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Original poster

To be so happy that I’m a single parent

144 replies

Melonlover80 · 25/12/2020 10:02

Really

I have a great relationship with my ex but... we were incompatible. No fireworks. Just incompatible.

So I have been a single parent for last five years. He has the primary aged children every other weekend. I get every Christmas.

And I bloody love it. I read all these threads about tension and arguments with their DHs, and I know there are happy marriages but all those that seem so... unhappy.

Here.... no tension, no arguments, I lead the way as the one parent! And it’s absolute bliss.

Shout out to other single parents.... hard in some ways but so so much better in others!!

OP posts:
HmmSureJan · 25/12/2020 11:22

Slaving away to make a beautiful dinner to the end up crying my little heart out and being called a c

Sad one year my ex was so awful for the entire time that I made him leave. Cue lots of judgment and "how could she do that at Christmas of all times?!" and him playing the victim to the max. I saw some of his family members a few weeks later and they asked me about it in judgmental tones. I cooly said "out of interest how many times did you get called a fat lazy/stupid cunt over Christmas this year?" They said in shocked tones, "I have never been called that by my husband". I replied "well I lost count at 20 times". They shut up then.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 25/12/2020 11:24

I love it too. I get on well with ex. We alternate Christmas. DS is at his dad's this year. I'm on my own today. I can do what I want, eat what I want and watch what I want. No feeling obligated to visit in laws or feel like I'm doing all the "wife work". Bliss.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 25/12/2020 11:24

Haha I just had this conversation with a friend. She said xmas must be hard for you doing it all on your own. I said oh no , so much easier than having a big lazy miserable twat dragging us down !
Merry Christmas x

CayrolBaaaskin · 25/12/2020 11:26

Merry Christmas to all my fellow single mums!

Mrsdoubtfireswig · 25/12/2020 11:28

Single parent here and we are having a lovely time !! Chilled morning opening presents / playing as we go - it’s bliss !

Yea it is hard work doing everything alone in the run up and sometimes wish I had an extra hand with sorting / organising / wrapping etc but it’s so worth it

Happy Christmas to all the single parents !

Crappyfridays7 · 25/12/2020 11:30

Merry Christmas 🎄 to you all, my boys are with their dad this year so it’s a bit weird second in a row as he’s police I’m nhs
I’ll see them soon though agree life is much better
Having dinner with him and kids later then taking them home for pressie round 2!!
Def advantages to being on your own & doing your own thing & my kids see their dad 2/3 days a week and we get on great 😊
Sometimes it’s better for everyone

PhillyJoe · 25/12/2020 11:34

It's my first one since divorce. I've had the kids last night and this morning and they are off to their dad's later. So far it's been the best Christmas I've had in a long time.

Whatisthisfuckery · 25/12/2020 11:35

Me and DS have been a family for 7 years now. I would like a proper DP in the future but not until the right woman comes along. I’d rather be single than in another shit relationship. Me and DS are happy as we are.

PhillyJoe · 25/12/2020 11:36

It was no extra work on my own. My ex didn't do any of it anyway and moaned about the stuff I wanted to do to make it nice so this year has been a delight!

Loodally · 25/12/2020 11:41

6th Christmas as a lone parent here and I wouldn't change it for anything.
No having to put up with him opting out and going back to bed, no walking on egg shells, scared to put a foot wrong because then he'd have the excuse he needed to become violent and abusive.
Instead, we have calmness and a chilled out atmosphere.

He hasn't legally been able to see DD's since 2015 and the relief is still amazing.

Merry Christmas everyone 🙂

Snowy0w1 · 25/12/2020 11:47

yeh, single parent of teens here, feeling the same peace and contentment.

The hardest thing was other people's judgement and pity (when they were smaller). Now I don't think of myself as a single parent. I guess I am, but I just don't ''identify'' as a single parent Hmm I'm a person. This is my situation. It's better than a lot of other situations!

Enjoy the day!

