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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not think I should have to thank them

305 replies

Tellmelies65 · 27/12/2020 15:17

I went on a walk to the supermarket earlier and came Across a group of people talking on a pavement. They were outside a house clearly talking to the person who lived in the house. They moved as I approached them and then the woman shouted thank you at me.
I’m not a rude person but I don’t think you should have to thank someone when they are on a pavement.

OP posts:
ddl1 · 27/12/2020 16:22

I would have thanked people for moving. It's a bit impolite for them to demand thanks. But, especially since they did it without being asked, a 'thank you' wouldn't have gone amiss.

Dahlietta · 27/12/2020 16:23

I would have said thank you, but not doing so isn’t the crime of the century. The woman was wrong to shout ‘thank you’ at you. Everyone knows the correct response in this situation is to mutter “You’re welcome” in a passive aggressive manner.

wildraisins · 27/12/2020 16:23

I probably would have said thanks, but would say that they were way more rude by shouting after you like that. I would never do that.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 27/12/2020 16:24

@Fabpinky

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t thank them? Do you own the pavement?
I would have said "Thank you" - it's just common curtesy, like when someone holds a door open for you, or shifts their chair so you can get past.
wildraisins · 27/12/2020 16:24

(I also think it's a silly thing to get upset about generally, as you are not entitled to thanks or anything else from a stranger)

Oooohbehave · 27/12/2020 16:24

@Tellmelies65

As I said I would thank someone if they let me go first on a pavement or let me come out a shop before entering themselves but I think if you’re on a pavement talking you should move.
OP: AIBU? Everyone: Yes you were rude. OP: You're all wrong. Why the fuck ask then? Oh and yes you were rude.
Whythesadface · 27/12/2020 16:25

Please and thank you, cost nothing, use them often and for everything, be the better person.

Bourbonbiccy · 27/12/2020 16:27

You should have just said thank you, they moved for you, so a little thank you is required, if you have manners.

I myself have done the "thank you" at someone who had no manners, they went bright red and said "oh yes thank you" manners cost jibbing and you don't know the circumstance for them needs to talk at the gate.

Hadjab · 27/12/2020 16:27

Wheres the rule book on people having to say 'thank you'? If we're talking about manners, the pavement blockers were being more socially rude and shouldn't be thanked for being considerate of people actually needing to walk somewhere

@BrumBoo so by your logic, I should never have to thank anyone who holds a door open for me, as I have to go through it anyway, or say thanks to shop staff, as I have to do my shopping and that’s what they get paid for?

Butchyrestingface · 27/12/2020 16:28

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: Yes you were rude.
OP: You're all wrong.
Why the fuck ask then? Oh and yes you were rude.

Except it is by no means a unanimous response the OP has received.

MostlyAmbridgeandcoffee · 27/12/2020 16:28

Of course you should acknowledge someone moving to let you past - basic manners and it’s churlish to stick to your ‘I’m right you’re wrong’ stance. What would it harm you to have done so?

wildraisins · 27/12/2020 16:28

@NannyGythaOgg

Would it really hurt you to have said thank you.

And as for it being a tier 4 - these rules are for safety - they were not doing anything wrong by chatting in the street if they were some distance away.

To me, you are not only rude you are judgemental.

Wouldn't have hurt to say thank you (and I probably would), but I don't think it is required, and certainly doesn't warrant having abuse hurled after you. The people shouting after the OP were far ruder.
AliceMadHatter · 27/12/2020 16:28

You were rude.

I've just been on a dog walk and passed a lot of joggers and cyclists and there were a lot of thank yous being said to each other. It was a lovely pleasant walk.

IndecentFeminist · 27/12/2020 16:30

They weren't blocking the pavement if they moved without being asked as the OP approached...so I don't see any rudeness there.

Manners cost nothing OP, why wouldn't you say thank you?

heseesyouwhenyouaresleeping · 27/12/2020 16:32

next time sneeze or cough when you pass them

that should teach them some manners

Laughnaff · 27/12/2020 16:33

They were the ones obstructing the path, so the op shouldn’t need to thank them and the lady was ruder again for shouting out thank you. I would have gave her a lovely finger gesture!!

PlanDeRaccordement · 27/12/2020 16:33

Polite thing would be thank them. You were rude, but not rude enough to be shouted at.

ChorleyFMcominginyourears · 27/12/2020 16:33

If you'd already had to walk on the road because of another group, I would absolutely have said thankyou to this group for not having to walk on the road again! I think it was rude but I don't think even if 100% of the comments said you were rude that you'd believe it tbh. You said you'd had enough of others being in the way constantly yet took it out on the group that actually moved for you.

Oooohbehave · 27/12/2020 16:33

@Butchyrestingface

OP: AIBU? Everyone: Yes you were rude. OP: You're all wrong. Why the fuck ask then? Oh and yes you were rude.

Except it is by no means a unanimous response the OP has received.

You're right, but the majority of posters think OP was rude. There are always some socially inept people who have no concept of manners.
DecemberSun · 27/12/2020 16:34

YABVU. I don't understand your problem with people chatting on the pavement. I's perfectly normal.

livefornaps · 27/12/2020 16:35

OP you sound very bitter and rude.

IndecentFeminist · 27/12/2020 16:37

It isn't rude to stand on a pavement unless others need it. Which they didn't, as they moved when they saw her coming.

theantsgomarchin · 27/12/2020 16:37

Who cares whether you "should" or "shouldn't" have. Don't be an arsehole and just say thanks. What's the big deal!!!

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 27/12/2020 16:37

@Tellmelies65

As I said I would thank someone if they let me go first on a pavement or let me come out a shop before entering themselves but I think if you’re on a pavement talking you should move.
So basically you think you were right......why then ask if YABU? I find threads like this bizarre where an op asks for an opinion only to go against everybody who disagrees.

The mind boggles.

BasiliskStare · 27/12/2020 16:39

I would have said thank you in that circumstance. I do see you were a bit fed up - but agree with others - Thank you - costs nothing. I do get irritated with those who do not show consideration for others but it seems they did. But , hey - , your day , up to you not to say Thank You even when tired. - I would have done.