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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - DH ruined Christmas ....again

151 replies

thelooneywitch · 25/12/2020 08:50

I'm so angry, I've gone back upstairs, I can't stand looking at him. I'm Eastern European and we celebrate Christmas on the 24th. DH had refused to go and see my family for Christmas dinner and celebration so I said I will cook dinner at home. Instead, he decided that we will spend the whole day yesterday seeing his family so I ended up not celebrating my Christmas at all this year. I was upset as this is the first time in my entire life that I didn't celebrate on the 24th. I got over it by the end of the day since we're celebrating Christmas today too. I'm pregnant and my insomnia is getting crazy, I woke up at 2am again last night and been up ever since, I'm shattered and sleep deprived. Last night I asked him to come to bed at a reasonable time as we have to be up early, he said fine. I Tried to wake him up at 5.30 to come and get everything ready for DD waking up and opening her presents, etc. He wasn't having any of it so I left him. DD woke up just before 7am and I had to tell him multiple times to get up otherwise I would've gone downstairs to open her presents with her myself without him. He managed to get up and I asked him nicely that today is about DD and making it special for her so all I ask is that he doesn't fuck off back to bed. He said ok. Instead, he went to sleep on the sofa while I was left to unpack all of her toys with her and play. Now he's refused to make or even have breakfast with us because he's tired and already sick of me moaning at him to get up and be an adult at 8am. We were scheduled to finally go and see my family at 12 today, he now said he's not coming because he's tired and he will only be seeing his family for Christmas dinner later this afternoon. I'm fuming. I said I need him to be an adult and not have a lie in today out of all the days, we were meant to have had breakfast together and then get ready to go and see my family. Not happening. I said I needed him to be up to watch DD while I get ready and he said 'it's not my fucking fault you take forever to get ready'. I haven't done a full face of makeup and my hair once this year, I was really looking forward to it after the crap yer we've had but looks like we're not going anywhere now. I'm now sat on the bed crying while he's asleep on the sofa and DD is playing on her own. Apparently I need to stop being a child and always moaning and that my New Years resolution should be just that. AIBU or is it hormones???

OP posts:
TeaAndHobnob · 25/12/2020 08:52

He's a fucking arsehole and your first new year's resolution needs to be to get rid of the joy sponge and next year you and your children will have a wonderful 24th December

Caramel81 · 25/12/2020 08:53

He sounds utterly vile!

DemolitionBarbie · 25/12/2020 08:54

Go and see your family. Have a big bubble bath and nap while you're there. Leave DD at home with your DH. Don't let him call the shots, he's being a complete pig.

NoMansAnIsland · 25/12/2020 08:56

Jesus.

LTB he sounds awful.

NoMansAnIsland · 25/12/2020 08:57

@DemolitionBarbie

Go and see your family. Have a big bubble bath and nap while you're there. Leave DD at home with your DH. Don't let him call the shots, he's being a complete pig.
Leave DD at home?!

Why would you suggest that?! That would be really OOO.

PinkiOcelot · 25/12/2020 08:57

OP he’s an arse hole! Can you get ready and go and see your family and then stay there with your DD. He can go to his family on his own later!

He sounds horrible OP and is seriously be considering a different future without him in it if I were you.

Weedsnseeds1 · 25/12/2020 08:58

Get dressed, put your make up on, stick a plastic bag over his head, take your child and go and see your family.

Butterymuffin · 25/12/2020 08:58

Get some make up on and go and see your family. Don't let him spoil everything for you.

VenusOfWillendorf · 25/12/2020 08:59

Put your child, her toys and your make up bag in the car and go to your parents. Have your bath there while they enjoy their grandchild and go home when you are ready. Let your 'D'H sort out his own day however he sees fit.

notacooldad · 25/12/2020 09:00

Go and see your family. Have a big bubble bath and nap while you're there. Leave DD at home with your DH
Why would you suggest she leave dd at home? Wouldn't the family like to see the child?

