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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

When is a "normal" age to lose your virginity?

407 replies

goosefats · 25/12/2020 22:28

Name changed because this is something I would not like to follow me around on here, if you please Grin

I was having a little Xmas Zoom call with one of my female friends this evening and we got a little drunk on our (individual) Pinot Grigios, and things started getting a little personal. We began talking about our first times, to which I told her I had sex for the first time at 15. She immediately had a "Shock Oh my GOD, Goosefats!" response which I thought was a little mad as I figured that was a normal age.
According to her, it was far too young and I'm wondering what the general consensus is?

Obviously it's a personal choice, just to preface! I'm just curious as to what age you think is appropriate and what age you'd have a strong response to Grin Relatively light-hearted thread, and please be kind to my friend, she's salt of the Earth but relatively sheltered (bless her heart!). x

OP posts:
KarlKennedysDurianFruit · 25/12/2020 22:38

I would say 15-18 for most, I was 16 but only just, BF and I waited until it was legal, but in reality if it had happened a few weeks earlier it wouldn't have been any different

RozHuntleysStump · 25/12/2020 22:39

14

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 25/12/2020 22:39
  1. I definitely would say the earliest I felt even remotely ready was perhaps nearing 18th birthday

A lot of people I know were in 6th form so 17 or 18, first serious boyfriend etc, I think that's normal. 16 or I under I think quite young for most people.

Vitaminsss · 25/12/2020 22:40

15 isn’t that young. That’s year 11, where lots of people have started to date and experience their firsts (with people their own age)

Year 11 pupils definitely aren’t innocent naive kids, they’re fully aware of sex

In my experience the people that waited until university were late bloomers

Quornflakegirl · 25/12/2020 22:40

I was 22.

NoWordForFluffy · 25/12/2020 22:40

I was 18. I know somebody who was 11, which really is stupidly young.

My friends were mostly past the age of consent, and most likely 17+ I think (guessing).

FunnysInLaJardin · 25/12/2020 22:40

I was 14. I have a 15yo DS and don't think he is anywhere near yet!

BuffaloCauliflower · 25/12/2020 22:40

@Hapixmas in my circle it was definitely the girls having sex younger than the boys

KitKatastrophe · 25/12/2020 22:41

I would guess the mean average to be just over 16. Skewed higher because there will be some who are 25+ and hardly any who are under 13. Mode is probably 16.

goosefats · 25/12/2020 22:41

Wish I’d waited longer to have my first time with a much nicer person.

Me too. I would love to know if the age of losing virginity affects regret levels (that sounds odd when I write it down, but I think it would be an interesting thing to know. And another stick to beat the future DCs with! Grin)

OP posts:
PurpleFrames · 25/12/2020 22:41

The first time I had consensual sex I was 13.

CaptainSandy · 25/12/2020 22:41

I was fifteen but almost sixteen. He was underage as well.

Logantrical · 25/12/2020 22:43

I was 17. I think that was fairly average amongst my friends at the time.

Remxhah126 · 25/12/2020 22:44

I was 14. Most of my friends were 14-16.

doadeer · 25/12/2020 22:44

I'd say 15-17 is average in the UK

Pyewhacket · 25/12/2020 22:44

I was 16 , most of my friends too.

BillysMyBunny · 25/12/2020 22:44

I was 19 and the very last of my friends, I would say most were 16/17 but there were a few either side of that as well so 15-18 probably average. That said my friendship group were definitely later than some others in my school; there were girls losing their virginity from Year 9 and several pregnant by Year 11 so think 15 would have been old in those circles.

Mochatatts · 25/12/2020 22:45

I was 22, most of my friends were around 15. The fear of pregnancy, general awkwardness and too many Disney happily ever afters probably played a part.

Hapixmas · 25/12/2020 22:46

Aged 18.3 is average age according to Google!

YourWurstNightmare · 25/12/2020 22:47

The average age in the UK is 18 (google for study details).

My friends group was 16-20, with the 16-year-olds tending to be in long term relationships.

MispyM · 25/12/2020 22:47

Well, that's legal if it's a close in age relationship where I currently live.

I think it's fine but rather young.

I was 18, btw.

Thisismyusernamefornow · 25/12/2020 22:48

18 for me.

RememberSelfCompassion · 25/12/2020 22:49

Gosh Im surprised so many on here were so young. I naiively assumed a mumsnet crowd often with uni etc would be older. Whereas if you leave school/home at 16 of course you might be younger.

I assumed most people were at least 17 and that in social circles that went to uni it was sort of uni age plus... I'm more sheltered than I realised. In my circle it wasnt unusual to wait until engaged!

goosefats · 25/12/2020 22:50

I assumed most people were at least 17 and that in social circles that went to uni it was sort of uni age plus... I'm more sheltered than I realised. In my circle it wasnt unusual to wait until engaged!

You might be my Zoom friend ShockGrin

OP posts:
Pipandmum · 25/12/2020 22:50

I was 19, my son was 15. As most of my friends have kids in the 15-24 age group I think 16-18 is probably most common age.