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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not think I should have to thank them

305 replies

Tellmelies65 · 27/12/2020 15:17

I went on a walk to the supermarket earlier and came Across a group of people talking on a pavement. They were outside a house clearly talking to the person who lived in the house. They moved as I approached them and then the woman shouted thank you at me.
I’m not a rude person but I don’t think you should have to thank someone when they are on a pavement.

OP posts:
Happychristmashohoho · 27/12/2020 15:33

You learn something new every day. I didn’t know you weren’t allowed to stop and talk on a pavement!

It would be rude if they didn’t move, which happened to me yesterday, but as they moved it’s polite to say thank you I think.

I have said loudly thank you to people who haven’t said it to me when I have stepped aside or stopped to let them past at times in the past....!

BingPot99 · 27/12/2020 15:34

It was a bit rude to not say thank you,. However, she lost any moral high ground by shouting after you like that. If I open the door /let someone past and they don't say thank you I might say 'thank you' sarcastically in my head but never out loud - they could be tired / ill / upset and me aggressively shouting after them in public would just draw attention to them and make them feel worse. Plus, we could all do with feeling less anger and stress about other people's actions these days...

Santaisreel · 27/12/2020 15:34

I’m not a rude person but I don’t think you should have to thank someone when they are on a pavement.

You thank them because they moved and made space for you to pass.

They wouldn’t have needed to move if they weren’t on a pavement.

Irrelevant. They did move.

I think it’s rude to stand On a pavement talking.

Are you serious? It's rude to stand on a pavement and talk Hmm

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 27/12/2020 15:34

Well, you don't believe anything other than you were right, and not rude, so I don't know how we can convince you really. AIBU is not an echo chamber!

Seafog · 27/12/2020 15:35

Why ask on here if you are sure you are right?

Nottherealslimshady · 27/12/2020 15:35

It's very normal to say thankyou when someone moves out your way. They have as much right to be on the pavement as you do.

Santaisreel · 27/12/2020 15:35

In my mind they shouldn’t have even been standing there talking. We are in tier four area.

You are determined to find something aren't you?

Even if they should not have been there due to tier 4 (I don't know the details) they still moved out of the way and you were still rude.

alphajuliet123 · 27/12/2020 15:36

You've spent about a thousand times more seconds on this than if you had just said thank you. YABU.

Hadjab · 27/12/2020 15:36

It’s rude to block a pavement whilst chatting if you don’t move out of the way when people approach

They moved, you should have thanked them, do better.

Santaisreel · 27/12/2020 15:36

You are correct - they are causing the "problem" by standing there talking, knowing that people may need to use the pavement for walking past.

There was no problem. They did move.

PhatPhanny · 27/12/2020 15:38

Oh gotcha, because you was walking there, they shouldn't have been there, you're more superior!

Well if you wasn't walking there, they wouldn't have had to move for you!

And for others, they wasn't blocking the pavement, because they moved out the way.

It's called common courtesy, look it up in the dictionary and try it some time, it costs nothing, takes next to none of your time and might actually make you feel a little better.

Neither of you were in the wrong for doing what you were doing, but a little thank you wouldn't have hurt, your just being pedantic.

WoolieLiberal · 27/12/2020 15:38

Manners are a matter of opinion and consensus, but in my view:

You were rude not to thank her.

She was rude to yell at you for not doing so.

You were both in the wrong.

However, given the number of replies I take it OP was looking for affirmation of her own position and doesn’t like to hear it.

BestOfABadLot · 27/12/2020 15:38

Really? Is there some law that says that pavements must be walked on and not gathered on?

I'm not sure if there's a law but anyone with half a brain cell knows that you can't block the pavement. If you're in a big group blocking the pavement and someone is walking down the street yes of course you have to move - not expect the person to wait around until you've finished your conversation. That's why you can't set up a picnic on the pavement or use it as your own personal storage space. I really can't believe anyone doesn't realise that.

Redglitter · 27/12/2020 15:38

They could have gone for a walk rather than blocking access to a pavement

Oh so you know the person they were talking to is fit and well enough to go a walk?

Ffs were in the middle of lockdown, its Christmas, people are struggling enough just now. This could well have been them making the best of the situation for a relative. Whats the harm in standing on the pavement especially if they move when someone approaches. Saying thank you is just basic good manners.

I’m not a rude person

Yes you are

Ginfordinner · 27/12/2020 15:38

I wouldhave thanked them because I'm not a self entitled arsehole.

You were rude.

Own it.

HuggedTheRedwoods · 27/12/2020 15:38

I would have said thank you, they moved willingly for you.

AIMD · 27/12/2020 15:39

They moved out of your way to allow you past. You should have said thank you.

I’d want someone to say thank or at least give a little smile/nod of acknowledgement if I moved just to let them past. I wouldn’t consider totally ignoring someone if they moved out my way without acknowledging them moving for me at all.

I feel like that is basic polite social skills isn’t it?

Woolff · 27/12/2020 15:39

They shouldn't have been gathering on the pavement. The point of not allowing people to meet in private spaces is to prevent unnecessary contacts.

Social distancing means people ought not to block spaces and force people to pass closely. If someone lets you go first or makes way where they can, (just like if driving) it's polite to say thanks. There's not really any call for thanking people for not doing inconvenient or dangerous things that they know they aren't meant to.

Billben · 27/12/2020 15:40

I think it’s rude to stand On a pavement talking.

You are kidding, right? 😂😂😂

Delamalama · 27/12/2020 15:40

If they were blocking the whole pavement and you would have had to walk I to the road endangering your life then no, you shouldn't have had to thank them. They shouldn't block the whole pavement.

notangelinajolie · 27/12/2020 15:40

Yes, if they moved out of the way to let you pass then it would have been good manners for you to say thank you.
If it were me I would probably have crossed over the road to avoid getting covid germs too close.

FuckOffDailyFailure · 27/12/2020 15:42

I would have said thanks. I wouldn't have shouted at you if you didn't. All sounds a bit...odd tbh and yes, not terribly naice, but hey ho. Wouldn't worry too much about it.

Butchyrestingface · 27/12/2020 15:42

I think (!) I kind of see your point. They were obstructing your progress by standing around talking rather than walking on the pavement. If you were driving a car and brought to a standstill by two cars directly in front deciding to stop at mid point on the road for a chat, you wouldn't be expected to thank them for deciding to pull in and let you past (not a great analogy, I know).

However, as you can see from this thread alone, most people think a 'thank you' would be appropriate in this circumstance.

They were PA to shout after you though. Doubt they'd be quite so brave if you were a 6 foot 2 tattooed, gold-toothed, shaven-head, bloke with parallel facial scars and a pitbull called Ripper. Xmas Grin

HaveANiceFuckingDay · 27/12/2020 15:42

Was this me with a young lad and a child ?
I walked earlier with them and the pavements were narrow and us and others Included often went to the side of the road , stopped let us / them passed and we all smile , nodded and said thanks and carried on walking on our way .
It’s polite

CardoMondo · 27/12/2020 15:43

I’m as arsey as they come but even I would have said thank you instinctively

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