When is a "normal" age to lose your virginity?

[goosefats]

Name changed because this is something I would not like to follow me around on here, if you please

I was having a little Xmas Zoom call with one of my female friends this evening and we got a little drunk on our (individual) Pinot Grigios, and things started getting a little personal. We began talking about our first times, to which I told her I had sex for the first time at 15. She immediately had a " Oh my GOD, Goosefats!" response which I thought was a little mad as I figured that was a normal age.
According to her, it was far too young and I'm wondering what the general consensus is?

Obviously it's a personal choice, just to preface! I'm just curious as to what age you think is appropriate and what age you'd have a strong response to Relatively light-hearted thread, and please be kind to my friend, she's salt of the Earth but relatively sheltered (bless her heart!). x

The first time I had consensual sex I was 13.

Me too.

I wouldn't say it irl. I think amongst my friends we generally were a bit older than this thread though!

Makes me be aware I need to be more aware as a mum sooner than I thought!

I was 18 and I thought that I was well behind the curve in the mid-90s. I think 15 probably was / is normal, even though not legal.

@RememberSelfCompassion how old are you? I’m in my early 20s and grew up with social media and sexualised culture (celebrities, music, shows etc). Therefore going to university isn’t a factor - no matter what walk of life someone my age is from, we can’t really escape “sex”. No one is really sheltered. Even people from my school that were heavily religious did “other things” whilst in school relationships to preserve their virginity!

I was 16 and the oldest of everyone I knew (early 90s) all my friends were 14-15. 16 was a bit late and by the time we went to uni everyone had been doing it for ages and had quite a few boyfriends and one nighters.

I was 16, some of my friends were younger, one of my friends had 3 kids by the time she was 18 had the first when she had just turned 15.

I think 15-18 is average. I ended up not being the norm as I married my first boyfriend and we've been together 20 years 😂

When I say 18, it was probably actually 18.5 if we are being precise. I was desperate as I thought virginity was something you had to get rid of ASAP and I am glad it was with someone I wasn’t bothered about.

Well it’s underage but people feel ready at different points. I was just turned 19 when I lost mine and I’m not sure I was emotionally ready then!

I think the uni thing isnt so much being shielded from sex but just not really moving into a work of jobs/work/living with a partner/having a child in the same way. Social expextations are just so different. None of us were thinking of those things at 18 and still "went home " in holidays

Were I live now lots of people moved on with partners after school/intentionally had kids at 20 etc and after 4 years out of school doesn't seem unusual.

You see the difference on here where families expect kids to do uni/get a job first and "oh you have plenty of time" to a 30 year old. In a non uni area it all starts earlier.

I think of 16-19 as normal, younger than that as precocious and a bit older, say 20-22 as just being a later start, or more cautious approach.

Although I may be right about age if first kids/settling down Im obviously wrong about later sex from this thread 🤣.

Going to a girls school probably made a difference...

I think 14, almost 15. DH was 18 and I always thought that was old but can see from the responses it’s not.

For context, I’m 30 now and have slept with less than a handful of people in my life.

@RememberSelfCompassion people are having sex whilst at school though, some would go onto university as normal, some wouldn’t. Therefore attitudes to sex after you left school are irrelevant as the horse has already bolted!

“@RememberSelfCompassion how old are you? I’m in my early 20s and grew up with social media and sexualised culture (celebrities, music, shows etc). Therefore going to university isn’t a factor - no matter what walk of life someone my age is from, we can’t really escape “sex”. No one is really sheltered. Even people from my school that were heavily religious did “other things” whilst in school relationships to preserve their virginity!”

See, I’m also early 20s, but university was a massive factor in me loosing my virginity. I was never going to be able to have a drunken one night stand in the (tiny) family home! and no one wanted to date me

I was 16 and that wasn’t when most others did to first year of sixth form so 16/17

I was nearly 15, I think boys lose it later tbh I only know one or two lads who lost it younger than 16 - the rest was 18+

I would say 16 or 17 nowadays; I was 15 in the mid 1960s.

I was in my first year at university, so 18. Lots of girls in my year lost theirs much younger than me, and at least one got pregnant at 15.

In my day, ie mid 80s, girls definitely lost their virginity at a younger age than the boys did. Many girls I knew had older boyfriends who had jobs and their own cars. Boys their own age were seen as far too immature to be considered boyfriend material.

According the the studies I’ve found the average age to lose your virginity in the UK is 18, which seems old but actually fits quite well with mine and my friends experiences.

This is unrelated to my OP, but I was having a think about the night I lost my virginity (which was subsequently also the night I had my first kiss - insecure desperation at it's finest!)

Were those who were "late bloomers" or "early birds" (sorry not trying to compare anyone to worms or birds but here we are) always that way? E.g. did you wait to have your first kiss and then also wait to lose your virginity?

If I could go back and change things, I would have done it very different. Someone could have told me there was no rush!

16 for me, seemed about average. No regrets. Knew at the time that it was right, and totally called that one correctly. Agree on average it's women younger than men, accounted for by some teenage girls dating older boys but very few dating younger ones.

@goosefats

This is unrelated to my OP, but I was having a think about the night I lost my virginity (which was subsequently also the night I had my first kiss - insecure desperation at it's finest!)

Were those who were "late bloomers" or "early birds" (sorry not trying to compare anyone to worms or birds but here we are) always that way? E.g. did you wait to have your first kiss and then also wait to lose your virginity?

If I could go back and change things, I would have done it very different. Someone could have told me there was no rush!

Me too.

I think it might be regional. I grew up in a rough area and I was 14, as were many of my friends and some were even 13. There is a high rate of underage pregnancy where I grew up and I think it is due to a lack of education on sex IMO. Looking back I was far too young.

I was 15, most people I know were 15-18