Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is he punishing me?

112 replies

Werk · 27/12/2020 13:30

I received an alert via the Covid app that I had been in contact with a positive case and have to isolate. I got it on Christmas Eve and have to isolate until New Year's Eve.

The only place I can think I have got it is the post office - I went last Monday to send some Christmas presents (we moved into tier 4 so our plans changed) and I was in a huge queue - inside for more than half an hour. We had isolated from 11th Dec as our plans were to stay with MIL for Christmas (but that changed on 19th when we moved into tier 4). I also went into the food shop Cook to get some meals for an old neighbour who could no longer see her family and a newsagent to get a newspaper and magazine for her - all on 21st when the app says I was exposed. I was out of the house over an hour.

DH is furious. He made me go through everywhere I had been and was asking me whether I had seen someone I shouldn't have (I haven't- I have stuck to the rules).

We had no plans anyway but we go out with the DC for at least an hour a day - especially with my eldest who is a bundle of energy and needs to spend time outside. Just to the park or for a walk or bike ride- nothing major.

DC broke up from school on 11th Dec and we both worked from home W/c 14th Dec - I am PT but he is FT so I had been the one taking them out each day for their exercise - some days twice, usually 2hrs in total.

DH has refused to take them both out at the same time whilst I am unable to leave the house. He will only take one at a time because he doesn't see why I should get the privilege of being alone for an hour or two when I have been reckless Hmm (I was posting presents to his family too FFS). I feel this is cutting off his nose to spite his face - he was freezing the other day because he was out for about 3hrs overall.

He worked FT from 14th Dec - Christmas Eve and has next week off but he is now angry because we cannot go out for walks etc and I have "ruined" his holiday. He never takes annual leave - the only other leave he took this year he managed to coincide with DC being at school in September. All my leave has been used looking after DC. It wouldn't surprise me if he cancels his leave and works instead because I have spoiled everything.

I feel like he is punishing me - AIBU? I have spent basically one hour away from my DC and in that time I was exposed to Covid!! It is just as annoying for me too as I am on leave next week as well and I cannot even go out for a walk or a run.

OP posts:
BluebellsGreenbells · 27/12/2020 13:33

Yes he is.

He sound a selfish entitled twat.

Why are you with him?

Creatingausername · 27/12/2020 13:36

My husband had this alert and he hadn't been anywhere. He got a follow up alert 2 days later saying he is allowed to end his isolation early?! WTF! So it left us wondering if it is a glitch in the app or a test message they rolled out. I thought you had to be in contact with someone for 15 mins for them to tell you to isolate anyway?

LeSangeEstDansLarbre · 27/12/2020 13:36

Jeez. How will be behave if you actually get sick? What a knob. Well, you know now not to do him any favours in future - he can do his own shopping and posting. If he was that worried about the risk you pose he’d allow you to isolate in the bedroom, bring you all your meals and take sole care of the children. I’ll bet he’s not, though, is he?

Stompythedinosaur · 27/12/2020 13:44

He sounds like a cunt.

Sn0tnose · 27/12/2020 13:48

You were posting gifts for HIS family. You were doing him a favour and now you can’t go out. You’re the one who has had their plans ruined.

I think you need to put him in his place and tell him to fuck right off and that you’re not going to tolerate his selfish bollocks any more.

JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth · 27/12/2020 14:17

He sounds awful

Terracottasaur · 27/12/2020 14:19

Give yourself a late Christmas present and divorce the cunt

gamerchick · 27/12/2020 14:22

The app isn't valid. Just delete the thing.

Your husband is a massive bellend, tell him to wind his fucking neck in or fuck off to his parents until he's over himself.

Vitaminsss · 27/12/2020 14:23

Not to be dramatic but I would really consider whether you want to continue a relationship with him. If he’s like this when you’re potentially unwell with COVID, what’s he like on a day to day basis?

barbrahunter · 27/12/2020 14:24

What a horrible man.

MadameButterface · 27/12/2020 14:27

Tell him to get fucked. He sounds like a monumentally selfish cunt.

An0n0n0n · 27/12/2020 14:27

He's an absolute fucking cunt

Brakebackcyclebot · 27/12/2020 14:30

Wow. Your H is behaving like a twunt.

One of the things I dislike most about this situation right now is the blame game it seems to start for some people largely, I think, as a result of the atmosphere of fear we are living under.

Nottherealslimshady · 27/12/2020 14:31

What an absolutely wanker.
Well you've learnt your lesson, never do anything for anyone else again. Not like you'd spent the day pampering yourself going to unnecessary places.

Cant believe he's going out twice just to spite you, that's is the worst kind of person, someone who will make their life worse just to make yours worse.

InTheDrunkTank · 27/12/2020 14:31

He sounds like an utter arsehole.

ScubaSteven · 27/12/2020 14:32

Your 'D' H is fucking awful. That's issue 1.

Issue 2, the app isn't legal guidance and unless you think you've been exposed (very busy place, unventilated building, hospital, doctors) then you can use your judgement over whether you've actually been put at risk. Places like schools and some NHS have been told not to use the app, and risk is direct contact (less than 1m for more than 10mins). So depending on the situation in the post office you're probably fine.

If you are contracted by Track and Trace then that is different.

lurker2003 · 27/12/2020 14:32

You would’ve been wearing a mask during these outings, also the app isn’t a legal thing. Unless you get rang by track and trace you don’t have to isolate.
P.S. he’s being a dick.

jessstan1 · 27/12/2020 14:33

He is being extremely unfair and unkind. Imagine if it had been him who tested positive.

Seasaltyhair · 27/12/2020 14:33

Jesus he is a dick

Marlouse · 27/12/2020 14:34

This really is horrible. How dare he. Not wanting to take your two children out at the same time, because you’re wife night get some time to herself. How horrible that he leaves one child at home to punish your ‘reckless’ behaviour.

He leaves a child at home to punish you.

How horribly toxic. How old are your children? Old enough to be aware they are being used by their own father as an punishing tactic?

Seriously reconsider your marriage.

Quartz2208 · 27/12/2020 14:35

He really sounds unpleasant - does he have redeeming qualities

Soubriquet · 27/12/2020 14:36

I don’t even have the app, and I won’t be getting it either

I think you need to use your common sense and tbh I would be going about my normal life at the moment

However, your dh is not a nice man. You don’t “deserve” an hour to yourself?!

Very nice Hmm

PinkPurpleFlowers · 27/12/2020 14:38

@BluebellsGreenbells

Yes he is.

He sound a selfish entitled twat.

Why are you with him?

This.

Men are a hideous lot

QuantumJump · 27/12/2020 14:38

He sounds awful OP. Do you think he believes you are lying to him about where you've been? Or is he just the kind of person who likes to lay blame in a situation which is no one's fault?

GabsAlot · 27/12/2020 14:38

he is punishing you op you said it yourself he wont take out both dc so u get a rest

what sort of person does that

Swipe left for the next trending thread