Pipandmum · 25/12/2020 09:01

I could not be with someone so thoughtless and, dare I say it, cruel. Not only is he spoiling the holidays for you but he is showing no respect to you, your child or your family. Consider whether you want everything that matters to you treated the same way in the future.

CaptainSandy · 25/12/2020 09:01

Go and see your parents. And then leave the horrible selfish shit of a man.

SimplyRadishing · 25/12/2020 09:02

He is a fucking arsehole.

It's early still. The day isn't done.
Find you anger and control your own fate.

1.Stop crying.

  1. Take your child and make up bag and go to to your parents asap( you can do hair and make up there)
Book an uber if you have to or can't drive (your post implies you can't leave the house without him?) or call your parents and explain. 3 turn your phone off
  1. Have a lovely day

Don't let him control you and let him explain to his sodding parents why he was so awful he is spending Xmas alone.

Honestly think about leaving- he sounds horrible and you and children deserve better.

Marmozet · 25/12/2020 09:04

Take your child and go see your family. Then start filling for a divorce from this idiot.

HighSpecWhistle · 25/12/2020 09:05

What a vile partner.

Go and see your family. I suspect they'll be around in your life a lot longer than your "partner".

It's not hormones at all. He's a selfish pig.

timeforawine · 25/12/2020 09:05

@SimplyRadishing

He is a fucking arsehole.

It's early still. The day isn't done.
Find you anger and control your own fate.

1.Stop crying.

  1. Take your child and make up bag and go to to your parents asap( you can do hair and make up there)
Book an uber if you have to or can't drive (your post implies you can't leave the house without him?) or call your parents and explain. 3 turn your phone off
  1. Have a lovely day

Don't let him control you and let him explain to his sodding parents why he was so awful he is spending Xmas alone.

Honestly think about leaving- he sounds horrible and you and children deserve better.

This. I hope your day improves OP
thelooneywitch · 25/12/2020 09:06

He always turns it around on me like it's my fault. I can't remember a year where he didn't ruin my birthday, Mother's Day or anything that was meant to be special to me. I never get an apology either because in his eyes, I'm the one that's in the wrong and expect too much. I can't go because I no longer have a car and he just physically will not get up to take me and even if I asked him to, he would blame me of 'ruining Christmas' by kicking up a fuss.

OP posts:
CookieDoughKid · 25/12/2020 09:06

I would pack an overnight bag just in case and go straight to your parents with dd. Sounds like your Dh is not bothered at all so go enjoy yourself. It is not too late!! And come back tomorrow if you can. And then I’d think about leaving the selfish bastard.

CookieDoughKid · 25/12/2020 09:07

Can u get a family member to pick you up?

Thisisworsethananticpated · 25/12/2020 09:07

I agree to see family without him

I can’t tell you how many Xmas my ex ruined OP
Been there , so many times
Store this
But it’s so painful 😣 I know Flowers

lilylongjohn · 25/12/2020 09:07

Can you stay at your families for a few days with your dd. Bollocks to him. He sounds like an abusive shit

BubblyBarbara · 25/12/2020 09:09

Could he have sleep apnea or something?

Hailtomyteeth · 25/12/2020 09:09

I've had enough of him, and so have you. Take dd to your parents and relax.

Alexa1990 · 25/12/2020 09:09

Please do all of the above.

Pack the car, with your DD, toys, clothes overnight bag and make up. Shower and get ready at your parents whilst they enjoy your daughter. Then enjoy Xmas and in a few days time plan how to leave this hideous man. Focus on your dd and unborn baby. You’re better off a happy single mother than a controlled one with a hideous man.

If you can’t drive then a taxi, or call parents. Parents always understand.

Ps- your husband is verbally abusing and controlling you. It is not normal or ok.

timeisnotaline · 25/12/2020 09:10

Would your family collect you? And can you pack clothes for at least a week?

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