aibu to not understand why dog owners let their dogs sleep with them in bed?

[firthy85]

to get things straight i am a pet lover and grew up with many different dog breeds. some with great personalities of their own and good company but they are pets at the end of the day right?. i never had any problem if a dog wanted to sleep in my bedroom but they had a dog's bed. surely encouraging a dog to sleep in your bed is setting the dog up for a fall? god forbid something ever happened to you as the owner and the dog had to be rehomed it could be a nightmare for the dog's new owner if they are strict about dog/human boundaries. so what do you think?

You are more likely to pick up said shit crumbs on a door handle, anywhere on public transport, on the shopping trolley’s handle and if you think your takeaway is safe from then then think again.

Correct, and on Money also. My dog sleeps with us, and I personally don't care what people think about it.

I rescue neglected & abused dogs & find with a fearful & insecure dog co-sleeping helps them understand they’re part of the pack & actually improves behaviour drastically

@firthy85

just to remind a few people that i did say i had grown up with dog's so i am not an mn dog hater. also to the people who say "make your family decisions around your dog" well not to be judgy at all but that sums up the problem. you make your dog decisions around your family surely? when your thinking of getting a dog so much has to be thought about do you have toddlers, what breed of dog would best suit your situation and the fact some of you don't mind the fact you for example may have a bitch who has had a jolly good ol lick of her minge then climbed into your bed makes me wonder what the rest of your house is like? environmental health would have a field day. jumping up and face licking is fine they jump up, you make a fuss of them then you say "down" sit stroking etc that is showing them you love them.ps to the people who asked why it bothered me um duh? is this not a forum where people ask all sorts of questions? parenting help,things that have happened to them,or just other random burning questions? surely

Honestly no, we do make our decisions around the dog. It's just us, we don't have kids, and he is our responsibility and priority. Obviously we chose a dog that fits with our lifestyle, but once we brought him home, we make our decisions around giving him a happy life. My house is kept pretty clean (although not to the standards of some people on MN clearly!) and I've never had environmental health round I honestly don't see the difference between having him on the bed or the sofa, although I know some people don't allow that either.

i am more than prepared to try and understand hense part of the reason for the post even though i don't agree. cant help thinking i am more worried about the idea some of you have about dog's pissing on the floor. if it's well trained that won't happen. only ever had 1 dog all my life that regularly pissed on the floor and we found out she had some bladder issues which were not going to get better. it was a mixture of that problem and age and sadly had to be pts

I am too obsessed with getting a good nights sleep to share my bed with a cat or dog or human!
I like the theory of sleeping with them but not the reality.

[quote Vitaminsss]@goodwinter I meant that as some people are overly close to their dogs eg kissing with tongue(🤮). This is just a perpetuation of that[/quote]
Wtf? I’ve never seen anyone do that.

Because that's where they prefer to sleep. They're part of the family to us and very much loved as our children. They have their own places on the bed (one in the middle of the bed, one sleeps in between my husbands legs 😂). At the end of the day, we have them for our happiness and pleasure, if you're not going to enjoy them in your own way 'just in case something happens and they need rehoming' then you're missing the point and will never fully enjoy them. But at the same time, I don't condemn people that choose not to have them sleep on their beds, it's each to their own.

See that’s the thing, people who love their dogs so much as to let them sleep on their bed may also be more inclined to keep a dog until very old age & mop up their wee, make them a nappy, accomodate their geriatric needs... give me an golden oldie incontinent dog with a myriad of health issues over a boisterous puppy any day.

“ god forbid something ever happened to you as the owner and the dog had to be rehomed it could be a nightmare for the dog's new owner if they are strict about dog/human boundaries.”

Seriously, this is so weird. Do you live your whole life like this?

As it happens, our dog had to stay with my MIL for a few months recently. The dog voluntarily slept on a dog bed in another room. The world did not end.

For the first couple of years she slept in her bed in the kitchen.

Then she was poorly and I let her sleep upstairs (it was that or me downstairs).

Since then she's either slept in her basket in our room or on the end of our bed (she gets on in the early hours and snuggles like she's cold).

Looking back I cannot believe I made her sleep downstairs on her own in the cold.

She's nearly 9 now

waterlego He doesn't look that small either 🤣

😬 Neither big nor small. He is the perfect size!

That's so lovely you have been able to give her a loving home @ArchieStar

I think alot of people would rather have their dog in the bed then their dh ,

omg really some of you saying rather have a dog than a partner omg seriously. bet your also the pp who watch your dog off lead bothering other people and saying awwww he's so cute awww! he's a member of the family so can't discipline him. he's a pet, he's a loving pet with his own personality but to suggest he should be ranked the same as your ds or dd,haven't heard anything like it in my life. my dog would have to get used to my kids not the other way round.

@CherryCherries

I think alot of people would rather have their dog in the bed then their dh ,

I wouldn’t blame them either. Give me a nice clean little dog over some of the nauseating specimens I see in my travels.

bet your also the pp who watch your dog off lead bothering other people and saying awwww he's so cute awww!

Well that’s just an assumption, isn’t it? I don’t allow my dog to bother people, no, because that is rude. I also didn’t let my children bother other people when they were little and more annoying. I’m a big fan of manners from both pets and people.

Dogs are generally much nicer than people though. They’re genuinely good-hearted. Many humans are arseholes.

my dog would have to get used to my kids not the other way round.

People with this view typically have children who haven’t been taught to behave appropriately around dogs, children who haven’t been taught about doggy body language and they’re often the ones who are allowed to approach and touch strange dogs.

Is this like "I think it's unfair to breastfeed in case you get hit by a bus and then the child will be upset they can't take a bottle" (because grieving their mum when they don't understand why she is suddenly missing is not going to dwarf that at all)

I don't understand why people would live with such anticipation of rare and terrible events.

Genuine question- how do you have a decent sex life with dogs sleeping with you??

I’ve had dogs most of my life. They’re a huge part of my life/the family. Holidays are planned around them (often caravanning so they come too). But they’ve been 99% big dogs (labs or GSDs) and we have more than one, so they’ve never slept on the beds. I now have a little Romanian rescue who is terrified of fireworks/loud noises, and she asks to come upstairs when she’s scared. She’s slept on the bed a few times lately and I must admit it’s been quite nice having a little head on my feet. I think if I ever lost my husband I’d let the dogs upstairs (don’t think I could be bothered training another bloke!)

I think it's time to bow out, OP. Resorting to to last ditch arguments isn't working for you.

Bit like your OP. I "just can't understand" why...

I can say hand on heart all the people I know who let their dogs have run of the house and sleep on their beds have dogs that are hard work and misbehave (at least 4 i know of). My sisters dog sleeps in her bed and its started growling at people including her children if they approach the bed whilst the dogs on it. He has started doing the same with the sofa too. My dog has a lovely comfy bed downstairs and is only allowed on sofa or my bed if invited. I think every dog and owner is different though so just do what suits you!

my dog would have to get used to my kids not the other way round.

No, they both, children and dogs have to learn to live with each other and respect each other.

Do you own a dog OP? cant be bothered to read all your posts to find out.