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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What is an instant turn on about a woman?

154 replies

Sandalison · 27/12/2020 14:48

Inspired by the other thread about instant turn-ons!

I am single and also, as I slug around in my dressing gown eating cheese, I do not feel sexy, at all! So asking men and gay women, what are your instant turn ons for women? Women in general, has your partner told you what he/she finds sexy?

OP posts:
jillypill · 27/12/2020 16:16

I think many men are put off by very intelligent &/or high earning women.

RUTheShitploppeeOrShitplopper · 27/12/2020 16:17

In other words they are attracted to women who won't challenge them too much, won't out-earn them, happy to play second fiddle and won't rock the boat too much because they fear getting divorced.

Remind me not to get married again.

Well, hopefully you realise 'they' means those who commented and not every person in the world.

That's what people get when they go looking for other's opinions on anything. Why shouldn't they say what they think? Why do you approve of some and not others?

Newmumatlast · 27/12/2020 16:17

@OohImBlindedByTheLights

Just asked DH. His response.... "Chebs" Hmm
What are chebs?
MeMarmiteYouJam · 27/12/2020 16:17

The way she walks, holds herself. The slant of her smile. The way she uses her hands to talk, or tousles/touches her hair without realising. Her smell.

Frownette · 27/12/2020 16:19

Friendly and warm :)

@Zoinksalot you made me feel better about my hair

bungaloid · 27/12/2020 16:20

I only ask for a few things in a woman:
Funny / good sense of humour
Intelligent
Attractive
Wealthy

Other than that I'm not fussy.
I find an ability to eat loads of chocolate or down loads of booze strangely attractive.
I once worked with a woman who had the most perfect tone of voice and Irish accent, I used to sit on telecons just daydreaming whilst she spoke.
Red or black hair also good.

EveningOverRooftops · 27/12/2020 16:20

@jillypill

I think many men are put off by very intelligent &/or high earning women.
Agreed. First long term partner really changed his attitude towards me once I went to uni. There was a lot of controlling behaviour and belittling me and trying to make me feel stupid.

Second Partner never did make a big deal of it but was mostly only interested in getting me pregnant and married so same thing maybe ?

Third partner really was uncomfortable despite being smart himself. Imposter syndrome maybe? It because he quit his career because he didn’t look after his MH. Fuck knows he was a knob.

New bloke is very encouraging.

RUTheShitploppeeOrShitplopper · 27/12/2020 16:20

Mine isn't real. Just wrote what many wouldn't admit to for fear of being called superficial and whatnot.

Amused by those who asked their husbands. Yea, he'll tell you what he really thinks.

Hailtomyteeth · 27/12/2020 16:23

Availability. Nothing else matters.

Littlefluffyclouds13 · 27/12/2020 16:25

@RUTheShitploppeeOrShitplopper

Mine isn't real. Just wrote what many wouldn't admit to for fear of being called superficial and whatnot.

Amused by those who asked their husbands. Yea, he'll tell you what he really thinks.

Why are you amused? How odd. Why would dh lie? The things he listed are just some of the things he has mentioned he loves about me time and time again, so clearly genuine.
jillypill · 27/12/2020 16:27

I only ask for a few things in a woman:
Funny / good sense of humour
Intelligent
Attractive
Wealthy

Not asking for much then! 😆

jillypill · 27/12/2020 16:28

Amused by those who asked their husbands. Yea, he'll tell you what he really thinks.

🤣

Zoinksalot · 27/12/2020 16:29

@Frownette im glad to have shared some positivity ! Curly/ wavey hair is gorgeous Smile

Zoinksalot · 27/12/2020 16:30

@Hailtomyteeth that made me laugh Grin

ShesMadeATwatOfMePam · 27/12/2020 16:30

I'm not gay or a man but i do tend to get crushes. I am attracted to confidence. A woman who knows her worth and isn't afraid to be herself.

Crystal90567 · 27/12/2020 16:31

Interesting that on the male thread they were all body or physical attributes that pp were stating and here it's all personality attributes.
I think the pp wants the former and far enough

Crystal90567 · 27/12/2020 16:31

Fair enough

jillypill · 27/12/2020 16:31

I have wavy beach hair, I always remember a boy I liked telling me I had his dream girl hair but not the rest of me 💔😁

nextdoorshush · 27/12/2020 16:32

gay woman here
Bigger Bum, fit/strong, sporty, Confidence, intelligence, positive attitude, good hair, stylish.

RUTheShitploppeeOrShitplopper · 27/12/2020 16:33

I really like 'pulse' and 'availability'. That's all I need tbh.

Why are you amused? How odd.
I don't see how it's odd to be amused. Can't I be amused by something anymore?
If you say yours is genuine, good for you. Being defensive when you're not the only one who's asked their husband on the thread (therefore I wasn't referring to any one person) is what is odd.

justanotherneighinparadise · 27/12/2020 16:33

Not a question I’ve asked but I know my boobs are a draw.

SmallChrismas · 27/12/2020 16:36

Healthy BMI and youth.

Bloodypunkrockers · 27/12/2020 16:41

@Lockheart

Try posting in the sex topic perhaps?
Why should she

The other threads on here are great and I'm glad OP started this one, as I was wondering something similar

MisterT373 · 27/12/2020 16:42

Anyone who shows me the slightest bit of attention or kindness.

thepeopleversuswork · 27/12/2020 16:48

@RUTheShitploppeeOrShitplopper

In other words they are attracted to women who won't challenge them too much, won't out-earn them, happy to play second fiddle and won't rock the boat too much because they fear getting divorced.

Remind me not to get married again.

Well, hopefully you realise 'they' means those who commented and not every person in the world.

That's what people get when they go looking for other's opinions on anything. Why shouldn't they say what they think? Why do you approve of some and not others?

"They" apparently dominated this particular comments board enough for the poster to have formed an impression that that view was dominant. Obviously this doesn't represent every person in the world but its a trend.

"They" are very welcome to their views .I am entitled to find it depressing when men appear to indicate that strength and independence are not characteristics to be welcomed in a woman.

Beyond stating the blindingly obvious, what is your point?