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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is an instant turn on about a woman?

154 replies

Sandalison · 27/12/2020 14:48

Inspired by the other thread about instant turn-ons!

I am single and also, as I slug around in my dressing gown eating cheese, I do not feel sexy, at all! So asking men and gay women, what are your instant turn ons for women? Women in general, has your partner told you what he/she finds sexy?

OP posts:
Ifitsamouse · 27/12/2020 16:48

Tall women with long shapely legs

1940s · 27/12/2020 16:50

Nice skin, some women have lovely soft skin with no very few bumps / scars / moles - hard to describe but maybe someone knows what I mean?
Dark lashes
Full lips
Natural nails and soft hands
Hair that looks good thrown up in a ponytail
Natural low key sense of style without being a slave to fashion trends

TalbotAMan · 27/12/2020 16:52

Intelligence goes a long, long way in my book.

puffyisgood · 27/12/2020 16:52

High ratio of hip vs waist sizes.

Etulosba · 27/12/2020 16:57

A lot of men now say what they find attractive in woman as what they don't find attractive, which is pretty horrible to read.

I'll focus on the positives then.

Neat bum (small). Slim. Low maintenance and able to look stunning without resorting to makeup or Spanx.

MeetMeInMontauk · 27/12/2020 16:57

Can only speak for myself, obviously, but as per some previous responses I can confirm that, personally, a great set of tits is a sizeable draw (only if natural though). I also don't personally recognise the 'intimidated by intelligence/career success' thing either, although that may be because I have never subscribed to the toxic alpha-masculinity bullshit which is so pervasively fed to men. I love a good bit of stimulating conversation from a partner, particularly if they're passionate as well as articulate.

jillypill · 27/12/2020 16:58

Nice skin, some women have lovely soft skin with no very few bumps / scars / moles - hard to describe but maybe someone knows what I mean?

Do you mean on the body, I call it plastic skin. Some men & women have lovely skin that has no marks, bumps, scars, veins & is really even.

cheapskatemum · 27/12/2020 16:58

DH is a legs man & not a fan of big boobs. He doesn’t suffer fools gladly, so intelligence has to be there too. He has told me that he likes that I am a kind person.

topcat2014 · 27/12/2020 16:59

Matching, but not necessarily expensive, underwear

jillypill · 27/12/2020 17:00

Low maintenance and able to look stunning without resorting to makeup or Spanx.

great set of tits is a sizeable draw (only if natural though).

Ime most men can't spot fake tits, natural makeup & spanx from a few metres away.

jillypill · 27/12/2020 17:01

or even cms!

Aisforharlot · 27/12/2020 17:04

the last couple of women I've had crushes on have been strong, funny,slightly smaller than me (I'm tall and broad). Xena and Gabrielle vibe!

Coldilox · 27/12/2020 17:04

A woman in a high powered job is definitely a massive turn on.

Confidence in her own flaws, not obsessed with looking perfect. Image/looks obsessed is a turn off, as is anything fake - I really don’t find any kind of cosmetic surgery, Botox, very heavy make/up attractive at all.

Laughter lines.

And I tend to find women older than me more attractive (although my gorgeous wife is 6 months younger!)

RUTheShitploppeeOrShitplopper · 27/12/2020 17:04

Beyond stating the blindingly obvious, what is your point?

That people go out of their way to look for offence. If you don't care what men thinks or you find some of their opinions depressing, don't ask what they think then get offended when they tell you.

Besides they said what they don't find attractive, not what shouldn't be found attractive by anybody else.

Yet another "Do I look fat in this?" Poor sucker answers. Then "How dare you say that?!" or "What is that supposed to mean?!". Fight is on.

Some women! Hmm

1940s · 27/12/2020 17:04

@jillypill

Nice skin, some women have lovely soft skin with no very few bumps / scars / moles - hard to describe but maybe someone knows what I mean?

Do you mean on the body, I call it plastic skin. Some men & women have lovely skin that has no marks, bumps, scars, veins & is really even.

Ha yes! I'm glad you know what I mean, on the body especially just looks like flawless (the odd freckle or small scar obviously) but generally lovely smooth evenly coloured skin. Now I have a name for it 😂
jillypill · 27/12/2020 17:06

I'd love to have plastic skin 😁

OhYesYouDidBoo · 27/12/2020 17:14

Reading through these I can see now why not many people found me attractive.. Grin

unmarkedbythat · 27/12/2020 17:16

It's the same in men and women. A look in the eyes or something about the way they move their head or hold themself. I can't even describe it. There seems little physically in common among the people I fancy.

OhYesYouDidBoo · 27/12/2020 17:17

Kindness, compassion, a caring heart.

RUTheShitploppeeOrShitplopper · 27/12/2020 17:20

Remind me not to get married again

And it didn't seem like it was 'blindingly obvious' to you that these are not the views of everyone when you decided you wouldn't get married off the back of some people's comments on some random site you found depressing.

Although I didn't think you were completely seriously but sounds like you should focus more on the positive ones unless finding reasons to declare the usual "men are scum" line is your thing.

RUTheShitploppeeOrShitplopper · 27/12/2020 17:21

*serious, not seriously

TowandaForever · 27/12/2020 17:21

From being on a dating website that asks what are people's turn ons -

Long hair is definitely what men repeatedly say

BiBabbles · 27/12/2020 17:21

Bi woman here.

Physically, I go for those around my average height and chest size, but broader in the shoulders and hips. They usually have a couple+ stone on me, one way or another. Nice smile. Hair that looks fun to play with (I know I've got a crush when I start thinking about playing with hair...). I quite like freckles too.

Personality - relaxed, that air of not taking herself that seriously and sweet enough that others relax that way too, I'm an absolute sucker for sweethearts, openly affectionate with people she cares about, and upfront with ideas.

I'm trying to avoid negatives, but not sure how to word this- I guess it's women who are relaxed enough that they don't need to try to prove how social and exciting and interesting they are. I know I've seen jokes somewhere of how - whether on dating or friend apps - women's bios can sound the same: something about drinking, something about travel, something about being busy, lots of group photos with funny filters. The same happens on guys (I think the joke with them is older guys is the cycling and the pint picture), it equally feels like trying to prove they're fun really unlike other people using apps to find people even when the bios sound much like others.

Undertaker · 27/12/2020 17:22

Short, with brunette hair. Big tits & a nice butt 😋. Thats my wife 💘

GreenlandTheMovie · 27/12/2020 17:22

thepeopleversuswork Urgh… how depressing.

In other words they are attracted to women who won't challenge them too much, won't out-earn them, happy to play second fiddle and won't rock the boat too much because they fear getting divorced.

Remind me not to get married again.

Its definately a thing. I think its men who are quite badly behaved (eg cheat, flirt with other women, can be verbally abusive, etc, the notion being that "more grateful" women with less options will be more likely to put up with it and not leave). Some men seem obsessed with the idea that women are only after them for their 50k pa and one bedroom flats. So the idea is to marry a grateful woman and flirt with the one they really fancy.

My friend was recently dumped, the reason given being she "wasn't plain enough" for him. I was told by my ex that I was "too intelligent and too good looking".