which they executed perfectly, and said I'm pretty sure they know I'm the boss. Person really didn't have a comeback to that.

My two have their own beds nect to mine but will "sneak" on mine in the night. I say "sneak" because I like it and like my westie snuggling on my pillows.

PrtScn · 28/12/2020 00:26

My partner lets the dog sleep on the bed. I don’t like it, she snores, farts and licks her lady parts too often. They both now sleep in the spare room 🤣

Sparrowfeeder · 28/12/2020 00:50

Because I love her and it makes her happy because all she wants from life is to be near me. It helps that she is a dainty collie cross who avoids mud and keeps herself pretty clean. We started with a no dogs on the bed rule but it didn't last. She isn’t allowed at the head end or under the covers and there is a blanket for her to lie on.

goodwinter · 28/12/2020 00:58

@DeRigueurMortis

Ok I'm probably the wrong person to comment given I'm allergic to most pets and as a result can't really stand cats/dogs.

That said I think many pet owners are in as much denial as smokers (who smoke inside - and for that matter at all) about how much they/their home stinks and is a haven for pet dander/hair/fleas or stale smoke/nicotine stains.

I've leaned my lesson a long time ago about people knowing my allergy promise their pet won't be allowed to come into contact with me and they'll clean everything and pet has never been in the guest bedroom etc ... only to find pet hairs not only on the guest bed but actually feeling shit the minute I walk through the door because it stinks of pet and I can see pet hair bloody everywhere.

Pets are mucky. They don't wash every day unless you count them licking their bums.

I wince when I see people kissing their pets. Gross.

Why the fuck would you want that in your bed?

A dead rotting sheep is warm and furry...you wouldn't want one as a hot water bottle.

I'd not tolerate a smelly unwashed husband in my bed either btw.

I'm not in denial about pet hair etc in my bed (although he 100% doesn't have fleas) - I just don't care about it. My love for my dog is more important than hair-free sheets to me. So what? I also let him lick my face; again, I know it's unhygienic but it doesn't affect anyone else so it simply doesn't bother me 🤷 my dog is my best pal and seeing him happy gives me pure joy.
maddy68 · 28/12/2020 01:00

My two dogs share our bed. They keep my feet warm ☺️

Raggedydoll1 · 28/12/2020 01:03

I never used to until my ex left and I felt my world was falling apart. Ddog was all I had (is how it felt) and I wanted him near me.

MrsApplepants · 28/12/2020 01:05

My little smooth coated chihuahua sleeps in my bed with me. He doesn’t shed and hates mud and I wipe his bum with a baby wipe when he does a poo so he is very clean. In fact he just smells like clean laundry. He’s so lovely and I like that he is safe with me at night.

StillMedusa · 28/12/2020 01:13

Mine sleeps on the floor in my room, but jumps up for a morning cuddle some days. She's a bit big too sleep with us but frankly I can't see how she is any less hygienic than my snoring, farting husband!!
She is clean (hates rain, mud so rarely gets grubby) is showered regularly and smells of fresh fur...what's not to like?

My old Maine Coon cat used to sleep every night on my pillow with is paws round my neck and his furry face pressed up against mine. I never got sick and we both were very happy!

DimplesToadfoot · 28/12/2020 01:19

I'd have preferred my dog to sleep in her bed thats in the bedroom, my dog prefers to sleep in my bed. She's won that argument, I'm single. I live alone, I've no one to impress, I shower in the mornings and clean my sheets more than most, I'm hurting no one. She's hurting no one, so I don't see any problem with it and I don't care if anyone else does.

However when I fostered. The dogs that came to me were taught basic manners which included. Not jumping on the sofa and not to get on the bed. When they went to their new homes everyone of them has wormed their way into their owners bed and I love it :-)

DeRigueurMortis · 28/12/2020 01:19

I'm not in denial about pet hair etc in my bed (although he 100% doesn't have fleas) - I just don't care about it. My love for my dog is more important than hair-free sheets to me. So what? I also let him lick my face; again, I know it's unhygienic but it doesn't affect anyone else so it simply doesn't bother me 🤷 my dog is my best pal and seeing him happy gives me pure joy.

Fair enough Grin

Though I would say again that most people who feel like you are in denial about how it impacts other people.

I won't visit some friends homes any more because they share your views.

That said I am fully prepared to acknowledge they prioritise their pets over me and that's fine Grin.

What's irritating is when they think they aren't doing this or worse think I'm a drama queen because I don't want to suffer weeks of bleeding skin rashes and breathing problems because of sitting in a supposedly vacuumed/clean sofa that I find out it's obviously the pets best resting spot or shaking my hand/kissing my face after their dog has licked it and I come out with awful itchy hives within minutes.

I'm happy to meet at my house (without pets) or in a neutral location and don't want to deny the joy that pets give to their owners.

I'd just ask for some empathy to those people like myself who are allergic and imho pet owners don't take seriously.