HES BLOODY BOUGHT ME A PRESENT

[binkyblinky]

We've just moved house and it's been an expensive year. I've just been sorting the kids gifts into piles and found one for me.

We agreed no gifts and I've got him absolutely nothing. Nothing from the children, I've stuck to the agreement.

He goes way above every year gifts wise and now I feel so guilty 🙁

Homemade vouchers. Not to be opened in front of the children.

It’s not too late. Shops are still open. What did he get you? Put together a posh hamper? Even if you’re in tier 4 the food shops are open.

My DH is like this. He goes totally overboard for me and still does even when we've said no presents.

Shops are still open, get yourself down there!!

Amazon same day delivery?

Get him tickets to something late next year online. Or something that may be expensive but will save you money in the long run like annual passes to your local zoo/theme park etc.

@TeenageMutantNinjaCovid

Homemade vouchers. Not to be opened in front of the children.

Haha I like this

Tough shit! If you say no presents then you can’t be upset you don’t get one.

If he wants to buy one for you that’s on him, no need to reciprocate.

This happened to me last year! We'd just reserved our house and were saving hard for the deposit so agreed no gifts. I didn't buy a thing. He bought me several lovely things that I didn't know about until they were handed to me xmas morning. I felt awful but he genuinely didn't want anything and has never brought up the fact that I got him nothing.

I can't get out now. Two special needs kids plus a toddler! And not much money either ☹️

Yes I think it might have to be an 'at home in the bedroom' voucher later.

It was in normal wrapping paper and I thought it was one of our eldest'S birthday gifts, that's how I found it.

He's really cross / disappointed as he say he went to a lot of effort to make it a suprise. I haven't opened it.

In the past I've had dyson hairdryer, dyson straighteners, tickets and hotel in to Iceland, tickets to see Metallica in Portugal.

It's deffo not the dyson air wrap to complete the set ha ha!

I feel so guilty!

We agreed the same in our house, my wife has brought me something, got a £100 voucher for Amazon from work, she can buy what she wants

No no no! Don’t feel guilty and he doesn’t get to be upset.

HE is the one who broke the agreement. Don’t be made to feel bad.

Did someone seriously say bedroom vouchers? Who does that? Gross. 🤢

Send it to the OP on another thread whose DH hadn't bought her anything.

Or just smile sweetly and be grateful.

No one is ever satisfied.

@peppita

Did someone seriously say bedroom vouchers? Who does that? Gross. 🤢

Totally.

So... couple makes an agreement. He breaks it. She’s made to feel shit and guilty. He gets to feel superior and she’s left grubbing around having to issue “bedroom” vouchers. Grim.

It was me that said bedroom voucher, which I do each year as a joke anyway. Nothing grim about it.

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!

This was meant to be a bit of a lighthearted post! Of course I'm happy that I've got something to open, but of course I feel guilty, completely normal!

He's worked so hard this year, and I've had so many expenses, he suggested it so I didn't have to worry about what to buy him and for how much

@peppita

Did someone seriously say bedroom vouchers? Who does that? Gross. 🤢

Yeah, Instead of averting my eyes I just averted my mind. But seriously, that’s an awful dynamic to create.

Just say, I thought we agreed not to get each other anything..do a surprised face. That'll do.

@binkyblinky

It was me that said bedroom voucher, which I do each year as a joke anyway. Nothing grim about it.

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!

This was meant to be a bit of a lighthearted post! Of course I'm happy that I've got something to open, but of course I feel guilty, completely normal!

He's worked so hard this year, and I've had so many expenses, he suggested it so I didn't have to worry about what to buy him and for how much

No it is properly grim.

My take on this is that your DH has access to enough cash to splash out on expensive presents so he can feel like a big man and provider, rather than you both having access to enough cash to buy each other a present.

I had this in my marriage but didn't realise it until after we separated, despite working I was always scrabbling around for money and then my ex would buy me a designer handbag or jewellery, he always had more cash than me and always spent more on himself.

My hubby has done this too!

Spent about £120 as well I'm proper fuming. We'd agreed little joke gifts under £10 so that's all I've managed.

He was like oh but you deserve it and I've had a go it him saying I would've preferred not to have to worry about money over January and now hes sulking.

Eldest son says 'it isn't about gifts it's about friends and family, if he loves you and wants to be with you, that's the greatest gift of all. That's the meaning of Christmas'

He's autistic - made me laugh!

We agreed no presents. If DH should be so stupid as to get me a present then I will find the one I got him last year.....which is still unopened at the bottom of his wardrobe......and he can not open it again this year. Fucker.

@ElfieElfington yes I can see how it looks like that. He earns way more than me and pays way more than his share of the bills and mortgage etc ... saves for holidays and allsorts. . I have plenty of money for the month after that and my minimal contribution to things. But I've not even bothered to put anything by because o thought we weren't buying. I could have, but it's gone on the kids, and my mum who I like to spoil!

Write a menu for a home cooked meal. Maybe for new years. Add the date, his favourite meals.

I've seen a lot of threads like this and I always feel like, if you've agreed no presents and then the other person gets you one anyway, you don't have anything to feel guilty about. They know you've not got them one and aren't expecting it. Just enjoy it in the spirit it was intended!