AdelaideK · 25/12/2020 11:47

Yes you can feel lonelier in a bad relationship than being on your own.

I get on very well with my ex. He's a good dad. He's here at the moment helping the kids set new games up but I am far happier without him and his doom and gloom face living with us.

Snowy0w1 · 25/12/2020 11:49

@Dontforgetyourbrolly

Haha I just had this conversation with a friend. She said xmas must be hard for you doing it all on your own. I said oh no , so much easier than having a big lazy miserable twat dragging us down ! Merry Christmas x
yes, when I was sensitive to what other people thought, that was one of the worst parts! For me! Feeling pitied when I knew that finally things were fixed. it's a weird one. I don't care what people think now. Doesn't enter my head any more.
Lucyccfc68 · 25/12/2020 11:55

Another single parent here. I love it. Chilled morning with just DS and I opening presents.

Invited ex-H for dinner and he has just rocked up with bacon and bread as well as a gammon joint and pudding.

My house, my rules, so he will prep all the veg, wash the pots and clean the kitchen after dinner. He is not allowed alcohol after spoiling DS’s 3rd Christmas by getting pissed.

After 12 years of being on my own, the relationship between me and ex-H is pretty good.

Pebbledashery · 25/12/2020 12:09

Someone just said it on here.. You can feel lonely in a bad relationship. I remember thinking if this was my life I didn't want to live it. So grateful to have been able to leave and have a lovely Xmas with my daughter. Currently having party food before our roast later😊

roastedpudding · 25/12/2020 12:11

It's the best way to parent as far as I am concerned, we have our home how we want it and it's ours with no arguments

Snowy0w1 · 25/12/2020 12:14

Yeh, your house your rules. If you invite an xh of 12 years over, he knows that he has to prep the veg if that's what you've asked him to do (if he wants to come next year)

Snowy0w1 · 25/12/2020 12:16

@roastedpudding

It's the best way to parent as far as I am concerned, we have our home how we want it and it's ours with no arguments
I was saying to some younger starry eyed in love kids :-p a while ago that I thought that finding somebody you trusted to honour their commitment to share the freedom, disposable income. responsibilities/ career sacrifices, childcare 50:50 would be a better way. They looked at me like I was a robot from the future, but you know, .......... bleep!
HerselfIndoors · 25/12/2020 12:24

Agree op! We do actually see ex on Christmas Day, but being able to do all the prep alone, have fun with the kids and not have to deal with his pa shit, laziness and selfishness is great. Like some pps, I’m still single years down the line - I theoretically like the idea of having a lovely man, but I can’t face actually dating, and even if I meet mr perfect one day, he’s NEVER moving in! I love making the domestic decisions in my own home and getting into my own bed at night is the best. Reading as late as I want, having the light on or off, stretching out in the whole bed, not feeling bad that I don’t want sex, not having to share with a smelly sweaty bloke, and I even get affection and company because the cat always joins me :o I am so much less stressed. LP fist bump 👊

DrizzleandDamp · 25/12/2020 12:25

Ditto, relaxing run up, now amicable (though fairly absent) ex here for a few hours playing with the girls and having fun then dinner at sisters.

No rowing, no tension, just lovely!!

DrizzleandDamp · 25/12/2020 12:26

And ditto to PP I date occasionally but if it ever leads anywhere we are keeping separate houses! Not giving up my hard won peace and freedom!

cookiemon666 · 25/12/2020 12:26

4 years as a single parent to 4 kids. Best thing I ever did. Our Christmas's happen how we want. And no stroppy man interfering.x

roastedpudding · 25/12/2020 18:03

@Snowy0w1 I've seen more flying pigs than men like that HmmGrin

MiaMarshmallows · 25/12/2020 18:07

I'm lucky enough to have a man like snowow1 describes but it's great to see single parents happy on this thread x

MPolsted · 25/12/2020 18:08

Same here. Single for seven years now. It’s bloody marvellous. I get every Christmas too.