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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does anybody else think they have nothing to open in the morning?

149 replies

Jimbellselmbath · 24/12/2020 23:52

I have sourced and purchased all presents on both sides of the family. Some are really well thought out and DH has a much bigger family than me.
We have 3 dc and a dog. I have wrapped them all and put them out, along with 10 or so presents I have bought for DH. Cheap things I think he would like along with 2 biggies that he has mentioned wanting recently.
He has put a card out for me. Not asked where the paper or sellotape is. There is money in there isn't there? Sad
I am not high maintenance at all, I would be happy with a chocolate and candle for under a tenner etc. (We're not skint) so the kids can see me opening something and being all chuffed with it but I'm. going to sit there like a lemon.
Christmas for me is about unwrapping things you know a person will love, no matter how cheap or expensive. And i fucking hate shopping, he loves it and buys himself something weekly.
I don't mean to seem ungrateful but I am already in knots over it as after a shite year I don't think it is too much to ask that I get to open something. A £1 box of matchmakers and a £3 Aldi candle would make my day, he knows I love both.
Argh I know I'm being precious, first world problems etc. but urgh fucking money, I feel like shoving it up his arse

OP posts:
AliceAbsolum · 25/12/2020 17:30

Yes tell us!

ElizaLaLa · 25/12/2020 18:23

Did you get anything op?

Givemeabreak88 · 25/12/2020 19:12

Probably did so hasn’t been back Grin

Original poster
Jimbellselmbath · 25/12/2020 19:56

Sorry, not had 2 minutes all day

I got money. Wanted to cry as everyone else was opening theirs. DH was mortified. Kids had a lovely day. DH cousin came to us for lunch and brought me a lovely kosher wine exceptions are made for alcohol but very thoughtful all the same

I have been shopping for a shielding lady on the street and she left me a bottle and some chocolates on the step, bless her.

The only thing I really want is a Christina piercing so I am thinking of getting one without consulting DH Confused but I don't know if I'm going mad and just kicking out.

He's been fast asleep for hours now, very much waited on all day.

OP posts:
Nochristmasbreak · 25/12/2020 20:05

Did he say anything when you opened the money?

What would he say if mumsnet were to ask him 'why did you get your wife money for Christmas?'

gamerchick · 25/12/2020 20:13

The only thing I really want is a Christina piercing so I am thinking of getting one without consulting DH confused but I don't know if I'm going mad and just kicking out

Do it, it'll make you feel fab. Grin

You don't need to consult him with whatever you want to do with your own body anyway OP.

Original poster
Jimbellselmbath · 25/12/2020 20:27

He didn't say a thing about his own presents or the lack of mine. He is very loud and vocal ordinarily so it spoke volumes.
Not a word spoken since though I think he has gotten over his embarrassment now.
His cousin invited us to his next week and the piercing place is nearby so I think I'm going to do it 😶

OP posts:
MorganKitten · 25/12/2020 20:31

@Jimbellselmbath

Sorry, not had 2 minutes all day

I got money. Wanted to cry as everyone else was opening theirs. DH was mortified. Kids had a lovely day. DH cousin came to us for lunch and brought me a lovely kosher wine exceptions are made for alcohol but very thoughtful all the same

I have been shopping for a shielding lady on the street and she left me a bottle and some chocolates on the step, bless her.

The only thing I really want is a Christina piercing so I am thinking of getting one without consulting DH Confused but I don't know if I'm going mad and just kicking out.

He's been fast asleep for hours now, very much waited on all day.

Christina piercings take ages to heal but has a super high rejection rate.
Dixiechickonhols · 25/12/2020 21:07

Do speak to him in a few days. That SNL clip linked above makes the point well.

Zagziggirl · 25/12/2020 23:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NiceGerbil · 25/12/2020 23:20

'I got money. Wanted to cry as everyone else was opening theirs. DH was mortified'

Why was he mortified?

That's really odd. He knew what he'd got you. He knows it's usual to exchange presents at Xmas. He knows that it's fun and exciting to open presents.

So he got you a shit present and then was embarrassed it was shit? That makes no sense.

Get your piercing. Obviously. Feel happy at the kids good day and the other nice things that happened.

I don't know what your relationship is like. I would be collaring him and saying. Look this is bollocks. You've had ages. I do most of it. It's one present.

  1. Think how it looks to the kids. Is this what you want them to think a relationship consists of? One person doing all the work. The other person who's supposed to love them bunging some cash in an envelope? Do you want them to think that is ok, normal?
  1. It's Xmas. I do everything. This has pissed me off. It's not fucking difficult. Ask me what I want, buy it. Or, if feeling like something a bit trickier. See what things I use/ like and is running out, see what I say oh that's nice too....

I mean I'm shit at presents. Really bad. Every year I feel guilty because DH gets me lots of original thoughtful stuff and I get him a couple of things that are to be honest a bit rubbish. But at least I try. I've been apologising again today... But the idea of getting him nothing I mean that's shit. And I am VERY bad at presents.

Bookworming · 26/12/2020 07:12

That's rubbish OP, but do use the money to buy something lovely for yourself.

Northernmummy80 · 26/12/2020 07:47

Just googling the piercing 😳😳😳

Didn’t know that even existed, I’m obviously not down the kids 🤣

Shoxfordian · 26/12/2020 07:51

Wow you’re brave for that piercing op

justanotherneighinparadise · 26/12/2020 07:59

That piercing has a high rejection rate. Don’t give yourself an infection as a Christmas present.

skodadoda · 26/12/2020 08:03

@Northernmummy80

Just googling the piercing 😳😳😳

Didn’t know that even existed, I’m obviously not down the kids 🤣

Me too, looks distinctly dodgy 😟
Snowy0w1 · 26/12/2020 08:27

yes, I googled it and thought, omg, why why why

Boulshired · 26/12/2020 10:12

It’s certainly changed the thread, wasn’t expecting the image. Had to quickly change the angle of the phone.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 26/12/2020 15:25

Glad l'm not the only one who didn't know what a Christina piercing is.

Well, he gave you money, spend it how you want.

NiceGerbil · 26/12/2020 15:27

Wow I missed what sort of piercing it was!

MsTSwift · 26/12/2020 15:49

Sorry but ewww. Why?

Alconleigh · 26/12/2020 15:52

I've got a VCH piercing OP and love it, so don't be off by the "ew" reactions if you want that sort of piercing! And he gave you money so spend it on what you want.....sorry you didn't get an actual present, you need to have a calm conversation after Christmas.

LovingCountryLife · 26/12/2020 16:37

Christina piercing 🤢

Twattergy · 26/12/2020 17:56

How's about 'The ways things are hasn't made me happy this, or past Christmases. So can we agree that next year it'll be different. I'd like to suggest that we
a) share present buying and wrapping duties equally b) agree a value of gift for each other and swap presents, if you are not sure what I'd like I'll tell you or will share links to shops where I like pretty much everything."
Yes this is like talking to a child , but once its done its done, and future Christmases should be much happier for you.
I'm Jewish too and not really bothered about Xmas however DH does get me small things (sometimes I tell him what to get me), and I would rather get nothing than money in an envelope which is just weird.

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