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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not think I should have to thank them

305 replies

Tellmelies65 · 27/12/2020 15:17

I went on a walk to the supermarket earlier and came Across a group of people talking on a pavement. They were outside a house clearly talking to the person who lived in the house. They moved as I approached them and then the woman shouted thank you at me.
I’m not a rude person but I don’t think you should have to thank someone when they are on a pavement.

OP posts:
Strictly1 · 27/12/2020 17:47

You may not be a rude person - I don't know - but not saying thank you today was rude.

IamMariahScarey · 27/12/2020 17:48

I would of done the same as them!! How rude are you! Princess or what

ADMum20 · 27/12/2020 17:51

AIBU?
Yes
No I’m not

Yes OP you were rude. They weren’t blocking the pavement, they moved for you!! 🙄🙄 Can people not even converse with friends and neighbours at the moment without someone getting irritated by a perceived slight?

I say thank you to cars who let me through even though I have priority. I say thank you to taxi drivers even though they’re just doing their job. Basic manners or unnecessary female forelock tugging? 🙄🙄🙄

Someone noticed you, moved out of the way for you, and you can’t be arsed to mutter two words to them out of some sanctimonious feeling of them being wrong?

Yup.... rude.

SandyY2K · 27/12/2020 17:54

@Livelovebehappy

SandyY2k you would thank someone for moving their car after they blocked you in? I’m guessing they did it purposefully noting they had blocked you in.

If it was an event we'd been mutually invited to...like a wedding. Yes I would. It usually is them apologising...then I say thanks.

I would have a rant at them for blocking me in, and demand they moved their car.

Mmm..you never know what kind of lunatic you're dealing with, so I'm careful not to rant even when I'm pissed off.
I would expect an apology from them first, as I would do if I blocked someone in.... Road rage can end badly.

What does annoy me is someone moving their car without acknowledging the inconvenience.

1Morewineplease · 27/12/2020 17:57

Youve moaned about these people on this thread and spent some time on it... it would have taken you just one second to say "thank you."
Then you wouldn't have needed to start this needless thread and you wouldn't be feeling angst at having to read all the posts telling you that you were rude.

Grapewrath · 27/12/2020 17:57

No matter who had the ‘right’ here it would’ve been polite (and in most cases instinctive) to say thankyou

Branleuse · 27/12/2020 17:57

Just not british is it. They should have apologised profusely for blocking the pavement, then you should have thanked them equally profusely for the inconvenience of them having to stop blocking the entire path and you do some weird sort of british social etiquette dance.

Or they could just move when they realise theyre in the way, and you quickly walk past, and they continue their day and you all move on from this inconsequential event, like normal people

As it is, I think the woman who shouted THANKYOU, was passive aggressive and rude. Like those who shout YOURE WELCOME when they dont slam a door in your face, or get irate when you fail to thank them when it was your right of way anyway

BrumBoo · 27/12/2020 17:58

Anyone who has them would have said thank you.

Anyone who has them wouldn't have shouted after someone when it was on them to move out of the way initially.

I'm not saying it's typical to not acknowledge someone moving for you. What I'm arguing is that the op was barely rude at all, more simply getting on with walking, and the person blocking the pavement shouldn't have been doing so in the first place. The response on this thread is the same level of aghast as if the op had dropped a Silent But Deadly on her way past the pavement chatters, then told them to Fuck Off after being shouted after.

It was a non-event. The fact that the op was called out on it is just the level of ridiculous people are reaching at the moment.

ilovesooty · 27/12/2020 18:04

@CoronaIsWatching

They weren't blocking the OP's path, they moved. She was rude not to say thank you

They needed to move though. They weren't doing the OP a favour, therefore no thank you needed Hmm

Are you generally so pretty and grudging in your attitude?
Suzi888 · 27/12/2020 18:08

I’d have said thank you too.

Oneearringlost · 27/12/2020 18:09

What would it have cost you? To have said "Thank you"?

ilovesooty · 27/12/2020 18:11

@Hadjab

Wheres the rule book on people having to say 'thank you'? If we're talking about manners, the pavement blockers were being more socially rude and shouldn't be thanked for being considerate of people actually needing to walk somewhere

@BrumBoo so by your logic, I should never have to thank anyone who holds a door open for me, as I have to go through it anyway, or say thanks to shop staff, as I have to do my shopping and that’s what they get paid for?

Probably. @BrumBoo and people like her don't appear to understand social niceties.
Pat123dev · 27/12/2020 18:12

You should've thanked them, I'm miffed you think you shouldn't!!!

Lightsontbut · 27/12/2020 18:16

I would have said thank you. You don't own the pavement any more than they do but they moved for you. You don't have to send flowers. Just say thanks.

angelaEhen · 27/12/2020 18:17

Its basic manners to say thank you

rollinggreenhills · 27/12/2020 18:18

Bugger me backwards with a bent banana, is this really what the world is coming to?

Politeness, kindness, good manners and consideration for others has really gone out of the window hasn't it?

We are supposed to be a civilised society. We are all stuck in this mess together, so why, oh why are people being so fucking intolerant?

Heronsnest · 27/12/2020 18:21

Pointless AIBU if the OP has already made her mind up.

Glitterblue · 27/12/2020 18:22

They weren't doing anything wrong by talking on the pavement, they moved when you came along, I can see why you'd have had an issue with them if they'd continued to block the pavement, but they didn't, they moved for you and you should have said thank you.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 27/12/2020 18:23

@angelaEhen

Its basic manners to say thank you
It’s basic manners to say sorry and mo e if you’re intentionally blocking the pavement. You thank people for moving if they have made an effort to help you by moving. You don’t really need to say it if they have moved because they have deliberately blocked your way.
Andylion · 27/12/2020 18:24

@Billben

I do kinda see your point though OP. They shouldn’t be blocking the pavement to the point where others can’t even pass. So they shouldn’t expect a thank you really because they shouldn’t have been blocking the way to begin with. They could have said sorry though for blocking your way. Which is what I would have shouted back at the woman 😂
I agree. Other posters have said that they did something kind in moving. I think they did what they should have done. I also think the OP should have said thanks, even if just with a nod and a smile.
LowlandLucky · 27/12/2020 18:25

Obviously manner's are a new concept to you.

BrumBoo · 27/12/2020 18:27

Probably.@BrumBooand people like her don't appear to understand social niceties.

Probably comes from spending too much time on MN, where you can be as much of a passive aggressive arse as possible (but God forbid you forget your p and qs it seems).

We are all stuck in this mess together, so why, oh why are people being so fucking intolerant?

I'm guessing its because a minority of people have turned into humongous drama queens who value 'be kind' sentiments over pretty much everything, including just getting on with your day without thinking twice when a stranger has a minor lack of manners.

Andylion · 27/12/2020 18:30

@Tellmelies65

Maybe I should have said thank you but I will admit the whole of my walk to the supermarket was of people stopping on the pavement people riding bikes on the pavement so by the point to be honest I had had enough. I had already had to walk on the road due to another group standing talking on the pavement.
OP, it sounds like you were angry at others who did not move and were then rude to the group that did move,
lazyarse123 · 27/12/2020 18:31

@Givemeabreak88

I’m with the op , I think it’s more rude to stand and block a Pavement so people can’t get past without having to ask you to move.
Op didn't have to ask them to move. They did it as she approached. They were obviously trying to follow the rules by not going in the house. So yes op you were very unreasonable to not say thank you.
1992serpent · 27/12/2020 18:34

I wouldn't have said thank you. What Walker stands on the pavement in everyone's way. That's far rude than not actually saying thanks.

Woman is a bitch.