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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not think I should have to thank them

305 replies

Tellmelies65 · 27/12/2020 15:17

I went on a walk to the supermarket earlier and came Across a group of people talking on a pavement. They were outside a house clearly talking to the person who lived in the house. They moved as I approached them and then the woman shouted thank you at me.
I’m not a rude person but I don’t think you should have to thank someone when they are on a pavement.

OP posts:
VinylDetective · 27/12/2020 17:26

@Newkitchen123

I would have said thank you as automatically as breathing!
This. People thank each other for getting out of their way all the time here. You were rude, OP.
SandyY2K · 27/12/2020 17:26

I've been at events before and someone was blocking my car in. They shouldn't have been, but I still said thanks when they moved. Its the same thing really.

LadyLazaruss · 27/12/2020 17:28

I'd have shouted it at you too. Bad manners.

BrumBoo · 27/12/2020 17:29

@SoupDragon

and apologies for being in the way.

They ensured that they were never in the way.

I bet half the people women on this thread pepper their language 'sorry' over everything as well.

What is that meant to mean?

If they weren't in the way then the op had nothing to thank them for then, surely? Everyone was just getting on with their day and no one need to shout sarcastically.

And I mean the general attitude of 'manners' when women are concerned. Be as polite as possible. Be as sorry as possible. Even when you don't owe it to anyone. As I said, no one would have called out a bloke for not being thankful enough people moved out of the way, even though the people were being obstructive in the first place.

Blondiney · 27/12/2020 17:30

Can see both sides of this. Think I would've given them a rather terse smile and carried on.

It's the ones who hold conversations on either side of a pavement that get me. Yes, they're beautifully socially distanced but what they fail to grasp is that anyone passing will have to walk between you both and straight through whatever particulates are being expelled from your 'hilarious' guffaws.

L0obyLou · 27/12/2020 17:36

So rude of the woman to shout at you - what an overreaction.

Livelovebehappy · 27/12/2020 17:37

They shouldn’t have been blocking the pavement. If op was walking on the pavement and some one is just standing there meaning op had to step into the road, then damn right they should have moved a little to make room for her to pass. This wouldn’t have involved them stepping into the road themselves, but just making a bit of room.

Thedogscollar · 27/12/2020 17:37

You know what OP if this is what is getting you all riled up today then you are bloody lucky.
Just for the record YABVU and rude they moved so you could pass. Say Thank you its called good manners.

Kimakima · 27/12/2020 17:38

@Tellmelies65

They wouldn’t have needed to move if they weren’t on a pavement. I think it’s rude to stand On a pavement talking.
Don’t be ridiculous. You were rude.
Billben · 27/12/2020 17:38

And I mean the general attitude of 'manners' when women are concerned. Be as polite as possible. Be as sorry as possible. Even when you don't owe it to anyone. As I said, no one would have called out a bloke for not being thankful enough people moved out of the way, even though the people were being obstructive in the first place.

👍👍👍

ClaireP20 · 27/12/2020 17:39

Alrhough I would.have smiled and said thanks (covid etiquette!), i also think she was rude for shouting 'thanks' after you.
I would have turned and said 'who'd you think you're talking to?'. And held my own. But then I'm a bit rough.. x

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 27/12/2020 17:39

You were rude. Basic manners cost nothing.

eaglejulesk · 27/12/2020 17:41

They moved for you, you should have thanked them. It costs you nothing and makes the world a more pleasant place.

Italiangreyhound · 27/12/2020 17:42

They were in the wrong congregating on the pavement, they moved, fine. I say thank you for everything! And sorry when people stand on my foot by accident! But there is nothing wrong on not saying thank you in that situation.

Livelovebehappy · 27/12/2020 17:42

SandyY2k you would thank someone for moving their car after they blocked you in? I’m guessing they did it purposefully noting they had blocked you in. I would have a rant at them for blocking me in, and demand they moved their car. And absolutely would not thank them for doing so.

Italiangreyhound · 27/12/2020 17:43

The person shouting 'thank you' after you was very rude.

VinylDetective · 27/12/2020 17:43

no one would have called out a bloke for not being thankful enough people moved out of the way, even though the people were being obstructive in the first place

Yes they would. I have.

Italiangreyhound · 27/12/2020 17:43

Don’t be ridiculous. They were rude.

eaglejulesk · 27/12/2020 17:44

And I mean the general attitude of 'manners' when women are concerned. Be as polite as possible. Be as sorry as possible. Even when you don't owe it to anyone. As I said, no one would have called out a bloke for not being thankful enough people moved out of the way, even though the people were being obstructive in the first place.

Utter crap. I expect men to have manners just as much as women. Get off your high horse.

supercee · 27/12/2020 17:44

FFS the two go hand in hand. They were to move - they did. You should've said thanks - you didn't.

You were rude.

Bookworming · 27/12/2020 17:44

They wouldn’t have needed to move if they weren’t on a pavement. I think it’s rude to stand On a pavement talking.

WTF! It's going beyond ridiculous now! You want stand by n a pavement parking?

You are very rude OP!

Oooohbehave · 27/12/2020 17:44

@ruthieness

I would like to demonstrate my good manners and hereby thank everyone and anyone who has not murdered me - a common law offence

Obstructing the pavement - part of the highway is in fact also an offence which is why demonstrators have to march up and down and not stand still!

The rude person was the person requiring thanks for obeying the law and making a stressful situation for you - as you had to anticipate what to do to accommodate their lawbreaking.

but to be authentically "British" you should have apologised for your existence "Sorry" as in "Sorry you have to consider other people you selfish gits!"

In what world is walking past people on a stressful situation? Confused
FredWinnie · 27/12/2020 17:45

@Tellmelies65

I also think the woman’s nature was clearly not very nice if she felt the need to shout after me.
Tbh she sounds like my kind of person

Not saying thanks is actually the height of rudeness and entitlement

BrumBoo · 27/12/2020 17:46

@VinylDetective

In this situation? You're blocking the pavement having a chat, you see a bloke walking your way so you step back. Bloke carries on with his walk without even a glance at you, and you should after him 'ummm THANK YOU'.

To be honest, written out it sounds even more ridiculous that the OP was called out on it.

ilovesooty · 27/12/2020 17:47

@BrumBoo

I probably would have said 'thank you', but probably not in my 'nicest' voice. They were loitering and causing an obstruction, therefore it was on them to move or be the impolite ones. I think they were ruder shouting back after you, in this instance you didn't 'owe' them a thank you. Why should we thank people for moving when they were blocking the way to start with?

A small part of me is wondering is this is a woman thing (assuming you are of course!). Would a man be expected to be polite in this situation? Would they have shouted sarcastically after him? Mmm, perhaps double standards are clouding some views.

What utter rubbish. It's basic good manners. Anyone who has them would have said thank you.